avw911 Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Hey all I am new here and I have been reading all your posts for a week or so. I need some help. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years now. We usually see each other every 5-6 mo or so but this time it has been 8 and we still dont know when we will see each other next. He is in the USMC in North Carolina and I am 3000 miles away going to college. My question is I feel like I am smothering him, everytime we talk I talk about how long its been since we saw each other or I tell him the same things over and over about the trip we are planning in Sept. I know it hurts him to know I am hurting and missing him so much but I feel like I cant help it. I feel like all my extra time is spent on here or other sites trying to figure out how to cope with this LDR even though I feel fine otherwise. I just dont want to hurt him anymore, what can I do to calm myself down!?! Thanks for your time "Contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough" Link to post Share on other sites
Miad's Princess Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 How are you hurting him by talking about the times you are gonna spend together? You would think this would make him happy no matter how much you discuss it. If this is your personality then do you really need to change? Has he ever said it's causing a problem for you both or him? Link to post Share on other sites
Eilonwy Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 How are you hurting him by talking about the times you are gonna spend together? Same question. Are you sure it hurts him? Of course he may feel sorry for you and be a bit sad because he can't make you feel better, but at the same time it should be a nice feeling for him to know how much you care and that you're looking forward to it so much. Ask him (if you haven't already) how much it really bothers him when you do that. If it does bother him, you might have to cut it down a bit... but you should be allowed to mention it whenever you feel strongly about it! And he might also miss it if you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 My question is I feel like I am smothering him, everytime we talk I talk about how long its been since we saw each other or I tell him the same things over and over about the trip we are planning in Sept. I know it hurts him to know I am hurting and missing him so much but I feel like I cant help it. Why do you feel that way and how do you know it hurts him? Methinks there might be a bit of unwarranted projection going on here. I do know active duty wives who constantly (as much as sat phone and e-mail will allow) communicate with their husbands at duty stations overseas. A good female friend's daughter had their first baby while her husband was aboard ship during an 8 month deployment. Trust me, they talked (and shared pictures) a lot. I wouldn't be too concerned. Ask your BF how it is from his end and listen to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author avw911 Posted April 6, 2008 Author Share Posted April 6, 2008 Ok I guess I didnt really explain that well. I feel like I am constantly talking about how much I miss him and constantly talking about the same things ( the details of our trip) that he will not want to talk to me because its the same thing over and over and over. I also know that it makes him sad that he cant be here for me and so I feel bad when I tell him how much I miss him all the time because I know he knows I miss him. Oh boy, I think I just do too much thinking and too much talking sometimes. Thanks for listening and thanks for your replies Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 Trust me, he loves to hear your voice. You could read the phone book to him and he wouldn't care Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 Trust me, he loves to hear your voice. You could read the phone book to him and he wouldn't care Oh you old romantic you..... avw911, it doesn't sound to me like you are smothering him, that would be some feat from 3,000 miles away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author avw911 Posted April 6, 2008 Author Share Posted April 6, 2008 Oh you old romantic you..... avw911, it doesn't sound to me like you are smothering him, that would be some feat from 3,000 miles away. Hahaha this is something I really need to remember, THANK YOU Aww thank you everyone. I love this place because all I do is over think all the little things I say and I never realize how silly I am being til I tell it to someone else. So thank you all for helping me see I am not that bad after all. Hope everyone is doing well, hopefully talk to you soon, Thanks again!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Eilonwy Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 I still think you should ask him. But good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author avw911 Posted April 7, 2008 Author Share Posted April 7, 2008 So I asked him.... And you ALL were right, he said I was being crazy and just laughed and said I need to relax, which I already knew but I just needed to hear it, I hate how I over think things so much, it makes me seem like a crazy person but sometimes I think LDRs make people a little crazy Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 All right... wow, is that a first for LS? See, told you so, , Enjoy. Link to post Share on other sites
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