best friend vs. boyfriend... Help!

[Kathy]

I have read tons of these messages, but now when I need help, I have no clue. I could use some advice. I'm 25 and

 

I think I'm in love with my best friend.

 

We are totally compatible, have the same interests and can practicly read each other's mind. We grew up together (since we were 6 yrs old). Nothing physical has ever happened. I have always been a bit jealous of his girlfriends but haven't said anything. I figured he wouldn't be interested in me so why humiliate myself. In my life, the guys who are interested in me, I am not attracted to and the men I am attracted to, only want to be friends with me. Given my track record I never was willing to risk it. He has lived out of state for the last 8 years. We kept in touch as much as possible.

 

Now things have changed, I have reciently found out that I have an extremly rare lung disease. I have been given one to three years to live unless I can get a lung transplant.

 

In the process of working through my feelings, I realixed just how much I love him. Given my prognosis, I'm feeling a bit bolder.

 

I visited him receintly and he was super sweet and very cuddly and friendly. It was torture to be so close and not say anything. He seemed to be flirting, but that is his nature. I don't know if I should tell him how I feel or not. He doesn't have a girlfriend now, so that isn't an issue. How can you tell flirting from being friendly???

 

How would I find out if he feels the same? I am lost. Please help me.

[Jeremy]

I have read tons of these messages, but now when I need help, I have no clue. I could use some advice. I'm 25 and I think I'm in love with my best friend.

 

We are totally compatible, have the same interests and can practicly read each other's mind. We grew up together (since we were 6 yrs old). Nothing physical has ever happened. I have always been a bit jealous of his girlfriends but haven't said anything. I figured he wouldn't be interested in me so why humiliate myself. In my life, the guys who are interested in me, I am not attracted to and the men I am attracted to, only want to be friends with me. Given my track record I never was willing to risk it. He has lived out of state for the last 8 years. We kept in touch as much as possible. Now things have changed, I have reciently found out that I have an extremly rare lung disease. I have been given one to three years to live unless I can get a lung transplant. In the process of working through my feelings, I realixed just how much I love him. Given my prognosis, I'm feeling a bit bolder. I visited him receintly and he was super sweet and very cuddly and friendly. It was torture to be so close and not say anything. He seemed to be flirting, but that is his nature. I don't know if I should tell him how I feel or not. He doesn't have a girlfriend now, so that isn't an issue. How can you tell flirting from being friendly???

 

How would I find out if he feels the same? I am lost. Please help me.

just tell him soon.

[Shirley]

I have read tons of these messages, but now when I need help, I have no clue. I could use some advice. I'm 25 and I think I'm in love with my best friend.

 

We are totally compatible, have the same interests and can practicly read each other's mind. We grew up together (since we were 6 yrs old). Nothing physical has ever happened. I have always been a bit jealous of his girlfriends but haven't said anything. I figured he wouldn't be interested in me so why humiliate myself. In my life, the guys who are interested in me, I am not attracted to and the men I am attracted to, only want to be friends with me. Given my track record I never was willing to risk it. He has lived out of state for the last 8 years. We kept in touch as much as possible. Now things have changed, I have reciently found out that I have an extremly rare lung disease. I have been given one to three years to live unless I can get a lung transplant. In the process of working through my feelings, I realixed just how much I love him. Given my prognosis, I'm feeling a bit bolder. I visited him receintly and he was super sweet and very cuddly and friendly. It was torture to be so close and not say anything. He seemed to be flirting, but that is his nature. I don't know if I should tell him how I feel or not. He doesn't have a girlfriend now, so that isn't an issue. How can you tell flirting from being friendly???

 

How would I find out if he feels the same? I am lost. Please help me.

 

Hi

 

Flirting gives you tingles and makes you feel a bit nervous. Being friendly makes you smile, and you won't get that jittery nervous feeling. How do you feel when this guy touches you? If you're in love with him, you'll feel a tingle every time. You already know how deeply you care for him, and if you also feel the chemistry, you should tell him how you feel about him. You have a lot to deal with right now, and I'm sorry about the disease you have. But opening up your feelings to him will help you deal with things a lot better. Give him a chance to help you through this difficult time. If he is unable to deal with the situation, it's okay. At least you won't be going through the torture of not knowing.