TheRain Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 I am so happy that your sins/mistakes haven't been as severe as mine. More power to you!! Definately something I can be proud of. 7 months, that's just disgusting! Link to post Share on other sites
Author used2saynvr Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 I know the feeling. The wisest things for us to do are always the hardest, but we make our own choices. I just hope that no matter what happens you stick to PROTECTED sex. No matter what, you do not want to have a child with this man. Just be careful with your heart, it won't heal that easily the more he plays with it. you're right. i don't. i just really hope i get the opportunity to start fresh again with my choices. as i said, it's going to be a long couple of weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
TheRain Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 you're right. i don't. i just really hope i get the opportunity to start fresh again with my choices. as i said, it's going to be a long couple of weeks. Are you going to see and talk to him during these "long couple of weeks?" Link to post Share on other sites
mistresswchildren Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Just relax. If you are stressed out, you may not get your period, so don't trust that as an indicator. Actually, either way don't trust that as an indicator that you are or are not pregnant. With my second pregnancy, I had mine. Wait a couple of weeks, then take a test. Get the two for one (I think they are First Response). That way if you test yourself once and you are still not sure, wait another week and try again. That way you get and ABSOLUTE. Sorry to get so detailed, but I've been through it a couple times now. By the way, it would be wise for you to have a close friend with you. I almost passed out the first time I found out I was pregnant. Don't freak out until you have something to "freak out" about. Tomorrow is just another day. Link to post Share on other sites
nymphetgrown Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Don't you see that being very problematic? It's like a serial killer who simply doesn't care what people think and say to and about him. So, sweetness, what's your story? Or are we supposed to take your word as gospel because we're all Loose Women and you've come to offer salvation? Were you betrayed, or did you do the betraying? And if you don't have any vested interest in the topic, perhaps you could do us all a favor and gain some insight before you run off at the mouth again? -- Not Training to Become a Serial Killer Link to post Share on other sites
mistresswchildren Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 -- Not Training to Become a Serial Killer This is just too funny. Link to post Share on other sites
NotMyselfNEmore Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Hmmm..... Link to post Share on other sites
Never_Again Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 So MM's wife should be accepting and OK with her husband getting another woman pregnant, and the children should be pleased and be fine with knowing their daddy is going to introduce a half sibling into their lives? I'm sorry but it WILL destroy them. I am sorry, WWIU, but it will NOT destroy them. It will if they let them. My son's half-siblings LOVED him. They were absolutely thrilled to have a new little sibling. His wife has accepted my child, as well. Their lives are different, but not destroyed. As for me, some days I feel like my life is destroyed and others I am walking on cloud nine. It's all a state of mind. It's all how you deal with the cards that life hands you. Link to post Share on other sites
Never_Again Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Good idea. Now, I have to ask, but if you are not pregnant, do you plan on continuing to have an affair with him and also have unprotected sex with him again? I just think that if you are not pregnant, take that as a BIG blessing. As for me, I take my pregnancy and subsequent child as the biggest blessing of my entire life!!! Link to post Share on other sites
mistresswchildren Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 I am sorry, WWIU, but it will NOT destroy them. It will if they let them. My son's half-siblings LOVED him. They were absolutely thrilled to have a new little sibling. His wife has accepted my child, as well. Their lives are different, but not destroyed. As for me, some days I feel like my life is destroyed and others I am walking on cloud nine. It's all a state of mind. It's all how you deal with the cards that life hands you. Sorry to get off subject here, but I have to ask NA about this. His wife is accepting your child. Is there visitation? Is she good to your child? That is one of those thing that I have yet to deal with until he gets back from Iraq. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Definately something I can be proud of. 7 months, that's just disgusting! Not "Definately," but "Definitely." If you're going to criticize around here, at least spell correctly. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Expect to be hit pretty hard around here as the world isn't yet ready to accept a child out-of-wedlock--especially a MM's child. I don't think the world has that much of an issue with out of wedlock children. I've been completely accepted by friends, family, and co-workers. No one even questions the fact that I am not married. I think most people DO, however, have a huge issue with OW who become pregnant. Link to post Share on other sites
