friendship survey

[Patty]

When a friend moves away,do you think there is such a possiblity that they will keep in touch if the two of you were close enough?

 

Patty:I think if your close to your friend or if they were close enough to you, they will do their best to keep in touch.

 

Do friends just fade away?

 

Patty:In my opinion,they dont if you dont let them.If you try to get an address to write to, then theres a bigger possibilty.I believe you can do anything you put your mind to.

 

What should you do to keep your friendship strong?

 

Patty:I think the best thing would be to keep in touch with that person by keeping them updated with the recent events in your life and also swapping pictures would really keep the friendship stronger,I think.

 

Would like to hear some opinions with these questions.

 

Thanks.

 

Patty

[quankanne]

When a friend moves away, do you think there is such a possiblity that they will keep in touch if the two of you were close enough?

-- yes

 

Do friends just fade away?

-- only the fair-weather ones!

 

What should you do to keep your friendship strong?

-- be a good friend, period. I think it's the quality of a relationship you have with someone that helps it survive time and distance apart, that lets you just pick up right where you left off, even if it's been weeks or months since you've last spoken.

[jalexy]

yes, my mother and her friend live in separate states and have remained friends for about 20 years. i would actually say their friendship is fading now.

so yes, if you work hard, stay in touch and go see one another, it will work. most friendships, i woudl think though, would die.

[Just A Girl2]

Yes, I believe if a friend moves away you should try to maintain the friendship and keep in touch, as much as realistically possible.

 

However, Patty.....just like that one girl who'd worked where you do, who moved to Spain, and this one now....I didn't and don't get the impression that these gals were/are really close friends...more just work acquaintances. Maybe you are going a bit overboard, particularly with this recent one.....all the gifts you bought her, giving her a hug and kiss on her last day, now very intently wanting to write her a letter. Judging by her response, that you shared here (she was asking you WHY you'd given her all those gifts), if you're really so gung-ho to maintain contact with her, and you 2 really weren't really close friends; friends that kept contact outside of work/did things together outside of work, etc., she's liable to think you're obsessed with her. Generally people don't rush out and buy gifts for someone who leaves (moves away/quits) the workplace...unless they've worked together for a considerable amount of time and are very close.

 

Be careful that your interest in these ex coworkers doesn't come across as you being fixated on them, obsessing with them.

 

MOst people when they quit a job and move away or move onto a different job, they move on with their life and don't really keep much contact with ex coworkers..unless they had a REALLY strong relationship with a coworker. I didn't get the impression from your post about this gal (the one who's Indian) that you were really close friends...more that you were just intrigued by the fact that she's Indian.

 

Might be best, as Tony suggested, to focus your time and energies on making good friends with people who actually live in your area, who you can do things with outside of work..not just penpals who may or may not want to correspond/don't see the need.

[Patty]

Thanks.Maybe I just get attached to people.I keep having these thoughts about what could've been and I think thats what Im depressed about.Adjustment is hard for me.

 

She did tell me that day,that she might come back to work there.

 

Patty