Woggle Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 He probably doesn't mean anything bad by doint it. My wife and I sit around talking about who we find attractive from the opposite sex all the time but if it does bother you he should lay off on it. Before trying to show him what it feels like I would try and talk to him about it and tell him that it bothers you. You and him should be able to discuss this like adults and if that doesn't work I would try and show him what it feels like. Link to post Share on other sites
MoonlightLover Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 I think the OP is just lacking the underlined trait in dealing with the handling of the situation stated originally. Am i the only one who gets psychotically dangerous around that time of the month round here? Anyone? hehe Link to post Share on other sites
Author XxBacktoBlackXx Posted April 8, 2008 Author Share Posted April 8, 2008 I guess I'm confused because it seems like some think it's appropriate and others think it's inappropriate...I guess maybe I should just go by how I feel and realize I am not feeling well about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 forget about how you feel, you need to stop acting like this. Even if it is inapropriate it shouldn't affect you like this Link to post Share on other sites
Author XxBacktoBlackXx Posted April 8, 2008 Author Share Posted April 8, 2008 That really helps...I need to stop acting like this. That's not constructive at all. I said in the beginning of my post, if you read the whole thing, that I knew I was being overly sensitive. It's not as if I said anything to him or burst into tears. I didn't because I knew that internally I was overreacting. I didn't say a word and I don't plan to as I want to take care of this myself. If it were so easy for me to stop feeling this way then I would do so. I am currently in therapy for problems I have had in the past and I know I have things to work on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author XxBacktoBlackXx Posted April 8, 2008 Author Share Posted April 8, 2008 Does anyone else have any suggestions? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Florida Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 (edited) That really helps...I need to stop acting like this. That's not constructive at all. I said in the beginning of my post, if you read the whole thing, that I knew I was being overly sensitive. It's not as if I said anything to him or burst into tears. I didn't because I knew that internally I was overreacting. I didn't say a word and I don't plan to as I want to take care of this myself. If it were so easy for me to stop feeling this way then I would do so. I am currently in therapy for problems I have had in the past and I know I have things to work on. Acting like what? Why do you only respond to the posters who tell you that you are overreacting? I have an honest question-do you like for others to negate your feelings? Does it feel good in any way shape or form to be told that you should ignore your feelings to keep him? I don't understand. Rewinding it to watch it with you? And all the other posts you've made.... Look, I know this is pointless because you'll only care what I say if I tell you that you're being crazy, and he is a gem, but I don't understand why you feel you are wrong in this situation. Seems like you are your own worst enemy B2B. And there are plenty of people who need you to stay that way so they can continue being a-holes. Doesn't mean that you are wrong for being mad. Good Luck, I hope you trust yourself one day. I am worried he does not show enough empathy towards you at this point, through no fault of your own. Edited April 8, 2008 by Florida Link to post Share on other sites
Author XxBacktoBlackXx Posted April 8, 2008 Author Share Posted April 8, 2008 Sorry, Florida. I do read your posts and everyone elses. I was frustrated by what KMT wrote and felt I needed to clarify myself. I do agree that I need to learn to trust myself. Sometimes that's hard when you feel you have a lot to fix and therefore must not have valid points or must be overreacting. I guess sometimes I am more apt to pay attention to those that agree with my overreacting philosophy 'cause it validates that maybe I need to fix every little thing about myself. I do pay attention to all posts, but it confuses me when I read people telling me that I am overreacting...or I should say it makes me think that yes, I do not have such a valid point in this case. But ultimately, you are right. I need to trust myself and live for myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Florida Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 Hi, question here. Think back to 10 times in your past you felt really angered/upset/betrayed. Now think about the the results of what went down with the person/s involved. Were you ever wrong in retrospect? If yes, to what ratio-1 out of 10? 2 out of 10? You don't have to tell me details, just the general question is all I am asking-I'll tell you why..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author XxBacktoBlackXx Posted April 8, 2008 Author Share Posted April 8, 2008 Hmmm...10 times, huh? I am reviewing this in my head and I feel like I was right in these situations to feel hurt (these situations I think of involve a variety of people), but in 2 instances, I could have handled the situation in a better manner, yet I still feel I had reason to be hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 Look Florida I'm not going to attack the things you say so I'd apreciate the same respect. I really don't think the situation she described is a big deal, or anything to make a federal case out of. Thats just my 2 cents. I he wants to say some girl in some movie is pretty, he should be aloud to. Link to post Share on other sites
Florida Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 Hmmm...10 times, huh? I am reviewing this in my head and I feel like I was right in these situations to feel hurt (these situations I think of involve a variety of people), but in 2 instances, I could have handled the situation in a better manner, yet I still feel I had reason to be hurt. Okay-same with me, this is a very normal response. You are completely normal. 2 out of 10....shows that you were right the majority of the time in your instincts, and self reflective enough to know when it could have been handled better in a mere 2 instances. If you said, all 10, it would have read as psychic powers, or more likely pigheadedness. But I just want you to know that your answer belies what you state about "help-I need to change my emotions because they are not right and I need to fix them". Putting him aside for a moment, just know that you are right in your feelings, they have guided you well so far. Don'r discard them just because it is challenging you in painful ways that you would rather not deal with, okay? Link to post Share on other sites
Author XxBacktoBlackXx Posted April 8, 2008 Author Share Posted April 8, 2008 I figured out what I am going to say next time he makes a comment (not about how attractive a girl is but rewinding something and making me watch it): "Good thing you're lucky enough to have a beautiful girl sitting next to you right now rather than behind a screen." Part of why this bothers me is because he wants to be a screenwriter and pursue that in LA. His major goal is to get into the movie industry and he seems to be so into actresses. I know that's normal for guys but I don't wanna have to have something rewound to see the hottest face in the history of the world... Link to post Share on other sites
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