Older guys?

[nymphetgrown]

Disclaimer: I have just come off two performances in a row -- of a play; get your minds out of the gutter -- and am tired and smeared with greasepaint. I will try to "stay lovely", as one of my cast members puts it.

 

Interesting. Well, how about a neutral name, like mine or anyone elses on this thread. Believe it or not, your screenname says worlds about you.

 

I didn't think of that, and I probably should have. Damage done, though, unless name changes are a dime a dozen...?

 

Actually, it was a pretty easy guess. But fair enough. The more I think about it, you're right, you probably won't ever be able to relate to someone your age given your life circumstances and I can't fault you for that.

 

Thank you. No, seriously. I'm an odd duck. Trying to pretend I'm anywhere near normal has always ended disastrously. Trust me, I tried.

 

However, you seem intelligent and introspective enough to realize that being a 22 year old and dating professors is not healthy or realistic.

 

Not my own, and not any that I plan to take classes from at any point. When I call them friends, I mean just that: friends. People I can eat with, talk to about our school's issues, and trade opinions with on aspects of the work we love. People I've shared a stage with, even.

 

Maybe it's my chosen majors -- English and theatre -- because I've never heard of science or math students connecting with their faculty in such a way.

 

I also take offense to the fact that all people our age (I'm 25) party and do drugs. I put myself through college and grad school and never partook in said activities (aside from the occaisional drink).

 

It's just what I've seen of them. Also, it's not an all-or-nothing proposition. I know there are exceptions to the rule.

 

You're 22, you don't know s**t - I don't care what life experiences you've been through.

 

And you, at 25, are so much wiser, so very different?

 

Your brain is not even fully developed yet.

 

At least it lets me think critically about our social norms and challenge the status quo.

 

Go talk to your psych professor about that.

 

I'm sure she'll be happy to enlighten me.

 

(And did you really reference the war?)

 

As the daughter of a veteran, who himself now works for the V.A., and as a woman whose earliest memories are of the last Gulf War, yes. I bloody well did.

 

To what end are you chasing these professors and older men?

 

To see if I'll finally get along with someone special and not feel like his mother!

 

You are aware of the taboo among professors in regards to having relationships with students, right?

 

Read the school rules, agonized over it with my therapist, etc. Came to a decision as to what I would do if faced with such an attraction to a professor at my school.

 

I'm actually interested in what field you are pursuing?

 

It's a bit of a work-in-progress. I'm hoping for my B.A. in English with a Creative Writing concentration, then an M.F.A. in Creative Writing, focusing on writing for stage and screen. I would love to adapt a novel or ten for the BBC -- dream job, of course; most likely I'll end up a professor myself. The M.F.A. is the terminal degree in this case, so unless I want to drop the cash for Cornell's Ph.D. in Creative Writing, I'll be good to go in about five years.

 

Due to those pesky "life experiences", I'm taking my sweet time.

 

Ok, in all sincerity, I do wish you well. I sound harsh, but the road you are going down...well the odds are against you. You're definately smart intellectually, but the questionable side is your emotions.

 

And I certainly don't exist to please anyone, but I hope I've eased some of your worries. I'm not a reckless sort of person. I ask questions before I step onto the deviant side of things. I'm not trawling the local dating scene for divorcés or anything. It's just an openness to another set of possibilities, and a desire for a different sort of relationship.

[nymphetgrown]

I'm very interested in this nuance. Have you explored the reasons for your perspective?

 

I haven't had a chance to do so. I suppose I like being able to talk with my lovers. (Word used to denote someone who is not a "boyfriend" -- miserable word if he's over thirty! -- but not a committed partner.) I'm also attracted to creativity and change; nowt so lovely as a dynamic world, one that moves with the times.

[nymphetgrown]

OP, you might find that partying and shaking it on the dance floor isn't for you now...but...once you've had a real taste of it, might change your mind. An older man in the same stage as you, is no big deal, I think. When you switch stages, what happens to him? Something to consider.

 

I am only wincing because I cannot dance.

 

The bar scene doesn't hold very many attractions for me. I don't drink because a) I'd be flat on the floor in three shots and b) my liver would rise up in revolt. I really do look like an idiot when I attempt to boogie. My idea of good music isn't so much techno or rap as Mozart or the Moody Blues. (Now, dancing at a Moodies concert, that's fun!) Given the choice between a night of bar-hopping and spare time to write, I'll take the latter.

 

Besides, the music is too loud in a typical club for a good, long conversation.

[nymphetgrown]

Also a relationship with an older person might give her the experience to know what she does and doesn't want in a man. It's all about learning...and i'm guessing at 22 she's not looking to settle down and get married with the next guy she ends up with.

 

Sort of. I'm not averse to a long-term relationship that might eventually end in commitment (marriage, handfasting, etc). The likelihood is a lot lower right now, and I'm not actively putting myself out there ("MARRIAGE OR BUST!!!1!1"), but if it happens that way, then it happens.

