Noos Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 A work friend admitted that he had liked me for a long time and had been sending me signals. I admitted I liked him too and several weeks later, after I'd made myself vulnerable by admitting my feelings and he had kissed me at other times, he initiated things and we slept together. Now he is telling me that he doesn't want a relationship with me because he's too busy and doesn't have the time for anything other than a casual relationship. He says he likes me more than other girls and doesn't want things to be casual with me. The thing is, he's never going to be less busy than he is now with work, family, friends and sport. And he can't say when he will be available in the near future. He's been my friend for 18 months and now he can't understand why i'm upset with him that he slept with me after I admitted how I felt about him. I know that he really is busy because I used to work with him...still I think he's giving me the "I'm too busy for a relationship" line because if he was keen, he'd make time. Am I wrong to feel offended by his behaviour?? Why would a guy sleep with a close girlfriend knowing how she feels and then expect to revert to platonic friendship? Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Man that's harsh. Sounds like "Mission Accomplished" in his mind... he wanted to sleep with you and now he has, so he backs off. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Not wrong to be offended, but likely short-sighted to have engaged your emotions and slept with him. Sounds like he wants to keep you in his life, mindful of the intimacy you've had, which will color your view of him as more than the platonic friends you would then be. Immature of him, IMO. Personally, I'd ignore him now. Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 Sounds like he is setting you up for a FWB situation. He is flat out telling you that is does not want a relationship with you but he has shown you that he is willing to sleep with you. If he wanted a serious relationship with you then he would make time for that. I would suggest that you decide what you want. You can play along or decide that this is not what you want right now. Either way stay cool and don't get all clingy and demanding. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenScent Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 This is how I see things.. maybe I'm naive or young... If a guy is interested, he'd make time for you. No matter how busy he is... he'd make time. Wait.. maybe I'm not naive... a hopeless romantic, maybe! I would definitely make time for the one I am interested in. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 He's not your friend anymore, if ever, friends don't use their friends. I agree that he's keeping communications open, for future encounters of the FWB nature. If you want to test this, take sex off the table and see how long he remains in contact. Link to post Share on other sites
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