Cum on face: Yey or Ney?

[Ariadne]

Ah, then being sexually uptight isn't a bad thing, right?

 

Nope... It is what it is.

[Trialbyfire]

No, I believe people should respect someone else's boundaries.

 

And people should not let themselves be manipulated into doing something they don't agree to.

 

Nope... It is what it is.

Then we're all in agreement. Everyone is entitled to their own personal boundaries and shouldn't allow others to manipulate or force them into doing something they don't want to do.

[The Collector]

I find it quite misandrist to constantly have my beautiful ejaculate referred to as 'slime.' I can't imagine a man getting away with calling a woman's lubricant 'slime' around here, and I think we'd all agree he had issues if he tried.

 

Consensual, fun 'fake degradation' is a world away from real domination and abuse of course. Whatever floats your boats.

[Nemo]

I find it quite misandrist to constantly have my beautiful ejaculate referred to as 'slime.'

Sorry, I can't stop laughing at you calling it "beautiful." I don't think that's in common usage, haha.

 

http://www.sex-lexis.com/Sex-Dictionary/Old%20Slimy

 

Seems very natural to call that which is slimy, slime. Time for you to get educated about your own excretions.

[The Collector]

Sorry, I can't stop laughing at you calling it "beautiful." I don't think that's in common usage, haha.

 

http://www.sex-lexis.com/Sex-Dictionary/Old%20Slimy

 

Seems very natural to call that which is slimy, slime. Time for you to get educated about your own excretions.

 

'Slime' has NO positive connotations. It degrades what is a source of life, and is a pretty white colour to boot. Like the part of my post you ignored, you have 'excreta that could be termed 'slimey' but I wouldn't demean you and your gender by using that word, and I doubt you refer to it yourself as slime.

 

Sugar frosting, that sounds nice. But if you can't bear to be so positive about a man's sperm, that says a lot about you.

[Storyrider]

To me, sex is such a natural act. Two people who care about each other naturally develop a compatible style for mutual enjoyment. When both parties are naturally doing what they enjoy doing, totally relaxed about it, is when you have phenomenal sex.

 

This sounds sexy to me, too.

 

Of course, agreeing on the above would be part of being sexually compatible.

 

I think for some, experimentation is a huge turn-on, violating taboos, exploring personal obsessions and quirks, finding new erogenous zones, combining pleasure and pain, trying out ideas from porn etc. etc.

 

But for me, the emotional connection is the most exciting aspect of sex. Playfulness would be a part of this, especially after knowing someone better, and this could involve acting out fantasies, trying different positions, etc. Still, for me, this about finding different ways to express and receive love and desire.

 

But when the experimentation becomes the point rather than the means to an end, I find it boring, to be honest. For me, it depersonalizes the experience rather than contributing to the feeling of connection.

 

I don't particularly get off on disconnected physical pleasure, where what's being done becomes more important than who is doing it to me. I suppose you could say this is my fetish.

 

So, yeah, I wouldn't be so compatible with someone who felt experimentation was primary.

[dpr]

The other person doesn't want to be controlled, and to be dominated by taking a facial sliming of semen. It's their preference. Yet, the controlling person seeks to blame them for not changing their boundaries in the name of love. The facial slimer is nothing other than a control freak, and an emotional blackmailer.

 

If you advocate this type of controlling behaviour, then you are clearly overstepping the boundaries set by a partner. Get over it, already.

 

Go back and read all of my posts and show me where I said:

 

"If your partner has told you he/she doesn't like a certain sexual act, force them to do it."

 

I stated that all of you people have hang-ups. I didn't say you have to start confronting them. Go ahead and don't. The rest of us will have fun, adventurous sex with our partners, assuming that's okay with you. You're not going to call the police on us are you?

 

And while we're at, Nemo, since you seem to present yourself as the authority on what is normal and abnormal or respectful and disrespectful, why don't you make a list for all of us to follow? So that we know what we should ask our partners to do for us. See when I tell my girlfriend about my fantasies, I don't want to be labeled "controlling," so a list would benefit my situation greatly.

 

I'll start you off...

 

1) Hair-pulling... disrespectful? degrading? I'd say 10% degradation with 15% disrespect

 

2) Ass-slapping... I gotta go with 40% degrdation and 38% disrespect on this one, especially if you follow it up with a "Who's your daddy?"

 

3) French kissing... eww... someone's SLIMY TONGUE IN YOUR MOUTH? How degrading! I have way too much respect for myself to be SLIMED WITH SALIVA, thank you very much. That's 50% across the board.

 

Feel free to add any I missed. I'm not as "normal" as you yet.

[dpr]

This sounds sexy to me, too.

 

Of course, agreeing on the above would be part of being sexually compatible.

 

I think for some, experimentation is a huge turn-on, violating taboos, exploring personal obsessions and quirks, finding new erogenous zones, combining pleasure and pain, trying out ideas from porn etc. etc.

 

But for me, the emotional connection is the most exciting aspect of sex. Playfulness would be a part of this, especially after knowing someone better, and this could involve acting out fantasies, trying different positions, etc. Still, for me, this about finding different ways to express and receive love and desire.

