I can never go out with him and his friends cause they hate me

[Sarah12385]

i'll try to make this as short as i can.

i'm 18, and i'm seeing a 22 year old man, we'll call him Nick. actually, he has been my neighbor for about 5 years, but now lives on his own. i like him a lot 'n he feels the same way, so i hope. sounds all good right? well, of course things are too good to be true...

he has this friend, well, "friend", we'll call her Haley. Haley has been *obsessed* with Nick for about 5 years. now Nick has told Haley many times that there will never be any relationship beyond friendship, which i know is true (personal reasons), but now that i'm with Nick, Haley has to take action. there are now 3 girls, including Haley, who despise me. these girls are supposedly nick's "friends", but they text message him, email him, call him, non-stop, just to make sure he knows how much they hate me and what not. he's confronted them several time about it but they just won't stop. i feel like i am in his way...and that he's losing these so called friends over me. i'm beside myself because i can never go out with him and his friends cause they hate me, mind you they've never even met me, except Haley. but she seems to think i am "a teeny-bopper ditz" which i find very insulting, i don't think i am that way at all.

Nick is getting veeerrry frustrated over this, and i'm real anxious/nervous that he's gonna rbeak this off over them.

:( any advice?

[jalexy]

I am thinking that.......Nick is a grown man and has 3 choices. He can choose his friends over you, he can choose you over his so called friends or he can ask them to compromise. but it seems something else is going on here. there are things missing. why is this haley girl acting this way...if there is nothing missing that you havent told us, then she is just a bad person and she isnt worth anyones time. i would ask him to put an end to this, or you are out of it. ask him to settle them down. dont put yourself in the position where you feel their loss of friendship will be your fault. whatever decision he makes it will be his own.

you do your own thing, get on with your life, put you first.

[Sarah12385]

well no, there's nothing missing.

HOWEVER...

i was online last night. and Haley messaged me last night on AOL instant messenger, going off about how she didn't like me, and how Nick had made it a point to let everyone that i was NT his girlfriend. so, i called Nick right away and read him the message. he said it was bullsht and that it wasn't true. so, i believe him. innocent til proven guilty, yes?

i don't know tho...i just feel like he's not into me anymore.

right now, as i type this, he is 2 houses down from me with his step-mother, has he asked me to see him? no.

[jalexy]

girl, DUMP HIM. girl power! get a new man, move on. speaking of, i need to do that myself...better said than done, yes. good luck

[Sarah12385]

my gosh i want to cry lol.

this sucks so bad....

a phone call would be nice. but, no. maybe i AM just a "teeny bopper:. ahh he's so CUTE tho..... :(

lol

i hate men.

*no offense*

[jalexy]

nah, i dont think age is too much an issue here. i met my ex when i was 18 and he was 22. i just think theres some serious immaturity going on here and i dont think its by you from what i can tell. i am 21 and i dont know any girls that would do what this hailey girl is doing. its pretty damn sad.

[Sarah12385]

well, i just got home from seeing Nick. no okay enough with these fake names lol, his name is Jonathan, and "Haley" is really Joy. but yeah i saw Jonathan tonight, he finally called and asked me to come down.....i think everything's alright.

but

if i find out he's screwin around and whatnot i'm not gonna be a happy camper lol.

he knows right from wrong, and if i lose him over immaturity, it's his loss because i don't need stuff like that. (sorry if that sounded conceited)

[wideawake]

You actually sound pretty sharp.

 

It's his friends that are either conceited or just screw heads.

 

Make sure they don't make you feel bad about yourself. I think your boyfriend should either cut them out of his life, or make it very clear that he is with you now and they can either respect that and treat you well, or get the hell out his life.

 

They're his friends and he should manage the friendships. Tell him to stop being just a yes man and stand up for you strong and hard.