I'm thinking she still likes me

[yagottahelp]

I got a letter in the mail yesterday from my ex from 2 months ago. We've remained close, but just friends. No friends with benefits or anything like that. I have been good in not saying anything about us since the week after we broke up. We still talk often even though she has moved, so i've been going with the flow.......I just need an opinion

 

In the letter she wrote a bunch of stuff of how much she missed me and couldn't wait for me to come visit her and she wrote "hug" seven times, she said once for everyday we couldn't talk and continued on a little and signed it.......then she circled on the paper and said smell this. It's perfume she hasn't worn since we dated for a few months freshman year of high school. We're now juniors in college.......

 

I'm trying not to get too excited, I know it's little, but just seems like too much for someone that's not interested right now. The entire time we've acted closer than bestfriends as she calls it.......but i think this crosses the line in my eyes, i'm thinking she still likes me.......that the space we've created has helped to lessen the feelings she had of being too consumed with someone and missing out on some things.

 

what do u think??

[Tony T]

I think she's playing deadly games with you. This often happens after a break up, when somebody may be having difficulty adjusting. Should you ask her to get back together, that would be such music to her ears because it would allay her insecurities...but she probably wouldn't be interested. The more coy you play it, the more she will come on to you.

 

If she's all that interested, let her mention things. If I were you, I would try to minimize her games by playing them off...not even acknowledging them. In my opinion, she's being a real bitch by teasing you like this. Don't let her have so much control over your life.

[yagottahelp]

Thanks tony, my first reaction was to send something back.......but i was like no, that's exactly what someone would want, something back- so i didn't do it, glad i caught myself. SHe' not running my life, but of course I would like to get back together at some point.

 

I'm going to see her next week for about 4 days, I should mention the trip was planned before hand, i'm not going cuz she said she wanted me to, seeing what happens now that we've been apart for a month and haven't talked at all for a week, which to most isn't much, but for our friendship and such it's an eternity.......see what happens.

[jalexy]

WHY did yall break up?? im just wondering about all this hear. i mean to me, you sound like you both want one another. but i mean why did it end. theres a catch here, im waiting for it=).

[yagottahelp]

It's kind of a story, I'll truncate it a little bit.......

 

Although it's no excuse, most of the turmoil happened when my father was furloughed, she found out hers was and had to move this summer, and her mother was very ill. Between that, there was much stress, and we proved we still need to grow up a little at least, because we didn't handle it well.

 

I don't know much, I do know that it seems some of it is her being afraid she can't have me as a bf and still have her life. It seems that she thinks she's missing out on things at college because we were with each other a lot. And she isn't wrong, both of us tended to spend time with each other a lot more than others, passing up on oppurtunities to meet others.

 

I think maybe by me being her "bestfriend" it's a way in her head to know she can show she still loves me, but thinks it will reduce the feelings inside somehow of her feeling she always has to be with me, i mean she still talks about getting together and married etc.......and she doesn't just talke like we'll be friends and bestfriends, as an excuse, she has acted like it, hanging out a ton, always talking, it's like nohting has changed other than being intimate.

 

I'm writing a lot of this off to the fact her mom was very sick, she's getting better now though, and her anxiety from moving from her childhood home.......i don't feel like i am ruining my life for wiating this out, if she didn't still love me, i wouldn't still be this close to her-when i'm with her it's wonderful, if she was using me, that isn't her at all, but just to quell the arguements, she's doing a damn good job of forcinug herself to take advantage of me.......it's just too natural to be orchestrated.

 

Hope that answered your question.

[jalexy]

Thats nice and all, but man, this is ridiculous. either she wants to be with you or she doesnt. if she loved you, she would want to be with you, hands down. ppl that love and want to be with one another dont break up because they are missing chances to meet other ppl- they have already found the one they want. and so what if you were spending alot of time together-isnt that what you are supposed to do?

man, i feel bad for you. this is all crap she is doing to you. the thing that got me the most is "she doesnt know if she can have me and have her life too..." that in itself is a bye bye girly see you later- that is what you should say.

[yagottahelp]

I guess I wasn't clear, we broke up because it was too stressful with everything in our lives. I would take my stress out on her, her's on mine too the point where we felt so overwhelmed with it that we felt more like each others parents than a bf and gf. The situation has changed, but I understand she might be afraid of trying again. For example, if you spent most of everyday with someone, wouldn't you feel smothered? I'm sure eventually you would, it caught up with us, and it was a knee jerk reaction with everything else.

 

What you said is right, if you love someone, you're there with each other, and that's what we are. I know it's hard to explain in words, if you see it, you'd understand- i've had her mom, my mom, friends, family, all say congrats on being together-everyone sees it but her i guess.

 

As for having me and her friends in her life, that' just my words, I have no clue what she's thinking, and nor do i think she does.......I'm not into giving up on people, unless they give up on me, and as of yet, she hasn't.

 

I'm the only constant thing in her life right now, I'm ok now, sure I'm perplexed, but I'm doing pretty good with it, I'd be a lot worse knowing I had turned my back on someone I love when they needed me.