 

But when the experimentation becomes the point rather than the means to an end, I find it boring, to be honest. For me, it depersonalizes the experience rather than contributing to the feeling of connection.

 

Well put. I totally agree. Experimentation is a big turn-on, but it's not like you have to pick up the kama sutra or put a porn on just to have sex. There's a "honeymoon phase" to it, I guess, in kind of the same way having sex in different places is so exciting at first. But then after a while, you miss the regular old bed.

 

I don't particularly get off on disconnected physical pleasure, where what's being done becomes more important than who is doing it to me. I suppose you could say this is my fetish.

 

That's kind of cool. I've never thought of it like that. To use "facials" as another example, I don't think it's ever become like that with us, disconnected. I would never want to do that to someone I didn't know and love (like a fling or something, I think someone touched in this in the earlier posts), because a) You wouldn't know if they liked it or not, and b) It's more personal for lack of better word, just like you wouldn't role play with someone you just met at a bar or something. I don't think it's disconnected at all. I don't really see it that way.

[dpr]

If the idea is rude to you, it will not turn you on.

 

I used to see doggystyle sex and porn and think it was rude. Weird, even. I thought it was very impersonal and said to myself "I wouldn't want to do that with my girlfriend." But then do you know what happened? I TRIED IT.

 

You're confusing an overall sexual compatibility to sexual need based on one type of act. I've yet to deny that sexual compatibility isn't important. It's to what small degree you take it, that doesn't make sense to me.

 

Not sure what you meant by that last sentence, but I don't think that with some people (not me necessarily), a partner's reluctance to perform one sexual act could greatly affect both partner's overall sexual compatibility. I can think of a few: cunnilingus, fellatio, deep kissing, etc.

[dpr]

I find it quite misandrist to constantly have my beautiful ejaculate referred to as 'slime.' I can't imagine a man getting away with calling a woman's lubricant 'slime' around here, and I think we'd all agree he had issues if he tried.

 

Consensual, fun 'fake degradation' is a world away from real domination and abuse of course. Whatever floats your boats.

 

Good points. Would I tell my girlfriend "Your gash gunk tastes nasty!" No I wouldn't, cuz I'm a good boy.

 

And true again, I know plenty of S&Mers who have safe kinky fun with their partners and have never dominated or abused anyone in real life. But I guess they better seek help anyway, according to Nemo. It may SEEM like they're having harmless fun, but really the guys are controlling rapists and the girls are sluts with no self-esteem. SEEK COUNSELLING, EVERYONE!

[dpr]

One partner forcing, demanding or insisting on another partner doing a sexual act they don't want to do is controlling and dominating.

 

Also, implying that people who don't want to do something are repressed, is a manipulative way to control.

 

Yeah, you got me TrialByFire. It's subversion. I want to cum on all of your e-faces. I've never called any of my partners repressed. Because none of them were.

 

So how do explain a strong unwillingness to try something sexual you've never tried before, and not call it "repressed" or "a hang-up"?

 

What is it then? "I am 100% sure that I won't like it"? That reminds me of a Nancy Regan ad or something.

[dpr]

What's a noisy crusador for the sexual revolution to do when not even their own granny raises an eyebrow at the notion of anal or S&M any more? Howl with righteous indignation against imaginary accusations of rape and abuse the moment anyone suggests they're being a tad overbearing?

 

uhh.. Hi? have you been ****ing READING this thread? according to most of you know-it-alls on here, I'm a control freak who wants to break my gf mentally so that I can keep her in a cage and cum on her all day! Imaginary, my ass... read some of Nemo's gems of wisdom! Excuse us for being offended when confronted with the notion that our sexual acts mean we don't love and/or respect each other!

 

Why don't you all go find a homosexual and start talking to them about how their love is wrong, and they are all abominations?

[dpr]

I don't believe anybody should be forced or expected to do something they don't want to do, no.

 

Some people might be turned on by extreme pain, some by choking, which has put more than one to death. I don't think not being into that constitutes being sexually uptight.

 

Exactly. Last time I checked, you can't pass out and die from having cum or vaginal secretions on your face. You won't have a black eye the next day at work, etc. but no no, the two things are TOTALLY the same.

[Lizzie60]

I'm all for it..

I just close my eyes and open my mouth...

[dpr]

Some would say you're sexually uptight for not being willing to be sexually experimental. How can you say this wouldn't be fun, if you've never tried it before?

 

So let me get this straight... in setting your special little boundaries in your head, you would actually lump cumming on your partner's face (or receiving it on the face, whatever) in with necrophelia, bestiality and auto-asphyxiation, all of which are illegal.

 

Why don't you make a fair comparison. Again, women... what would you do if your male partner's "boundary" was that he detested cunnilingus or fingering you or (insert your favorite way to cum here)?

 

Maybe a better question would be... what DOES make someone sexually uptight?

 

By your logic, sounds like one would have to be asexual to consider that they may be sexually repressed or have some sort of problem with intimacy.

[Lizzie60]

dpr.. you have to accept that some people only know the 'missionary position' .. have never tried anything too olé-olé.. because that would be lack of respect of their 'temple'.

