whichwayisup Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 but it will not destroy them. It's all a state of mind and how you deal with it. So MM's wife should be accepting and OK with her husband getting another woman pregnant, and the children should be pleased and be fine with knowing their daddy is going to introduce a half sibling into their lives? I'm sorry but it WILL destroy them. Link to post Share on other sites
mistresswchildren Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 by the way, Congratulations of your pregnancy. I wish you and your baby great blessings. If he is aware, how did your MM react to the news? Gwyn and I are in similar situations, and I feel are becoming fast friends. She is right however, people do tend to jump on us around here. I realize the situation is crappy, but come on, it could have happened to ANY of the OWs on this forum. I was just going to tell you that my MM cried from happiness. He thought I was ending our relationship. He was relieved, and ecstatic. He touched the belly, he talked to the baby, he felt the baby kick. He was also all over me in a sexual sense. Don't ask me, some people are just turned on by that. He told me that he didn't think he ever wanted a child, but then I got pregnant and it was the "happiest day of my life." All of that, I soon realized, was bullsh**. Right up until after I had our son, everything was great, then he slowly pulled away. Like I said before, I didn't realize it at first, and then it hit me like a brick. Then there were those times that he must have been hard up for sex because he came back begging me for another chance. Things were good for a month or so, and then he checked out again. This happened on and off until I got pregnant with my daughter, which he again acted excited about. He bought her a pink football and stuff like that. Then one day he disappeared (read my thread "What do I do?" if you want more details). These MM do what they think a "normal" person would do, but there is one problem with that: they aren't normal. They do not have a normal thinking process. I'm not saying that all cheating MM are like this, but most are. They do what they do to keep themselves happy. The hell with anyone else. I just want to make you aware of what you may or may not be getting into. It may seem alright at first, but that is only because this man will react the way he feels he SHOULD, not the way he really wants to. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 If the words get out, you could be known as the office (you know what) who sleeps with a married man. Seriously now, how would you feel if some office chick did that to YOUR husband when you have a child(ren) with this man already? Don't you have any shame or guilt or is it all about you and your needs? Right. And HE will also be known as the man who cheated on his family. TheRainQuote: Originally Posted by used2saynvr I am no longer at that office and neither is he. But, yet you still meet with him and ask him to finish inside of you. Do you like yourself? Aren't you disgusted with yourself when you look into the mirror? Wow, you are just So wrong...that is just harsh. Being the OW and wanting a baby does not make a woman UGLY, Naive, or bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Oh that's a little harsh, don't you think? It might change their lives drastically, but it will not destroy them. It's all a state of mind and how you deal with it. My child is very healthy and happy, no destruction over here! So I am assuming you were the OW who became pregnant? And you say your child is okay? Well, I'm glad to see someone around here say this, other than MWC. It's nice to know I have hope Especially since most of the people around here insist my child will have an awful upbringing because it's a child conceived by a MM and the OW. Link to post Share on other sites
mistresswchildren Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 sorry about the above, i was having editing issues:o Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 I'll go out and by a bottle. Good idea. Now, I have to ask, but if you are not pregnant, do you plan on continuing to have an affair with him and also have unprotected sex with him again? I just think that if you are not pregnant, take that as a BIG blessing. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 So MM's wife should be accepting and OK with her husband getting another woman pregnant, and the children should be pleased and be fine with knowing their daddy is going to introduce a half sibling into their lives? I'm sorry but it WILL destroy them. I think it may or may not. There are going to be Many things in life that will destroy a child or the child when they are an adult. We can't protect our children from all bad things. Sh*t happens... Link to post Share on other sites
TheRain Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Right. And HE will also be known as the man who cheated on his family. Don't you think he should get more than just a bad name? Wow, you are just So wrong...that is just harsh. Being the OW and wanting a baby does not make a woman UGLY, Naive, or bad. You honestly believe what you said above? If you truly do, I feel sorry for your future child(ren) having such woman as their mother, guardian, and role model. Hopefully, they will follow someone as their role model in life. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Don't you think he should get more than just a bad name? You honestly believe what you said above? If you truly do, I feel sorry for your future child(ren) having such woman as their mother, guardian, and role model. Hopefully, they will follow someone as their role model in life. 1. He will get more than just a bad name, of course. What goes around comes around. 2. yes, I truly believe that or else I would not have said it. Don't feel sorry for my children--they'll be fine. There's more to me than the OW part. I have a lot to offer--being the OW was 1% of my whole. Link to post Share on other sites
mistresswchildren Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Sometimes, some of these OW are so delusional, it's pathetically sad. If you don't have anything constructive to say, then stop posting. We are not perfect here, and we do not claim to be. We come here to try to work out our problems. Many of us are struggling to end the A. Just because you must be the most perfect human being in the world, does not mean that you are God. Our judgment day will come at the end of our lives. You are not judge, jury, and executioner. Unless you have something as far as advice and understanding to add, don't add it. We don't care what you have to say. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 I think it may or may not. There are going to be Many things in life that will destroy a child or the child when they are an adult. We can't protect our children from all bad things. Sh*t happens... G, I'm not talking about when the kids are adults, I'm talking about the NOW. MM's children are not adults now and their little hearts are going to be broken. Link to post Share on other sites
TheRain Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 We don't care what you have to say. Don't you see that being very problematic? It's like a serial killer who simply doesn't care what people think and say to and about him. Link to post Share on other sites
