independent Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 Advices are more often than not words that are easier said than done. I've got good friends to cheer me up when i'm in my lowest stage. But before they would even tell me the usual "feel good" advices, I already have it in my mind. The problem lies only on how to start what... I have a terrible 6-month bf/gf relationship. I'm older than him..his parents dont like me..we are a lot different in many ways..it's like i am on top and he's just starting- career-wise, relationship-wise and his family is the so-called "struggling financially" type. i am the opposite..i am doing good career-wise..can support myself financially and have a good family breeding though we are the average ones. first, i dont know why his mother dislikes me, maybe bec. i have a very independent aura that she can't control. his family dislikes me even if im not doing anything bad coz i am a friendly, humanitarian person. it seems that what their mom would say is the final decision. she would always talk behind my back. our relationship is so complicated. it came to a point wherein i would argue with my bf (now my ex) bec, i caught him 5 times (cheating on me by courting other girls on the phone. i always get proofs easily coz i am good at it. it's always a "forgive you now & forgive you again repetitive relationship". then his family came into picture again, saying nasty words..cursing me, talking bad things in front and behind me (for no reason at all).. i finally got mad, i fought the " all talk battle"..i am actually sick (not healthy) and things like these could kill me. they know that but they dont care. i think my bf is the confused one. he cheats on me yet he wont let me go but he's caught in the middle (his family and me)..i ended the relationship on the 6th month. he tried talking to me and asking me if we could still be friends until the next day i found out that he is "again" calling up the other girl he used to call when we were an item. during the week when i broke up with him. (with a reasonable issue of course) naturally, that would end it all..i mean even the friendship...how can i even survive in that messy family...this time all i wanted is "respect"..if they can't give it to me..then i will give it to myself. the pain, the betrayal is still here in my system...it's not that easy to erase. what i do now is read inspirational booklets, positive things that would make me realize my true worth...making me realize that being alone now is the best thing that i have ever done. yes, i do want to call him up sometimes, just to let him know how bad he is or how bad his family is...but God stops me. He is the only One who can help people like us. People who are so hurt . We need guidance and that can only be given to us by our faith in God. I am hurt..i miss the guy who lowered my self-esteem during our time ......but tomorrow...the past will just be "the past". there's no turning back..we should always know when to say "enough". God Bless Everybody! It is never too late to forgive and be a good example. love is a battlefield but it's not your end. Link to post Share on other sites
Nazima Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 Congratulations! You've done the only thing you could do to save yourself from what looks like to me to be a completely disasterous relationship. If being with this guy was damaging your self-esteem, ruining your health, and causing you pain through his thoughtless and uncaring cheating, then you are better off by far without him, not to mention his family! I applaud you!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Cpunch75 Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 This guy is a stale pretzel that no girl is gonna want to snatch up once she's heard your story. Consider yourself fortunate to have the ability to end the relationship when you have had enough. This guy isn't even worth getting you down. cheated on you 5 times? and you feel "down"? like it's your fault the relationship is this way? no, It has nothing to do with you. the guy is a scumbag and so is his family:) Punch Link to post Share on other sites
Author independent Posted July 17, 2003 Author Share Posted July 17, 2003 thanks for the replies from Nazima & cpunch75! it was sad today coz after all that i've said and done i still tried calling him up. i even heard him say, no, i don't want to talk to her!...now it made me so stupid coz why did i even do that when it's a known fact that he's the one who did wrong to me. maybe it's part of it...( i don't think i miss him) it's like there's some questions inside me that seeks an answer.. and it seems like i want him to do that...to apologize... to show me that he's sorry for what he did(and his family too). i know he could be mad at me for when he gets on my nerves i really shout out him (he deserves it anyway...forgive me Lord) i don't know why i did what i did, i mean call him up still...i didn't want to argue, i just want answers...i want him to reflect and be sorry. am i stupid? maybe. after which i cried...hurt still...maybe from it all...but i didn't cry coz he's out of my life. i cried for me. i still couldn't believe myself that this terrible thing happened to me. not me. anyway, it's really hard when you're at home at the end of the day and it's like it's so quiet..and you got used to seeing him after work...you're used to talking to him on the phone. getting used to all the positive things..but then again, the bad things will surface and it will make you cry again and again...i'd ask myself what is the tears for?... when it's obvious, he's not worth it... Link to post Share on other sites
Cpunch75 Posted July 17, 2003 Share Posted July 17, 2003 The dipturd isn't going to give you answers sweetheart:( "i don't know why i did what i did, i mean call him up still...i didn't want to argue, i just want answers...i want him to reflect and be sorry. am i stupid? maybe." I wish I had answers for my breakups, but I never got them and felt cheated like you do. Punch Link to post Share on other sites
Nazima Posted July 17, 2003 Share Posted July 17, 2003 Of course he's sorry - one sorry SOB. You don't need him and you don't need to put yourself through extra heartbreak and anguish by contacting him. Steer clear of this guy, mourn the loss of the good times, but remember also the way horrible way he treated you. Put it behind you, not always easy to do, but get on with your life. You need to remember that you are a special and unique person and don't let yourself be dragged down by memories. Find happiness in valuing yourself, then you will find someone who will value you just as much! Be glad this guy and his rotten family are no longer part of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
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