wynnie Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 I had been dating this guy for almost a year. We have been through a few rough spots but always worked them out. He was even talking marriage.Then he broke up with me the other night. Says he doesn't want to be attached right now. That was Monday night. Then he called me later that night. Then he text messaged me at 5:50 Tuesday morning and emailed me at 6:19 same day. Then he called me at 10 am just to chat. That evening he came by my house and brought me some books and a thing of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. He stayed for almost 2 hours. He sat right next to me on the couch and put his arm around my shoulders and hugged me a lot and kissed my forehead and cheek. I looked at him and asked what he wanted. He said he just needs time. The books he brought were about job hunting and interviewing - which I am doing right now. He knows I have a job interview today, so he emailed me at 7 this morning to wish me luck. What is going on? Why is he doing all that now? He told me he still loves me and I am special to him. He told me I am his best friend and wants me in his life, but doesn't want to date officially. Link to post Share on other sites
michiganmale27 Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 First of all, how old are you two? To me, at least from my experiences, I have broken things off with girls in the past due to getting cold feet. OR, I have also turned down dates in the past, where girls asked me out because of the fact that I was scared of winding up being hurt. Now, obviously this guy thinks the world of you. Why else would he have contacted you, text message, email, and brought you books over with the most famous of all coping foods...Ice Cream? The best advice you can get, is just to reassure this guy about your feelings, don't pressure, blah blah blah, same advice you read on all of these posts. I am positive things will work out between the two of you. Good luck, hang in there kiddo! Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 well, are YOU OK with him being in your life, but not dating you? If not, just let him know - and either he'll go back to dating you, or he'll say no & you'll say BYE and move on ... Just don't let him think dating you is something he can easily get back whenever he likes. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author wynnie Posted July 16, 2003 Author Share Posted July 16, 2003 We are both 27. He and I have been friends off and on since high school. He is my closest friend. I can't imagine not having him in my life, but I need time to transition to just friends. He is not making it easy for me. And the way he keeps contacting is just so confusing to me. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 if he says he doesn't wanna be attached at 27... do you think he'll ever be able to committ to you? or will you be able to date others while still being friends with him? -yes Link to post Share on other sites
michiganmale27 Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 Let me give a male perspective here, and I have a question for the ladies here as well. Guys are going to "commit"/propose when they feel the time is right. I am 27 as well, and had been dating a girl that was 26. We had been dating I would say for about 10 months, and I get the word slipped out that her friend tells me that she is wondering why I haven't "propsed" to her yet. Let me say one thing ladies, guys usually want to wait for the perfect time to propose to their significant other. I had planned on either of three dates this year...1. her b-day which would have been next week...2. in the Smokey's had we gone down south this summer, or 3. in Las Vegas. However, as I have posted before, things didn't quite work out that way. The jury MIGHT still be out on that one, but I am not holding breath. Question for you ladies is this, why do you want to pressure guys so much into commitments/engagements? I was VERY happy with this girl, and was as committed as committed could be without the necessity of dropping $2,500 for a ring I could not quite afford yet due to Graduate School. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wynnie Posted July 16, 2003 Author Share Posted July 16, 2003 I never pushed for marriage or an engagement. He was always the one who brought it up. We went out of town 4th of July weekend and had a great time. His aunt told me he was 'glowing' when he got back. He went with me this past Sunday to visit my grandma in the hospital. Then Monday night this. But he keeps calling, emailing and text messaging me. I asked him to stop and that I need time away from him before trying friendship with him. He was upset and said fine, he wouldn't bother me that he would wait for me to contact him. I told him that is what I need right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Nazima Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 What the heck is this? He says he doesn't want to date, that he just wants to be friends, and then he's getting all close with the hugging and kissing? He's definitely sending out some very mixed signals here, what does he want? To have his cake - or ice cream - and eat it too? He needs to get it straight in his own head what exactly he wants, is it friendship or a relationship. Until then I say cool it with this guy and avoid any intimate contact, because until he makes up his mind he's just leading you on and you're gonna get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
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