[dpr]

It's interesting that you don't want to hear their reason. You feel that by judging them as "uptight," it gives anyone the right to violate their boundaries.

 

This sort of judgement is exactly what a control freak uses to justify their domination of a partner by facially sliming them with semen in a defiant act of disrespect. Their partner has already said they have a preference for not having a load dumped on them, but their boundaries and desires are not being respected. They have been drowned out by a controlling inner voice that says, "You're just uptight, so I'm going to do it for your own good." Control freaks demand respect from their partners, but are totally unwilling to show any in return.

 

Hmm, so I guess my gf and I should sit down and talk about this sexual act, to make sure we're not doing it for the "wrong reasons." Should we go to a shrink so we can both be hypnotized to make sure it's not my controlling nature or her lack of self-respect that has caused us to evolve into the perverts we are.

 

Nah **** it, I think we'll just keep having good, fun, sex.

 

And you... well you.. uh... have a good... life, I guess? Stay strong. Don't let any of us evil controlling guys break you down.

[Trialbyfire]

So let me get this straight... in setting your special little boundaries in your head, you would actually lump cumming on your partner's face (or receiving it on the face, whatever) in with necrophelia, bestiality and auto-asphyxiation, all of which are illegal.

 

Why don't you make a fair comparison. Again, women... what would you do if your male partner's "boundary" was that he detested cunnilingus or fingering you or (insert your favorite way to cum here)?

 

Maybe a better question would be... what DOES make someone sexually uptight?

 

By your logic, sounds like one would have to be asexual to consider that they may be sexually repressed or have some sort of problem with intimacy.

I've already told you that if my partner didn't want to give oral, it would be okay with me.

 

Btw, sodomy is illegal in many jurisdictions...

[Lizzie60]

Hmm, so I guess my gf and I should sit down and talk about this sexual act, to make sure we're not doing it for the "wrong reasons." Should we go to a shrink so we can both be hypnotized to make sure it's not my controlling nature or her lack of self-respect that has caused us to evolve into the perverts we are.

 

Nah **** it, I think we'll just keep having good, fun, sex.

 

And you... well you.. uh... have a good... life, I guess? Stay strong. Don't let any of us evil controlling guys break you down.

 

I would say it's your parents' fault.. you probably were abused.. or maybe your gf was.. I'm surprised you didn't get that answer yet..

[dpr]

Then we're all in agreement. Everyone is entitled to their own personal boundaries and shouldn't allow others to manipulate or force them into doing something they don't want to do.

 

Sure. And your man is perfectly able to have his boundaries. Let's hope he doesn't decide that he has a problem with making you cum, because he's tired after he cums and just wants to roll over and go to bed.

 

That's an okay boundary right? It's not like he ****s corpses or anything (fair comparison). So I'm sure you would respect his choice to cum inside you and then go to sleep without making you cum. Hey he hates oral... that's his boundary right?

 

Or would you have a problem with that?

[dpr]

I'm all for it..

I just close my eyes and open my mouth...

 

For the record... I love you.

 

Whoops, is that okay that I said that? I don't mean to control you. Wait, what I meant to say was: I would like to love you, if you would allow it... ma'am!

[Trialbyfire]

Sure. And your man is perfectly able to have his boundaries. Let's hope he doesn't decide that he has a problem with making you cum, because he's tired after he cums and just wants to roll over and go to bed.

 

That's an okay boundary right? It's not like he ****s corpses or anything (fair comparison). So I'm sure you would respect his choice to cum inside you and then go to sleep without making you cum. Hey he hates oral... that's his boundary right?

 

Or would you have a problem with that?

No matter how you spin it, it's a matter of how you want to force a partner to do whatever you want and are willing to walk away from relationships because of one little act they won't perform.

 

That's your perogative to make the most important facet of sexuality all about you and what you insist on experiencing v. coming to a satisfactory concensus.

[dpr]

dpr.. you have to accept that some people only know the 'missionary position' .. have never tried anything too olé-olé.. because that would be lack of respect of their 'temple'.

 

Yeah I guess so. You have to "keep your guard up." That's the most important ingredient in any successful relationship. A nice strong guard that's always up, making sure your partner never "crosses the line."

[dpr]

No matter how you spin it, it's a matter of how you want to force a partner to do whatever you want and are willing to walk away from relationships because of one little act they won't perform.

 

That's your perogative to make the most important facet of sexuality all about you and what you insist on experiencing v. coming to a satisfactory concensus.

 

How am I spinning it?

 

OMG when did I say "force?" I never ever said that! For the thousandth time, I'm not telling anyone to force anyone to do anything!

 

Cunnilingus is "one little act." Fellatio is "one little act." Kissing is "one little act."

 

And you can't tell me that the absence of any of these three things in any "NORMAL" relationship wouldn't be a big problem to one partner!

 

And how is it all about ME, exactly? If I had some weird problem where I puked every time my girl's vagina-juice touched my lips, I wouldn't blame her for leaving. To be honest, I would probably seek therapy!

[dpr]

I've already told you that if my partner didn't want to give oral, it would be okay with me.

 

Btw, sodomy is illegal in many jurisdictions...

 

What if he never wanted to kiss you?