New Here, Need Some

[Danbes]

Oh, I forgot to add Help to the title. Sounds kind of weird without the Help.

 

Hey people. I'm new here, 17 years old, and I guess love struck me. I've never had anything like this before. I fell madly in love with a girl that I now think about all the time, and I'm kind of lost here, and I need some advice.

 

So, I first met her in 6th grade (It's the 11th now), we both were in class together, and I didn't pay any attention to her at all back then, I wasn't even into girls yet. She on the other hand (I'm not sure here) did develop some kind of interest in me, and one time after school, I was discussing my cats with my friends (Kind of a joke, my mother really loves cats, and we have plenty of them), and she kind of joined in on the conversation, and wanted to go see my cats. I had no clue if it meant something back then, except for the fact that it was unusual (It was still boys socialize with boys, girls with girls back then). Anyway, I showed her my cats, and that was it.

 

Next year I moved to a new place, where I spent the 7th, 8th and 9th grades. Last year, 10th grade, she came to the same city and school I went to. We met, recognized each other and had a few talks over the year, nothing worth mentioning.

 

Anyway, this year, we started meeting around school more often, talking more often, and I came to start liking her quite a lot- she is very intelligent, charming, beautiful, hell, I believe she is perfect in every sense.

 

Ok, just to add a bit of background, we live in a small town which is in a hilly area. Our school is located in a large city, about one and a half hour bus ride away.

 

So, right now the situation is this- I have become obsessed with her. I try to meet her every school break and I spend a lot of time with her- Lately, all my available time in school, as well as the bus rides. Now about the bus rides, she has her best friend, who is a girl, with her almost all the time, whom I also know. Now, about this, on the bus rides when they are both on the bus with me, she always choses to sit near her friend rather than me. Does this mean ANYTHING at all? (Oh, and please don't try to answer this before you read all of this).

 

Now, about any so called "signs". First off, she is very physical and touchy, with everybody she knows including me. She liked to sit or lay down on guys when they are sitting, she also liked to put her legs on guys when she's sitting near them, this kind of stuff. Now, she has her "greeting" thing when she greets guys she knows- she gives them this small hug, and they kiss her on the cheek. Now, a little comment here- the hug she gives me appears to be warmer and slightly longer than the treatment other guys get, and she is the one kissing me on the cheek.

 

Another thing, I'm a shy guy, which is kind of problematic. When it starts getting crowded, I tend to become very silent unless I know everyone in the room at least well, and when this happens, she does some subtle things to keep me involved (moves closer to me, asks me stuff...), btw, I started noticing this only recently.

 

We also seem to share a special connection, some kind of mutual understanding of various things. Kind of hard to describe. It ties in with the "subtle things" she does that I just mentioned. For example, lets say we are sitting- Me, her, and some guy, and this guy is trying to act funny and flirtatious (doing pretty well as far as I've seen). Also helped that he was better looking and older than me. Anyway, I was getting quite annoyed and a little bit upset with the situation. I guess it showed, and she noticed it, and gave me a kind of "Hey, I'm still here, with you" look, and a little speech about how that guy is an obnoxious idiot afterwards. We always seem to have this connection that we are there together, no matter who is with us. The only exception to this is when she is with her aforementioned best friend- in that case I mostly get ignored unless I specifically seek attention from her.

 

 

And one more thing, since we started hanging around together all the time in school, people started asking us if we're together, and she always snaps back with a short sharp "no". Any thoughts what this may mean?

 

 

Hmm, I've written quite a bit, I hope it doesn't overwhelm you, but I'm quite desperate. I'm afraid that I'm stuck in the friend zone, and I've got no idea what to do with this...

 

Ideas?

Edited April 7, 2008 by Danbes

[Mag]

Well to me it sounds like you might be in the "best guy friend" category if there is such one. It seems she values your friendship as well as companionship, on a slightly higher scale than some other people. As for her having feelings for you theres only one way to find out and thats to ask her.

 

I recently had a revelation about my best friend of going on 5 years. I ended up sitting down and writing a full page letter basically explaining my situation. Sat there with her as she read it and talked about it afterwards, unfortunately she didnt feel the same for me but we are still friends. to be completely honest thats fine by me.

[Danbes]

As for her having feelings for you theres only one way to find out and thats to ask her.

 

Hell, that's a hard one... I don't have a clue how the hell am I going to do that. Maybe I should try asking her out, see how she responds to that, or something else? I think a direct "ask her" approach won't do much good.

 

Any other opinions on this as a whole?

[Mag]

Its always going to be the hard one, as for ideas i tend to be straight forward with people. Im not going to give you some kinda scheme to "impress the girl". Whats your gut feeling about approaching her in general, since you dont care or seem to have enough confidence for the direct approach?