Friend turning more?

[tim]

Hi. I am a second year college student who recently spent a weekend with his best female friend from high school. We had a really great time and ended up talking for two hours after everyone else went to sleep. We talked about going out once and both seemed to like it. WE have both been hurt by past loves in the past and know about each others. When we talked about it after this weekend we both weren't sure if we wanted to go out. My friend says she thinks she wants to stay the way we are for now. That, I said, was fine with me.

 

Her concerns when we wer talking included that she thinks that in a realtionship she would bring out a side thta she does not want to show me. I told her that I wouldn't careabout that if she would give me a chance.

 

Now, in the past few days, I think I have really fallen for my friend. I cannot stop thinking about her. I know that we both like each other, but I'm not sure if she wants it now.

 

I want to know if she does but i am afraid to ask her.

 

Any suggestions? I know it doesn't compare with the problems of some on the list but it is important to me.

 

please help me out if possible.

[Melissa]

Tim,

 

First I have a question for you, how long have you guys been friends? And exactly how close are you now (friendly)? I ask this because it can make a huge difference.

 

Let me just tell you a similar situation that I myself was in. I had been dating this guy for a year, when I broke up with him to date my Best Friend who happened to be a male. We fell in love in a similar way, we were talking one night for hours at my house, when we kissed. After the kiss, we talked about what we really wanted, and only days after that, we started dating. We dated for a year, and actually moved in together after 6 months of dating. Things with us did NOT work out. We just knew too much about each others past and were too close of friends to actually have a relationship in that way. To make a long story short we ended up getting into a huge fight and breaking up. We have not spoke to each other at all since. I feel that I lost my Best Friend by making a silly mistake. If we would have really thought about things and did not go the route we did, we would still be Best Friends, now we are enemies, and it really sucks.

 

Now, I am not saying that if you go through with your feelings with your friend that this will happen to you, but it is always a possibilty. I think you should really think about the consequences before you rush right in. I mean things could work out for the best and end up soul mates for the rest of your lives, but on the other hand you could end up losing your Best Friend forever. Just think about it really hard and deep, before you do anything. Let me know how things go, and what you plan to do.

Hi. I am a second year college student who recently spent a weekend with his best female friend from high school. We had a really great time and ended up talking for two hours after everyone else went to sleep. We talked about going out once and both seemed to like it. WE have both been hurt by past loves in the past and know about each others. When we talked about it after this weekend we both weren't sure if we wanted to go out. My friend says she thinks she wants to stay the way we are for now. That, I said, was fine with me. Her concerns when we wer talking included that she thinks that in a realtionship she would bring out a side thta she does not want to show me. I told her that I wouldn't careabout that if she would give me a chance. Now, in the past few days, I think I have really fallen for my friend. I cannot stop thinking about her. I know that we both like each other, but I'm not sure if she wants it now. I want to know if she does but i am afraid to ask her. Any suggestions? I know it doesn't compare with the problems of some on the list but it is important to me. please help me out if possible.

[Shirley]

Hi. I am a second year college student who recently spent a weekend with his best female friend from high school. We had a really great time and ended up talking for two hours after everyone else went to sleep. We talked about going out once and both seemed to like it. WE have both been hurt by past loves in the past and know about each others. When we talked about it after this weekend we both weren't sure if we wanted to go out. My friend says she thinks she wants to stay the way we are for now. That, I said, was fine with me. Her concerns when we wer talking included that she thinks that in a realtionship she would bring out a side thta she does not want to show me. I told her that I wouldn't careabout that if she would give me a chance. Now, in the past few days, I think I have really fallen for my friend. I cannot stop thinking about her. I know that we both like each other, but I'm not sure if she wants it now. I want to know if she does but i am afraid to ask her. Any suggestions? I know it doesn't compare with the problems of some on the list but it is important to me. please help me out if possible.

Hi

 

Yes, tell her that you love her. But don't pressure her to make a decision. She has to deal with her own feelings. If she loves you, then those feelings will eventually lessen the fears she has. Love is a powerful feeling and it hits all of a sudden. But she has to accept those feelings all on her own. So for right now, just be there for her. Have fun dating her, and tell her everyday that you love her.