The usual 'falling for a friend' issue *again* - !

[alex80]

I bet this has been asked the world over but I have this issue about falling for a friend. I could really do with a little advice before I start tearing my hair out!

 

I'm male, 27 and in the UK. When I was 20 I lived and worked with a Canadian girl (18 years old) for a year. She had to go back to Canada when her Gap year was over.

 

Towards the end of our year we became intimate one night. We were both totally unsure about what was going on and the next day we decided to stay friends instead. I wasn't sure whether I actually was in love with her. One thing that prevented me from telling her how I felt before was the fact she had to leave the UK.

 

We have kept in touch by email and been chatting online for 8 years now and remained friends. However, last week I visited her in France where she has been working for 3 months on a teacher training placement.

 

I went to France with a strong feeling we were best friends, and for most of my stay there I felt good being her friend. Half way through my visit, however, I started falling for her.

 

Ive had several relationships in the 8 years and have been a bit disillusioned with relationships because I feel I've never really been in love. We had some pretty intimate conversations and I told her how I felt about my previous relationships.

 

I realised how much I like this girl and how very close to her I feel. I have a very different feeling with this girl, like I want to spend the rest of my life with her. We even flippantly said that if we weren't married in 10 years we would get married... I also said that I feel she is my soulmate, though I noticed she kind of said in a rather awkward way that we were 'soulfriends'.

 

When I was in France we were talking about a guy she knows who is her friend and fell for her, but she said it wasn't really what she was looking for. This guy is now distancing himself from her and now I'm scared I am going to do this if I tell her how I feel and she responds the same way.

 

I am totally upset about the whole situation and miss this girl so much now. She will be leaving back for Canada in a few weeks. I've been invited to visit her in Canada and she really wants to see me again. I'm also scared of letting my emotions run wild, and straining the bond we have.

 

Tonight, we talked on Skype and she said she wanted me to escort her to her brother's wedding in the summer. She said that several other guys had asked to go with her. I told her that she was making me jealous and I think I made her feel a bit awkward when I said this.

 

I just don't know what to do or what to say to her. I have to say something.

 

Is there anyone who has some advice?

 

P.S. Sorry about the length of this post!