Is it me or him?

[hallowground82]

So, i made the mistake of being roommates with my crush. over the last summer, i really did get over it, then we moved in together. After the second month, we got really comfortable around each other. We are both in college and during our 5 week winter break, we basically had the apt to ourselves. Then it began-- the fourplay of rough housing, flirtation, and the occasional touching.... if y'all get the drift. problem is, we never kissed or anything. i told him that i do have a thing for him and that i didnt want to make things awkward. he said nothing changes and that he still loved me.

 

After the new year, I started to really get it bad for him. Hanging out with him constantly was breaking my heart every time he left. Hot and heavy all the time, and we almost had sex, but I just couldn't go through with it. After spring break he comes back and says hes GAY! but i know he cant be. We still fool around all the time and he still says we can still do it. And only certain few know about it- when its girls, he seems fine with them knowing, but anyone male or unknown to him, he clams up.... so whats the deal?

 

The sad part is im in his room right now typing this, bc i have no means of a computer. He's playing his video game. Really, how should I handle this? My emotions are up in the air- some days I could care less, and others I can't let go. Is it me or him?