TheRain Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Sh*t happens... Wow, that's how YOU defend yourself, huh? Link to post Share on other sites
Author used2saynvr Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 But, yet you still meet with him and ask him to finish inside of you. Do you like yourself? Aren't you disgusted with yourself when you look into the mirror? thanks for your passion, but i can't bicker back and forth with you about this. No, i don't feel disgusted with myself. Maybe sad. Maybe stupid. Maybe disappointed with my actions. But disgust, no. This is my mistake. I'm sure you have one or two of your own. Do they define you? Do they make you disgusted with yourself? I should hope not. I consider the totality of my character, not one isolated error in judgement. An error, by the way, led by something so natural with a consenting and more-than-willing adult. Now that I've opened my heart to this mess, it's not easy closing the door. But while you're urging me to be so disgusted with myself don't forget, everyone has a secret: you, my MM, even his wife. I'll be a "wife" one day myself. Link to post Share on other sites
mistresswchildren Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Wow, that's how YOU defend yourself, huh? Okay, last response to you. You are obviously not all that intelligent if you are making the comparison between serial killers and affairs. I thought I had drama issues, but yours are all bottled up and coming out all over people that you don't even know. I will not continue to respond to you after this because that is all you seem to be here for. Stroke your ego, make yourself feel better. Make yourself less pathetic because you judge other people. Do whatever you have to to get to sleep at night. I hope you have an highly enjoyable life in your misery. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Rain, you're being rude rather than harsh. If you can't give objective advice or say anything helpful or supportive, maybe you shouldn't post on this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
TheRain Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 I'm sure you have one or two of your own. Yes, I have. But not something so horrible as sleeping with someone else's spouse. An error, by the way, led by something so natural with a consenting and more-than-willing adult. Do you see how immoral you are that you would use such excuse as "consenting" to defend your disgusting behavior? You're actively participating in wrecking a home and a marriage. How would your parents feel about you and would they be proud of you if they found out? I sure hope not, but, maybe an apple really does not fall far from the tree? Link to post Share on other sites
mistresswchildren Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Thank you WWIU. Although you are sometimes harsh, you are always respectful and constructive. That is the point. I appreciate that you see Rain's issue as well. This isn't even my thread, but I am offended on so many levels. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 There's a big difference between being harsh and offering thoughts to a poster and being outright rude and saying hurtful things. I know at times I AM harsh, but let's put it this way, if I didn't say what I truly felt, I wouldn't feel like I was helping the person. That's another difference too, harsh posters DO care, whereas rude ones don't. Link to post Share on other sites
TheRain Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 This isn't even my thread, but I am offended on so many levels. Isn't the reason obvious, MistressWChildren? Link to post Share on other sites
Author used2saynvr Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 Good idea. Now, I have to ask, but if you are not pregnant, do you plan on continuing to have an affair with him and also have unprotected sex with him again? I just think that if you are not pregnant, take that as a BIG blessing. i feel strongly that if my pregnancy test comes back negative, i am going to end the relationship. It will be hard b/c I am so attached to him at this point being the only man in 4 yrs that i have been with (7 mos affair + 3.5 yrs of solitude) I am going to tell him why. I do care about him. And after us, I wouldn't want him to repeat this behavior and end up getting hurt. Just like I don't want either of us hurt right now. But, this is what i'm saying now. Who knows if i'll be strong enough to quit. What i can guarantee, however, is that unprotected sex seizes. Well, that's my honest answer right now. It was a tough one b/c I know everyone wants me to hear me say "yes, it will be over for sure!" but, I've said this before and now I don't even believe myself a second after I say it. But, it is my HOPE that I can stay away from him for good this time as I know I won't get too many second chances. Link to post Share on other sites
mistresswchildren Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 There's a big difference between being harsh and offering thoughts to a poster and being outright rude and saying hurtful things. I know at times I AM harsh, but let's put it this way, if I didn't say what I truly felt, I wouldn't feel like I was helping the person. That's another difference too, harsh posters DO care, whereas rude ones don't. I agree entirely. Most of the things that you say are completely thought provoking even if they are "harsh." I realize that you care, and I am sure that other posters realize it too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author used2saynvr Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 unprotected sex seizes. . ceases, i mean Link to post Share on other sites
mistresswchildren Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 i feel strongly that if my pregnancy test comes back negative, i am going to end the relationship. It will be hard b/c I am so attached to him at this point being the only man in 4 yrs that i have been with (7 mos affair + 3.5 yrs of solitude) I am going to tell him why. I do care about him. And after us, I wouldn't want him to repeat this behavior and end up getting hurt. Just like I don't want either of us hurt right now. But, this is what i'm saying now. Who knows if i'll be strong enough to quit. What i can guarantee, however, is that unprotected sex seizes. Well, that's my honest answer right now. It was a tough one b/c I know everyone wants me to hear me say "yes, it will be over for sure!" but, I've said this before and now I don't even believe myself a second after I say it. But, it is my HOPE that I can stay away from him for good this time as I know I won't get too many second chances. I know the feeling. The wisest things for us to do are always the hardest, but we make our own choices. I just hope that no matter what happens you stick to PROTECTED sex. No matter what, you do not want to have a child with this man. Just be careful with your heart, it won't heal that easily the more he plays with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author used2saynvr Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 How would your parents feel about you and would they be proud of you if they found out? I sure hope not, but, maybe an apple really does not fall far from the tree? my parents are happily married for over 30 years now. This is one reason that I DO feel ashamed and guilty (still not disgusted). I am so happy that your sins/mistakes haven't been as severe as mine. More power to you!! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts