jalexy Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 When your man looks or talks about another woman's body. I have issues with my man and celebrities. He freaking loves to look at ashanti's, britney's etc... bodies. I do not look like them so it makes me insecure as to why he just loves their sexiness so much. I am the real deal, they arent. so I dont understand why they get the attention. I am so insecure, its pathetic! any ideas, hints for me? how do i get over this? i know talking to him is very important but i think asking him to not look at these women anymore will be wrong or make him just want to do it more? thanks Link to post Share on other sites
rockchick87 Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 i have the same insecurity myself. im alwayz jealous when my boyfriend is looking at porn and stuff. it makes me feel like my body isnt good enough for him. and he has to go look at other womens' bodies. all i can say is...he loves you. not them. i think men are insecure themselves...and dont know how to react to it. so instead of talking about it...they turn to porn and posters of picture perfect women. dont feel like you need to look better for him. you're perfect the way you are. talk to your husband about how it makes you feel. thats wat i do with my boyfriend. but for some reason i cant get thro to him...MALES!!! their so frustrating!! hang in there girl! ----rockchick87 Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 I suppose I'm just lucky when it comes to this issue, jalexy. My guy is always conscious of my feelings and never comments about finding other women attractive (at least not in front of me). He does however, have a thing for Jennifer Aniston! But I figure, as long as she's with Prad Pitt...and I keep him a continent away from Hollywood...its not likely I'll be sparing with her in THIS lifetime. (ha ha) Of course, I always tease him that if I were a guy, I think I'd prefer Selma Hyack! And I don't think there would be many men out there who would disagree No sense in getting all worked up over the fantasy images we see on television. However, if you find your man is being rude or disrespectful, you might want to mention it to him. Perhaps he actually *likes* getting a rise out of you. In some ways, prodding that little jealous streak in you might be a way for him to get affirmation that you still care (as twisted as that might sound). It's when you STOP caring that they really get worried!! Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 enigma, what a perfect reply. i really agree, that he tends to say something to get a rise out of me, i totally agree. i dont think hes really had a girl care for him before, maybe this is his sick way of seeing if i do....oh well. thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
lynnedays Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 Hi, I know how you feel. My boyfriend used to make comments and I used to deliberately try to quickly skip through the channels with hot women on it or somethign so I could avoid hearing it. The thing was... I talked to him one night at dinner not intending at all to get on the subject but some how we ended up talking about jealousy and if we were or weren't jealous people. He commented that he wasn't a very jealous person and the only thing he got jealous about was my time. I made a comment that I never really talked about if I found other men attractive infront of him because I felt it would be disrespectful of him and I wouldnt' want him to ever feel he was lacking in something. This *really* surprised him. He asked if I felt that way when he talked about women. I told him I did a little bit. He has not commented on a woman sense. I think men at certain times are clueless. Esp. if ti's somethign that doesn't bother them at all. If I mention another guy my boyfriend told me he doesn't feel lacking he just very methodically looks at the other guy to see what it is that makes him attractive so he can add it. LOL. I however can't do that ..because it's not so easy to just add big breasts. So I feel lacking. Anyway... maybe lightly clue him in one night. Mine had no idea and hasn't done it sense. Lynne Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 thank you for your reply. i have said something to him and he thinks im crazy because these are just celebs and what not. he doesnt get it. it makes me mad, but whatever. men!!! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 fortunately, mine doesn't do that, his mama must've trained him properly! But if he did, I'd make sure to be in the same room as him whenever Heath Ledger or Sting or some other blond hottie was on TV, smack my lips loudly and say, "hey! that's what I want in my Christmas stocking!" several times throughout the evening. Sometimes it pays to act like a bigger jackass so the other person sees just how dumb they can be! Link to post Share on other sites
km82794 Posted July 17, 2003 Share Posted July 17, 2003 It's almost funny that I am reading your post today... Last night as I was on my way home from work, I was listening to this radio show and they were asking what women find to be a man's most annoying habit....... 67 percent of the women said that a man's most annoying habit was checking out another women in their presense. BEING THAT THIS IS MY MAN'S WORST HABIT, I went home and told him what I had heard.... He explained to me that the reason they do this is because these women are something they aren't ever going to get. These women are purely fantasy. Like my addiction to Vin Diesel movies. And he's right. Let's be serious here.... It's not like Britney Speers is going to come to Ohio to steal my boyfriend or Vin Diesel is going to come rescue me from my ho hum life. I can't say my boyfriends checking out other women hurts me. I mean God gave us eyes to look. Frankly, I just think it's rude. I really think it's an insecurity thing (your hurt), and that I completely understand, BUT, honey, he picked YOU, he was attracted to YOU and he's still with nobody but YOU. I'm a little mischevious at times and a bit of an instigator, so here's a funny story for you.... My boyfriend had this thing for this older women who worked at this store we frequented. He was always eyeballing her every time we went there and making stupid comments under his breath like "she could cook me dinner anytime". One day when we were there (me knowing exactly what he would do when he seen her). She had her backed turned to us and of course he made some stupid remark. All of a sudden I let out this fake, whining, LOUD cry to him "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S PRETTIER THAN ME"?!?!?!? (I had stopped right behind her at the store, so she knew who I was talking about). I had fake tears and everything. It was something off of Days of Our Lives. The lady just turned and looked at him, you know she was thinking "that b*stard". My boyfriend got so embarassed, he immediately left the store and refuses to go back. I laughed so hard after we left, I did actually cry. Moral of the story, I think he learned a very valuable lesson that day about checking women out in front of me. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted July 17, 2003 Share Posted July 17, 2003 that is a funny story. i think the thing that irritates me the most is the part where men look or we look (i too have an obsession with vin) at other people that we arent ever going to get. we could have someone that looks exactly like who we drool over (i go to college and there are tons of hotties like vin in the weight room) but we CHOOSE not to. so i think its just something out of our human nature that we do and dont know why. we just do it. hehe Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 17, 2003 Share Posted July 17, 2003 ooooh, yer good, km ... what a good way to break someone of a rude habit like that! Link to post Share on other sites
Gray Posted July 17, 2003 Share Posted July 17, 2003 From a guys point of view, I've always seen it as two different animals (wow I used "animals" twice today in posts). 1. Real World Women. These are the women you see when you're out on a date, or holding hands on the boardwalk. If I got caught looking in this situation, I'd expect a smack. Its rude and not very flattering to my girlfriend. I try very hard not to let my eye wander, but it happens. I think its a guy thing. Sometimes I'm not even thinking; a totally subconscience (used "subconscience" twice today too) action. 2. TV/Movie/Print women Now maybe my girlfriend and I aren't jealous. But I've always felt these type of women are open game for comments like "GD she is hot." I don't go into detail, but there ya have it. Its cuz they're fake, they're made up, they're put there for that reason. Same with my girlfriend and guys. I remember reading one of your other posts on this subject. I think you're just very self-conscience. Ya gotta get over it. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted July 17, 2003 Share Posted July 17, 2003 I remember reading one of your other posts on this subject. I think you're just very self-conscience. Ya gotta get over it. gee, ya think so? lol im working on it, i think its going to be a long battle. ive had an eating disorder for about 5 years of my life, so you can see just how bad my self esteem was,and its better now. One day, one day, ill get that self esteem i need. thanks Link to post Share on other sites
wideawake Posted July 18, 2003 Share Posted July 18, 2003 I keep my mouth shut unless my girl asks for an opinion. I don't really want to her going off about hot guys on tv either to be honest. It works for us. Link to post Share on other sites
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