Baldy Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 Quick History: - I was seeing this women a few weeks when she broke it off, she said she was scared. Anyway while I was on holiday a couple of weeks later she starting texting my mobile phone, asking if we could give it another go. When I got back off holiday, we met up and started again. We were going out for a few months when she broke it off again!!! This came as a massive surprise as we seemed so happy and she would tell me that she was falling for me etc and that she was really happy... That was three weeks ago, and guess what?... She has text me again! Anyway after her texting me a few times I finally responded a couple of days later saying that I wouldn't be drawn into a text conversation but if she wanted to talk I would ring her in a day or two. I did ring her and we spoke on the phone for nearly two hours. Basically she wants us to go away for a weekend somewhere (somewhere neutral) so we can see if we can possibly reconcile the relationship. I told her how I felt about her doing what she did TWICE and that I wasn't a mug, but have agreed to go away very soon to see what happens. She says that she was scared again because she has never been out with someone who cared for her so much, was romantic, treated her like a lady and gave her everything she wanted. She said this scared her off but now she wants to see if we can have a future. I don't understand why if you want something so much and it is exactly what you are after, why you would run away from it? Surely you would grab it with both hands!!! She also said that I am not the usual type she goes for and that scared her too because she couldn't understand why. Has anybody got any opinions on this? I am worried that when we go away I will feel like I am on an interview, as she broke it off and she wants to see if we have a future. I know I am being a bit of a mug but what if she is the 'one' and I end up always thinking about what could have been! Is it better to have tried and failed then to spend the rest of your life always wondering? Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 Cold feet? Give it a shot, but this is the LAST time. If she runs off again, never talk to her again. by the way, the exact quote is "life is what happens while you're busy making other plans" - John Lennon -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Nazima Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 she is lacking self-esteem. You may be the perfect guy, but if she subconsciously feels that she is undeserving then she will probably end up sabotaging the relationship in some way, perhaps without even realizing that she is doing so. Maybe she has a hard time believing that she deserves to be treated so well, and she's afraid that you will change. Has she been hurt in the past? Sometimes that can damage a person's faith in others to the point where they don't trust anyone enough to let them get close, and when someone starts to get close they run away rather than be hurt all over again. Perhaps you two can talk it out? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Baldy Posted July 17, 2003 Author Share Posted July 17, 2003 Thank you Nazima, that has made it a little bit clearer to why she is doing what she is doing. You're right, she has been hurt before and her self esteem is pretty damn low. She had mentioned to me that she finds it hard to trust people and that something always goes wrong. She also said that in the past she hasn't felt she could completely trust them, but with me she could straight away but she couldn't explain why. I did get the feeling at the time that this did unnerve her slightly. Don't worry 'Yes' this will be her last chance. I can't go through life wondering when she would suddenly pop up or when she would get cold feet and run... AGAIN! Changed my signature BTW Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts