Introversion

[Storyrider]

Did your husband serve or does he jump out of perfectly fine airplanes just for fun (if he is a paratrooper, probably both )?

 

My husband is an army brat who lived all over the world, entered ROTC, went to jump school, signed papers to enter the military and then changed his mind at the zero hour. His introspection kicked in and he decided he had not thoroughly resolved the practical/philosophical implications of having someone else's life/lives in his hands. Miraculously, a family member was able to get the papers torn up. He became an academic instead in the most theoretical field you can imagine.

 

I am single, so getting alone-time is easy but I still use my lunch-hour at work to read so I really feel for you if you don't have that time. Having said that, I also can relate to your husband. When I decide that a job needs to get done, I will do whatever is necessary to get it done.

 

I do get it. I steal it whenever I can. I don't want to exaggerate my plight. I'm probably a bit of a glutton for it.

 

I'd consider the need for alone-time not as a side issue, maybe you can try to work that angle with your husband. I hope he doesn't completely dismiss your concern. The way you describe him. outside help is probably not for your husband then, because accepting help would show weakness.

 

No, he's not dismissive, I think he's just skeptical of psychology books and therapists as a source for truth. He's not closed to accepting help.

[blind_otter]

I'm an INFP, I had to take the Kiersy test for a job I held at a university at one point. They tried to group us together in our personality types. I was the only INFP out of about 45 people. I had to play Jenga with all the other odds and ends personality types.

 

My SO is also a guardian type - but he is MUCH more extroverted than I will ever dream of being. He is always off to some social event, which I endure out of obligation rather than from any true sense of enjoyment. Now that I'm pregnant it seems that most of the women in my SO's group (wives of his friends) expect that I will join in with them and it's just so difficult for me.

 

My job is great because I spend 90% of my time alone, just doing my work in my little zone.

 

Anyway I just wanted to pop in and say I empathize, Story.

[Storyrider]

I'm an INFP, I had to take the Kiersy test for a job I held at a university at one point. They tried to group us together in our personality types. I was the only INFP out of about 45 people. I had to play Jenga with all the other odds and ends personality types.

 

My SO is also a guardian type - but he is MUCH more extroverted than I will ever dream of being. He is always off to some social event, which I endure out of obligation rather than from any true sense of enjoyment. Now that I'm pregnant it seems that most of the women in my SO's group (wives of his friends) expect that I will join in with them and it's just so difficult for me.

 

My job is great because I spend 90% of my time alone, just doing my work in my little zone.

 

Anyway I just wanted to pop in and say I empathize, Story.

Hi Otter, thanks.

 

My little one is vomiting this morning, so another "school day" is turning out to be a mommy day.

 

That's the thing about motherhood. You can't leave it at the office or take a vacation from it really. It is intense like nothing else.

[Stockalone]

My husband is an army brat who lived all over the world, entered ROTC, went to jump school, signed papers to enter the military and then changed his mind at the zero hour. His introspection kicked in and he decided he had not thoroughly resolved the practical/philosophical implications of having someone else's life/lives in his hands. Miraculously, a family member was able to get the papers torn up. He became an academic instead in the most theoretical field you can imagine.

 

Is ROTC college/university based in the U.S.? Over here, you get trained during two years of active service and then leave the military as a reserve officer.

 

 

I do get it. I steal it whenever I can. I don't want to exaggerate my plight. I'm probably a bit of a glutton for it.

 

So you are just venting a bit, that is fine too.

 

 

No, he's not dismissive, I think he's just skeptical of psychology books and therapists as a source for truth. He's not closed to accepting help.

 

I am not too fond of therapists but as long as he is only a bit skeptical, that sounds alright.

[Storyrider]

Is ROTC college/university based in the U.S.? Over here, you get trained during two years of active service and then leave the military as a reserve officer.

 

Yes, I think if you want to go in as an officer you do two years of ROTC during college and then sign papers.

 

I am not too fond of therapists but as long as he is only a bit skeptical, that sounds alright.

 

There is a problem, in that we can't seem to find a third-party who we can agree on as a neutral authority to help us through some issues we're struggling with of late.

 

I do think we need marriage counseling. He says he doesn't want it. He's OK with me going to IC, though.