is there still a chance for us?

[sarsha]

well ive been dating this guy for 2 1/2 years. we have a big age difference. we would have to always sneak to see each other and he'd risk his ass to see me lied our asses off. we went through all of it.

well one day i found a text message to another girl saying " send me pussy pictures so i can rub one off" and i got pissed and i ended up threatening to send him to jail. he had promised me before that he wouldnt cheat on me and i promised him id never tell on him. well once i saw that i didnt care anymore & i ended up breaking my promise. i was going to get over and give him another chance but then i looked in his phone again and he was STILL calling her after he said he wouldnt call her anymore and please dont send him to jail so for awhile i just threatened him all the time because of hwat he did and he was talking to his ex and that blew up into a whole other thing. so he ended up telling my parents about us because he was tried of all the fighting and threatening but it still didnt stop it. my parents could do anything about it because my sister is dating his brother and they now have a baby together so that would cause family tension. we get along great. we had some of the best times together and we will always have a peice of each others hearts not matter what. he tells me that he hasnt loved me for along time and that he just wants me to leave him alone and that we will never get back together. he would tell me that i ruined it for good and its my fault. but then he would tell me that maybe he will start to miss me or call him when hes 18 but then he will say we dont ever have a chance again. before he would tell me that i was the perfect girl for him and that girls like me were made for guys like him and that he cared about me so much but the whole age that was really affecting us. weve pretty much put each other through hell for the last couple months. we'd fight but then we'd go right back to being us. i care about him a lot and i really miss him. i havent seen him for a month and weve talked on the phone. ive decided im giving him what he wants and that hes getting rid of me. ive gotten really tan and a new haircut and i feel like i look totally different from what i did a month ago. i feel like im really lookin good & i hope that he sees how different i look and wish he could have this ya know? last weekend we were at the same party and he kepty looking at me i mean starring hardcore at me. he was looking at me like we use to look at each other. that across the room stare like god i want you. and then he started playing songs that had that meaning to them. like songs that we had memories to. and then i go to call him but doesnt answer. he acts like he still cares about me but then totally blows me off and tells me to get lost and that he doesnt want me. there has to be some kind of feeling there. is he just trying to make it seem like it doesnt care? we are going to be in each others lives forever now. so when theres family get togethers hes going to be there. theres no escaping him. i have to see him regardless of whether or not i want to. i feel like maybe one night when my sisters having a party maybe we'll end up talking and somehow something will happen. thats how we happened in the first place. do you think the whole new look will help get his attention? we were very much into sex and i know he likes the way i look and if he sees me like this i know its gonna make him want me. he would always tell me he couldnt resist me and that i just had something about me that gets his attention. do you think he will miss me? i use to always clean his house for him, will he miss that? i did a lot of things i think he'd miss but what about me? should i just give it some time for us to heal? is he just saying he hates me and everything now because hes hurt? he says he wills always hold and grudge against me and never forgive me for threatening him. hes very stubborn & can be an ******* so hes kinda hard to figure out his feelings because you can tell theres feelings there he wont show. i just dont want to be left hanging here not know what to think. i wanted to see him for the last time just act like us and be happy for what we had but he said no because we'll just end up arguing which is not true. weve had some "lasy goodbyes" before and he knows what they consist of. i just dont understand all this. has anyone dealt with anything like this? what do you guys think the outlook is on this? thanks for any responses!