Author used2saynvr Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 Just relax. If you are stressed out, you may not get your period, so don't trust that as an indicator. Actually, either way don't trust that as an indicator that you are or are not pregnant. With my second pregnancy, I had mine. Wait a couple of weeks, then take a test. Get the two for one (I think they are First Response). That way if you test yourself once and you are still not sure, wait another week and try again. That way you get and ABSOLUTE. Sorry to get so detailed, but I've been through it a couple times now. By the way, it would be wise for you to have a close friend with you. I almost passed out the first time I found out I was pregnant. Don't freak out until you have something to "freak out" about. Tomorrow is just another day. absolutey. thank you. i have decided that i will accept whatever the outcome may be. if i am not pregnant, i will sing Hallelujah! b/c even though i want a baby, i would prefer not to make it harder for me, the baby, and everyone else by conceiving one under these circumstances. But, if i am pregnant, then, you know what, i'll be happy as well. B/c what better gift/blessing than motherhood? My baby will be beautiful, strong, and loved (for sure) by me and my side of the family. And i will raise my child with the utmost dignity and courage. Life is a culmination of the choices we make and how we deal with the consequences of those choices. Regrets won't get us too far. Positive forward action will. This site (and all the wonderful advice and encouragement---even the rude comments) has helped me come to understand this. thanks to everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Oh that's a little harsh, don't you think? It might change their lives drastically, but it will not destroy them. It's all a state of mind and how you deal with it. My child is very healthy and happy, no destruction over here! It seems that we have a fundamental difference of opinion here. I believe that children are better off with two parents, JMO. So IMO the child's life is worse off for being the offspring of an affair. The MM and BS? Well obviously they are in a bad place because they must financially support this child. The BS especially - never asked for or wanted that child, but the very existence of that child will impact her life in a horrible way. The MM of course may not even want to have anything to do with the OW anymore, but is forever tied to her through their child. That sucks. Maybe the OW is happy, being a single mother and struggling with her financial/emotional situation to give her child what two parents should be giving it. Again, you may feel differently, but this is my take on the situation. So was can agree to disagree. I believe it will destroy lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 I don't think the world has that much of an issue with out of wedlock children. I've been completely accepted by friends, family, and co-workers. No one even questions the fact that I am not married. I think most people DO, however, have a huge issue with OW who become pregnant. And that's fine. But it doesn't give them the Right to rudely express their opinions and feelings. It's still a pregnancy and it's still a baby no matter How you look at it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 It seems that we have a fundamental difference of opinion here. I believe that children are better off with two parents, JMO. So IMO the child's life is worse off for being the offspring of an affair. The MM and BS? Well obviously they are in a bad place because they must financially support this child. The BS especially - never asked for or wanted that child, but the very existence of that child will impact her life in a horrible way. The MM of course may not even want to have anything to do with the OW anymore, but is forever tied to her through their child. That sucks. Maybe the OW is happy, being a single mother and struggling with her financial/emotional situation to give her child what two parents should be giving it. Again, you may feel differently, but this is my take on the situation. So was can agree to disagree. I believe it will destroy lives. If the BS feels this child has but a damper on her life, then she can leave her marriage. No one is putting a gun to her head telling her to stay with her distrustfull, cheating husband. Link to post Share on other sites
Author used2saynvr Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 I believe it will destroy lives. i understand the point you are making. i think everyone is in agreement that 2 parents are better than 1, no argument there . "Destroy", however, not so sure that is a definite. It COULD, "destroy" lives. It WILL "alter" lives for sure. I think that is the difference here. What CAN happen vs. what WILL happen. This alteration of lives does not have to lead to destruction. It will produce certain discomfort, resentment, lack, etc. But there is hope for everything, is it not? Link to post Share on other sites
precious1357 Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Hi Everyone: I'm jumping in here because i have a couple of sons. My ex husband died when my children were very small and they have never ever known a real father...they are fine, in college and working...being a single parent is hard and I mean hard but guess what? I know plenty and I mean plenty of 2 parent households and the children are really messed up, financially (with/without money), emotionally and everything else. All you can do is the best you can with the help of the Lord, you will be fine! Trust!