Cum on face: Yey or Ney?

[dpr]

It is really helpful for me in the bedroom to imagine a peanut gallery much like that on American Idol, holding up signs to rate whether my emotional reactions qualify as hangups or preferences.

 

I think it may help you. Maybe Simon could teach you how to please your man.

[Taramere]

I've been ****ed in the ass before

 

Ah. So now we start getting to the root of your anger.

 

Don't worry, we're broad minded here, and always willing to help.

[Trialbyfire]

omg that is so ridiculously childish.

 

where has it been proven?

 

Yeah well I can think of a group that would disagree with you. They're called "Gay Men and Straight Women Everywhere Who Have Had No Problems Having Regular Anal Sex Because - As Your Doctor Will Tell You - It Is Perfectly Safe If You Take Proper Precautions."

 

I've been ****ed in the ass before, and contrary to what your priest may be telling you, **** doesn't spontaneously fall out of my ass when I'm walking down the street.

 

just try it already, you big scaredy. lol

Once again, derision towards personal preferences. Not everyone wants to take it up the ass. Just like not everyone wants to take it in the face. That you're bisexual could be something I could easily make fun of, but what does that accomplish? Nothing.

[dpr]

:lmao:

 

Exactly. It doesn't qualify as a hangup unless you actually want to do it.

 

Having something demeaning done to you is fine if that's what makes you happy. Such a woman probably has to put up with a lot of idiocy from their semen sprinkler in daily life, so what's one more thing? The simple man spends much of his time like a dog, marking his territory. Don't be surprised if a golden shower is next on the list.

 

It's all about control. Some guys are control freaks, although they have much trouble admitting it.

 

Ahhh... typical feminist rhetoric. Yeah we're all dogs, marking our territory, yadda yadda.

 

Maybe it's not a pissing thing?

 

Maybe it's that men are more visually stimulated than women?

 

Or maybe we guys who enjoy facials have some sexual obsession with women's faces being the sexiest part of their bodies? Like how foot fetishists like to cum on women's feet? Is this degrading? Cuz there's a whole bunch of male and female foot fetishists who would disagree.

 

But no, you're right. It's all about control. I also force my gf to make me dinner and slap her in the face if I come home from work and it's not ready. Sometimes she talks out of turn, and tells me what SHE fantasizes about and what SHE wants ME to do for HER in bed... and I just can't take it and then I start punching the **** out of her until once again I have regained my dominance. And when we leave the house, I tell her what to wear and how to behave, yeah I'm totally one of those guys.

 

BECAUSE CUMMING ON YOUR PARNTER'S FACE = RAPE

 

[Nemo]

I've been ****ed in the ass before, and contrary to what your priest may be telling you, **** doesn't spontaneously fall out of my ass when I'm walking down the street.

I'm assuming you are bi? Or are you a gay guy yet to come out, and needing some sort of hetero "cover" for some twisted reason? Anyway, I guess your frustration now makes a lot more sense.

[Taramere]

That you're bisexual could be something I could easily make fun of, but what does that accomplish? Nothing.

 

I beg to differ. Remember way back, you and I discussed that simple childhood pleasure of tapping repeatedly on a car window while an angry dog inside is working itself into a rabid frenzy?

[Trialbyfire]

I beg to differ. Remember way back, you and I discussed that simple childhood pleasure of tapping repeatedly on a car window while an angry dog inside is working itself into a rabid frenzy?

Busted!

[Nemo]

But no, you're right. It's all about control.

Precisely. It's all about control.

 

Let's say that a woman has a preference for not having a sticky load deposited on her face. By your logic, it's not controlling to go against her wishes, because "you should enjoy it because I do."

 

Wrong.

 

You should respect her preferences. In this case, the man is trying to control the woman. It's a very simple concept to grasp, unless you are a controlling man desperate to justify your controlling ways.

[Storyrider]

I beg to differ. Remember way back, you and I discussed that simple childhood pleasure of tapping repeatedly on a car window while an angry dog inside is working itself into a rabid frenzy?

We're off to the zoo (really). I may have to try that.

 

I'm getting the feeling that dpr perceives it as a rejection if his partner doesn't want to take his cum in any way he wishes to give it. It is part of him. Like if your partner got grossed out by your sweat or your breath or something. I can see that side of it.

 

But, you know, everyone has boundaries. It isn't necessarily a rejection of the other person if there is an honest need to draw a boundary there.

[dpr]

Almost all of us can agree that what goes on in the bedroom between any two individuals is their own business.

 

So I don't see how, if some choose not to receive cum in the face, they should be open to derision. If this doesn't qualify as a "sexual preference" I don't know what does.

 

I also find it fascinating that men who give each other virtual high-fives over "telling it like it is, bro," are so threatened when a female poster does the same from a slightly different POV.

 

Lighten up, guys. Just because we don't long to bathe in your jism doesn't mean we don't think you're hot. We might even go along with it sportingly from time to time if it isn't made into a federal case.