 

I should also point out that my closest childhood friend is engaged and three other girls I went to school with have been married longer than a year. Weird but true.

 

Young women tend to go for older men for the greater chance they will be treated better 'like a lady'...

 

I wouldn't say that's the default, but it's something I look for.

[nymphetgrown]

From what I read here.. she is a very mature and intelligent young woman.

 

Aww, thanks, Lizzie. Congratulations to your daughter, too.

[Lizzie60]

Aww, thanks, Lizzie. Congratulations to your daughter, too.

 

Thanks.. I am sooo proud of her..

[dogtown]

Maybe it's my chosen majors -- English and theatre -- because I've never heard of science or math students connecting with their faculty in such a way.

 

Ooooh. I have a profound love of both. I was a thesbian in high school and have my M.A. and B.A. in History right now. Good choices.

 

 

And you, at 25, are so much wiser, so very different?

 

Not really, but, I'm not trying to date older - and when I say "older" I mean a generational difference - or am I claiming to have experienced everything life has to offer.

 

 

At least it lets me think critically about our social norms and challenge the status quo.

 

I hope you always do. Too bad dating older profs isn't worthy of either (breaking social norms or challenging the status quo).

 

 

I'm sure she'll be happy to enlighten me.

 

BTW...when you're 25 your brain is fully developed. Just like me!

 

As the daughter of a veteran, who himself now works for the V.A., and as a woman whose earliest memories are of the last Gulf War, yes. I bloody well did.

 

Settle down. My Dad's a Vietnam vet and I too remember the 3 month long first Gulf War (where we lost more men to friendly fire/accidents than the enemy) and feel no propensity to reference any war in the LS forums. You do. Fine, but it's still ridiculous.

 

 

To see if I'll finally get along with someone special and not feel like his mother!

 

I met my ex in undergrad while we were taking our senior thesis class. We first struck up conversation because we both had an intense passion for the Renaissance and Erasmus. People with similar interests, passions, and maturity levels are there in college...don't be clouded by your exclusive attitude of "older guys only".

 

Part of me thinks you are attracted to profs because they are approachable (every prof loves talking about the subject they have spent their life studying) and your interest in them can be shrowded in an academic discussion. It's a little more daunting to approach a peer in your creative writing class! I've been there!

 

 

Read the school rules, agonized over it with my therapist, etc. Came to a decision as to what I would do if faced with such an attraction to a professor at my school.

 

Hahahah. Well that's good at least.

 

It's a bit of a work-in-progress. I'm hoping for my B.A. in English with a Creative Writing concentration, then an M.F.A. in Creative Writing, focusing on writing for stage and screen. I would love to adapt a novel or ten for the BBC -- dream job, of course; most likely I'll end up a professor myself. The M.F.A. is the terminal degree in this case, so unless I want to drop the cash for Cornell's Ph.D. in Creative Writing, I'll be good to go in about five years.

 

I'm jealous. Those classes sound really interesting and fun. Make the most of them...you seem like someone who will.

 

 

And I certainly don't exist to please anyone,

 

I know you don't

 

but I hope I've eased some of your worries. I'm not a reckless sort of person. I ask questions before I step onto the deviant side of things. I'm not trawling the local dating scene for divorcés or anything. It's just an openness to another set of possibilities, and a desire for a different sort of relationship.

 

This is key. When you put it like this you sound so much more level headed.

 

I'm glad I've been able to engage in further discussion with you (despite the intesity at times).

 

Best of luck.

[MoonlightLover]

Well, well, well...sorted.

[Green]

Do you weigh more then 160?

[MoonlightLover]

Not starting an argument, just curious what weight has to do with this thread?

[Green]

Well I think there are about four different types of girls that go after older guys... and thicker girls are one of those types..... well the four different types arent strictly seperate either a girl can be more than one... (1) Heavier girls (2) Daddies girls (3) No Daddy, or bad relations with (4) Girl who likes nice thing$

[nymphetgrown]

Well I think there are about four different types of girls that go after older guys... and thicker girls are one of those types..... well the four different types arent strictly seperate either a girl can be more than one... (1) Heavier girls (2) Daddies girls (3) No Daddy, or bad relations with (4) Girl who likes nice thing$

 

Firstly: I have no desire to date a man like my father. Too crude by far, and utterly feckless at times. That said? We get along rather well. So both (2) and (3) could be true.

 

Secondly: I will admit to an appreciation for nice clothes, and let's face it, a girl with a size five foot has to look el$ewhere for shoes , but when I have money, I spend it according to my means and not my wants. Don't know if that puts your mind to rest regarding (4).

 

Thirdly: 4'11". 90 lbs. Just enough boobage to give me a great figure in a sundress. Nice try on (1).