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author used2saynvr Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 Hi ladies. In my research I have come across some articles that I believe can offer help and support. The first one helps us to understand How this (the affair) Came To Be. I found it VERY accurate as it applies to me. The over articles are for Getting over the Affair. I notice a lot of ladies want to know HOW they can do this. These articles can help me, you, and maybe several people. http://www.talkaboutsupport.com/group/alt.support.shyness/messages/559097.html [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=#800080]http://ezinearticles.com/?Getting-Over-a-Married-Man&id=659413[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=#800080]http://www.loveletterbox.com/love_advice_exciting_life_after_breakup.htm[/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=#800080]http://lonelyou.com/Article-biggest-mistake-to-avoid-after-break-up.html[/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman]i am going to read and re-read all of these so that i can recover from my situation. hope this helps [/FONT][/FONT][/FONT] Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Hi Everyone: I'm jumping in here because i have a couple of sons. My ex husband died when my children were very small and they have never ever known a real father...they are fine, in college and working...being a single parent is hard and I mean hard but guess what? I know plenty and I mean plenty of 2 parent households and the children are really messed up, financially (with/without money), emotionally and everything else. All you can do is the best you can with the help of the Lord, you will be fine! Trust!!!! Thanks for this info! I too know children from both single and double parent homes whom are either straight or messed up. I'm sorry your children had to grow up without a father. It's unfair to the children when they don't get a choice in the matter. I am praying the Lord will help me successfully get through this. My mom did, so I hope I have the same luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author used2saynvr Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 I am praying the Lord will help me successfully get through this. My mom did, so I hope I have the same luck. you will get through this. i know you will. and i wish you the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 you will get through this. i know you will. and i wish you the best. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Never_Again Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Sorry to get off subject here, but I have to ask NA about this. His wife is accepting your child. Is there visitation? Is she good to your child? That is one of those thing that I have yet to deal with until he gets back from Iraq. Yes, she is accepting of my child. There is not currently visitation, but there will be. They have visited with my child in the past. His wife is unusually accepting of him, though. The people that I tell the stories to (lawyers and close friends, etc) are very boggled by her nice and accepting behavior. She is the only reason xmm wants anything to do with his child. She is very good to my child. She is just a very good person. I am sure she hates/loathes me, but she puts those feelings aside and is very cordial... eh, for the most part. *shrugs* Link to post Share on other sites
Never_Again Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 I don't think the world has that much of an issue with out of wedlock children. I've been completely accepted by friends, family, and co-workers. No one even questions the fact that I am not married. I think most people DO, however, have a huge issue with OW who become pregnant. Not any of my friends or family. I am surrounded by an abundance of very accepting people who know the story and do not have a problem with me. The feel bad for what xmm put me through, but are EXTREMELY accepting of me as a single mother as well as me as a single mother with a baby by a deceitful mm. Link to post Share on other sites
Never_Again Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 It seems that we have a fundamental difference of opinion here. I believe that children are better off with two parents, JMO. So IMO the child's life is worse off for being the offspring of an affair. The MM and BS? Well obviously they are in a bad place because they must financially support this child. The BS especially - never asked for or wanted that child, but the very existence of that child will impact her life in a horrible way. The MM of course may not even want to have anything to do with the OW anymore, but is forever tied to her through their child. That sucks. Maybe the OW is happy, being a single mother and struggling with her financial/emotional situation to give her child what two parents should be giving it. Again, you may feel differently, but this is my take on the situation. So was can agree to disagree. I believe it will destroy lives. That might be a matter of opinion, but I will tell you that my child is SURROUNDED by many people who love, adore, and accept him. He is smothered with love and very healthy, happy, etc. No, he doesn't have a "daddy" right now... but he will one day. He is still too young to even understand what a daddy is. I could care less if the MMs life is destroyed. BS.... I'm not sure. I still think it is all a matter of how you roll with the punches. My xMMs wife takes everything in stride and doesn't seem to be destroyed. I am happy. Sure it is a struggle financially. But the financial struggles do not even COMPARE to the intense amount of joy I get from my child on a daily basis. I have so much drive and determination now when it comes to my goals... which I seriously lacked before becoming pregnant. Like I said before, becoming pregnant was the best thing that could have happened to me in so many ways. Link to post Share on other sites
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