I'm starving myself

[trueloveexists]

First of all, I want to say that i'm not proud of this.

 

I'm starving myself. Not because I think i'm fat or need to lose weight, but because i'm depressed. The thought of food makes me sick to my stomach.

 

In the past 3 days i've eaten: 1 cracker, a small bite of a scone, 3 chicken nuggets and 1 strawberry.

 

Earlier today, I was beginning to feel very weak and lifting anything (doesn't matter how light or heavy) is a challenge. When i'm lying down resting, my heart will begin to beat very fast every now and then. I tried to eat something earlier, but I just can't..

 

I've lost 6 pounds in a span of 3 days. I'm 20, about 5'4" and use to be 117 lbs and now i'm down to 111 lbs.

 

What will happen in the near future if I can't eat?

[Kamille]

I lose my appetite when I am very upset about something and struggled with it after my first heartbreak. I had to force myself to eat for three weeks and to remind myself to eat for months.

 

What happened? Why are you depressed?

 

Have you had an episode like this before?

 

Have you starved yourself before?

[trueloveexists]

Break-up with a boyfriend of 2 years. I've never starved myself before (other for than a few days when I was 13 because I was going through an awkward phase), but no..i've never had an episode like this before. There's no way to explain how upset I am.

[Kamille]

It sounds like what I went through after my first big heartbreak. I just read your other posts.

 

It's normal to have a few days where you have a tough time eating. Forgive yourself about that one. However, eating definitely helps to curtail depression, so here are a few things that helped me:

 

1. Fried food. Yup. For some reason I couldn't eat sandwiches or salad, but I was capable of eating fries. Your body needs energy, so any form it gets is good.

 

2. I ate out of smaller plates. I used side plates and would basically serve myself smaller portions of what I would have normally eaten. That way I got a little bit of every food group and didn't feel like I couldn't get through the meal.

 

3. Smoothies, juices, etc. Try this one: put one banana in a blender with a cup of frozen strwberries. Add apple juice to cover. Whirl. I found it easier to drink then to eat.

 

Your appetite will eventually get back to normal, most likely before your heart fully heals.

 

Heartbreaks are tough, but you will learn a lot about yourself in the process, a lot of it changing you for the better.

[MalachiX]

I'm sorry about the loss of your relationship but the starving yourself is just a temporary thing unless you let it become something more (which you obviously shouldn't).

 

Just keep feeding yourself things that are easy on your stomach and try to get some nutrients in. Keep up with the crackers, toast, smoothies (or Slurpees), coffee, and try to force yourself to eat some more nutritious things. Perhaps think of your favorite food in the world and give that a whirl. Spoil yourself.

[Ocean-Blue]

TLE, have you tried protein shakes or any food in the form of a liquid?

 

Boost has some pretty good meal replacement drinks. Their chocolate flavoured drink is awesome (when nicely chilled).

 

Have you seen your family doctor about this? Are your family and friends aware of what's going on?

[justagirlforever]

Been there plenty a time. When I'm sick with worry, fear or heartache, I don't eat - just can't eat. Sometimes even drinking is difficult and my throat just closes up and I feel like throwing up when swallowing something.

It's almost like it's trying to starve yourself of emotion too. But I'm better with stuff like that these days

Good luck and just try to have something little and easy. A glass of milk etc. Because starvation does indeed accentuate "depression".

[Kamille]

The best thing out there to help regulate appetite is exercise. You haven't eaten much in the last few days, so you probably don't feel too energetic, but you could just drop in a Yoga class or go for a walk.

 

The good thing is that exercise also releases endorphins, which will help you acheive a filling of serenity. Eventually.

 

If you are worried about creating deficiencies, you could add a multivitamin to your diet.

 

I just want to hug you TLE. You will be ok. Remember that your priority is your well-being and that your hopes for reconcilation should stop where your well-being and your self-esteem start to be affected.

[laRubiaBonita]

What will happen in the near future if I can't eat?

 

well, you lose bone mass which will incresae your risk of osteoperosis

 

you are probably dehydrating yourself as well, which effects your electrolytes- which can put you at a higher risk for a heart attack, among other things.

 

also with no food, your body will starrt to break itself down, eventually you lose muscle mass, you will not get your period, your brain will actually begin to get smaller.

 

i was really sick with anorexia... i was so weak i could not walk, i was so dehydrated that my cerebellum shrank, theyu could not even take my blood the first day or two in the hospital because of how dehydrtated i was.

 

you will soon start to fixate on food, this kind of deprivation really will take hold of your psyche.

 

also you will screw up your digestive system

[whichwayisup]

You need to seek treatment and talk to someone to help you with this depression so it doesn't get worse and lead to an even more serious eating disorder.

 

I am sorry to hear you're in pain, please talk to your family and get help.

[Amy22]

I went through this when my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me and cheated on me. I beg you to not let it go any farther and force yourself to eat more. Even if you take one bite every five minutes. To make a long story short I ended up having to go to an eating disorder clinic because I didn't stop it in the beginning when I could. It lasted for over a year. It hurt me so badly. I don't ever want to be in that spot again. Please don't do this to yourself. You have to stop it now or it will only get worse. If you want to talk more about it pm me. I am worried about you. I don't want anyone to go through what I went through. Try to eat your favorite foods. Even if it takes you an hour to finish a small plate. Just take one bite at a time. Good Luck Amy