InDoubt Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 Hey guys, In the past, I've had a few relationships where I meet a guy, he's very warm and affectionate (I am a sucker for affection), I fall head over heels, then a few months later things don't work out, and I'm heartbroken. Things tend to get physical fast; although it takes a few months to go "all the way", we do start messing around within the first month. Now, I met this guy through his sister, we are good friends. She knows I am looking for a serious relationship and said her brother is too. We've seen eachother four times since the beginning of the month, we always meet daytime (which is good). We met upr for 4-5 hrs on Saturday; when we were about to say goodbye he held me in his arms for a long long time. It was pretty intense and I got a bit scared, I felt I was falling for him and losing control (and falling for someone in my past is synonymous to getting dumped and hurt...). Next day he was coming to my city and asked if I wanted to meet up. I said yes though I now think that was a mistake, I may seem TOO available to him. He was very affectionate, he wanted to hold my hand all the time, and that scared the hell out of me because I start feeling that rush of blood when I think of him, and I am afraid things will again get physical too fast. Any ideas what I'm doing wrong and how to slow things down? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 you have to simply do what feels right to you. from how "fast" you were saying you move, i feel pretty bad because i tend to move faster. the more time you hang with that person, the easier it gets to get physical. worryin about seeming too available is a game, really. i mean if he is the type that wants a girl to play hard to get, then its not worth your time. if you are available, than so be it. if you want to see him, tell him. go for it girl.....crap happens and one day there will be a guy where you dont get dumped and hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 i think it's ok to start fooling around soon, as long as you don't go all the while for a few months... doesn't sound too fast to me. perhaps just try not to show that you're so into it - enjoy it, but keep your cool. as for meeting him tomorrow, did he ask you how much time you had? if not, just make it short - go for an ice cream, and then say you have to go (make up an excuse if u have to)... good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
InDoubt Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 for your replies. I guess I easily get attached when things get physical, even if it's just holding hands and hugging. It's probably because I take affection to mean 'love' in a subconscious level. The longer I postpone it, I think, the easier would be for both of us to get attached (or not) for the right reasons. You're right, yes, it's important to keep your cool, to show it and to really mean it. I'll try to keep that in mind -though I have to admit, I got a bit of a sinking feeling to hear my best friend say:"oh, maybe it's just a summer fling for him"!! When someone seems so into you, it's hard to keep yourself down to earth at all times, to keep reminding yourself that he may have different motives than you do Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 i can totally relate. I guess it's all about keeping a good balance - let yourself enjoy it, but keep cool enough to not fall apart if it doesn't go far. i think half-the-trick is to simply not see him too often - you cannot get attached to someone if you only see him every other week or so ... But i totally know what you mean - i also fall for proper affection very easily, partially b/c i'm not very affectionate myself I suppose. good luck! -yes Link to post Share on other sites
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