 

Okay SR, first of all, sorry for being so livid and I think you may misunderstand me here. I am just mad at these comments I have read in this thread before I started posting.

 

First of all, I would never suggest that any guy make a "federal case" out of this. It is really gross and unromantic and just plain wrong to picture some guy out there sitting on the bed with his girlfriend saying "Come on, just let me cum on your face.... come on, they do it in porn! Aw yer no fun!"

 

I hope no one would ever make their girl uncomfortable like that. I am sure most guys have more respect for them than that.

 

That being said, I don't see any problem with a guy telling his girl that he is turned on by the idea and wants to try it. Just like there should be no problem with a girl telling her boy what she would like to try. Or a boy telling his boy, or girl telling her girl! People should be open about these things.

 

And of course, it would be very insensitive to follow the request up with an ultimatum like "Well, maybe I'll just go find some girl who wants to," but it doesn't take a genius to recognize that a relationship without "good sex" (in the minds of both partners) is not going to last. And if it does, well I wouldn't call that a good relationship, would you?

 

Really, what I am so goddamned livid about is people posting on here about the "lack of respect" and about the "demeaning nature" or "degradation," as if there is no such thing as two people role-playing, degrading each other to be turned on, and that as if anyone who does this doesn't love their partner as much as you people, who like "normal sex."

 

My gf and I are nice people. We help each other. We listen to each other. We love and respect each other. But according to almost every idiot in this thread (who most likely has never tried anything beyond good ol respectful missionary), my girlfriend's a slut and I am a controlling pervert who wants to "break her spirit" or something.

 

That's not fair because no one on this thread even knows us.

 

Like jesus christ, what is with the judgemental bull****?

 

At least we have fun. At least we try new things. I hope you all have fun being smug and judging us for what turns us on, and I hope you all have fun in your next sexual encounter(s)... I can picture it now...

 

"Ooh that feels good darling."

 

"It feels good on my end too. I really respect you a lot."

 

"And I you, madam. May I ejaculate in your vagina so that I may allow you to keep your diginity and am not accused of being a misogynist?"

 

"Yes you may."

 

UGGGGGH!

 

If anything is "gross," it's the idea of that ****ing spectacle... not cum on someone's face.

[dpr]

We're off to the zoo (really). I may have to try that.

 

I'm getting the feeling that dpr perceives it as a rejection if his partner doesn't want to take his cum in any way he wishes to give it. It is part of him. Like if your partner got grossed out by your sweat or your breath or something. I can see that side of it.

 

It's something like that, yes.

 

But at the same time, it's not like I would want my partner to do it if they didn't want to.

 

But I would find a new partner. Sex is important, no?

[Taramere]

Really, what I am so goddamned livid about is people posting on here about the "lack of respect" and about the "demeaning nature" or "degradation," as if there is no such thing as two people role-playing, degrading each other to be turned on, and that as if anyone who does this doesn't love their partner as much as you people, who like "normal sex."

 

My gf and I are nice people. We help each other. We listen to each other. We love and respect each other. But according to almost every idiot in this thread (who most likely has never tried anything beyond good ol respectful missionary), my girlfriend's a slut and I am a controlling pervert who wants to "break her spirit" or something.

 

You're the only one who's obsessed by the notion of degradation in all of this. You've invented a row of tut-tutting anti-sex critics to rail against. Maybe it makes you feel sexier to do that, or maybe you've encountered people like that in real life who made you feel like crap.

 

Either way, you've made a fool of yourself. Never mind. It's all good, clean, anonymous not to mention non-degrading fun.

[Storyrider]

Okay SR, first of all, sorry for being so livid and I think you may misunderstand me here. I am just mad at these comments I have read in this thread before I started posting...

 

(snipped for brevity)

 

...If anything is "gross," it's the idea of that ****ing spectacle... not cum on someone's face.

Fair enough.

 

Actually, the only people who made me truly angry in this thread were the women attacking another female poster, and insinuating that if she had been open enough to let her man cum in her face, he might not have cheated on her.

 

If anything was a spectacle in this thread, it was that.

[Trialbyfire]

I'm getting the feeling that dpr perceives it as a rejection if his partner doesn't want to take his cum in any way he wishes to give it. It is part of him. Like if your partner got grossed out by your sweat or your breath or something. I can see that side of it.

 

But, you know, everyone has boundaries. It isn't necessarily a rejection of the other person if there is an honest need to draw a boundary there.

What I don't understand is how someone could perceive sex as the be-all and end-all of everything in a relationship. While sex is an important ingredient in a relationship, taking it to the nth degree by saying that certain sexual acts within the blanket of sex, define your relationship, doesn't make sense. A substantial part of a good relationship is giving and receiving respect, which includes respect of your partner's preferencese and boundaries.

[dpr]

Precisely. It's all about control.

 

Let's say that a woman has a preference for not having a sticky load deposited on her face. By your logic, it's not controlling to go against her wishes, because "you should enjoy it because I do."

 

Wrong.

 

You should respect her preferences. In this case, the man is trying to control the woman. It's a very simple concept to grasp, unless you are a controlling man desperate to justify your controlling ways.

 

oh pleeeeeeease.

 

Can you ****ing read???

 

Not: "You should enjoy it because I do"

 

But: "Do you enjoy this? No? Well then this may be a problem because I really enjoy it and have enjoyed it in the past with my other partners."

 

I have never made anyone do anything they don't want to in my life! But since you're some idiot who has already decided I'm a borderline rapist, I guess I won't be able to make you understand.

 

If you were into S&M swinger orgies, and you hooked up with someone who wasn't.... how do you think that relationship would play out? You'd be totally content with your partner doing "everything else," and would just forget about your burning desire for S&M?

 

Do you think a woman should respect a man's preference if he doesn't like giving her oral sex?

 

What about if he doesn't like making her cum at all? What if that's not what he "prefers." Perhaps he prefers to cum after 20 seconds and then go to sleep. Oh well, if the woman doesn't want to be labeled as a man-hater she better shut up about what turns her on and just "respect his preferences."

 

Gimme a break.

[Trialbyfire]

Fair enough.

 

Actually, the only people who made me truly angry in this thread were the women attacking another female poster, and insinuating that if she had been open enough to let her man cum in her face, he might not have cheated on her.

 

If anything was a spectacle in this thread, it was that.

Since it's you, I will say that sex was never an issue within my previous marriage. We had A LOT of fun.

[dpr]

What I don't understand is how someone could perceive sex as the be-all and end-all of everything in a relationship. While sex is an important ingredient in a relationship, taking it to the nth degree by saying that certain sexual acts within the blanket of sex, define your relationship, doesn't make sense. A substantial part of a good relationship is giving and receiving respect, which includes respect of your partner's preferencese and boundaries.

 

I never said it was the be-all end-all of a relationship. Never said sex defines relationships. I said exactly what you said, that it's an important part of a relationship.

 

See the thing is, I don't think I've ever defined any boundaries for myself. It's always just been a "whatever makes my partner happy" type of thing, and I am glad I have a partner who reciprocates this attitude. After reading this thread I am EXTREMELY glad... jesus...

[Trialbyfire]

It's something like that, yes.

 

But at the same time, it's not like I would want my partner to do it if they didn't want to.

 

But I would find a new partner. Sex is important, no?

 

I never said it was the be-all end-all of a relationship. Never said sex defines relationships. I said exactly what you said, that it's an important part of a relationship.

 

See the thing is, I don't think I've ever defined any boundaries for myself. It's always just been a "whatever makes my partner happy" type of thing, and I am glad I have a partner who reciprocates this attitude. After reading this thread I am EXTREMELY glad... jesus...

Read both these posts. They're conflicting.

[dpr]

Fair enough.

 

Actually, the only people who made me truly angry in this thread were the women attacking another female poster, and insinuating that if she had been open enough to let her man cum in her face, he might not have cheated on her.

 

If anything was a spectacle in this thread, it was that.

 

Who said that?? In case you're referring to me, I never said any such thing to any woman on this forum.

 

And also that is totally not cool. I would never cheat on anyone! People who cheat are just too immature to break up with the person or maybe they just have no conscience, I dunno. It's also very "high school." Really lame thing to do to someone.

[Taramere]

But: "Do you enjoy this? No? Well then this may be a problem because I really enjoy it and have enjoyed it in the past with my other partners."

 

I have never made anyone do anything they don't want to in my life! But since you're some idiot who has already decided I'm a borderline rapist, I guess I won't be able to make you understand.

 

If you were into S&M swinger orgies, and you hooked up with someone who wasn't.... how do you think that relationship would play out? You'd be totally content with your partner doing "everything else," and would just forget about your burning desire for S&M?

 

I can't speak for Nemo here, but I think the reason you're getting into debates that you're not equipped to handle stem from your intense defensiveness and anger here.

 

My concern, given the level of defensiveness that's coming out of your posts, is that there's some doubt in your mind about whether or not your partners are really into this. And if your usual approach involves either ridiculing people into trying new things ("you've got so many hang-ups" "you must be a boring lay") or letting them know that a relationship with you won't be a goer if they aren't into it, then that increases the possibility that some partners won't genuinely have been into certain things, but will have felt pressured to pretend they were.

 

Despite your repeated exhortations that various people here grow up, you yourself sound pretty young. Maybe you're too young to have learned that there are ways and means of encouraging people to experiment. Ways that don't involve ridiculing them as unadventurous or giving them the do or die "this is a vital part of my repertoire and if you're not into it then you and I won't work." message. It's called creating a setting of trust and acceptance in which people decide it might actually be fun (rather than a means of avoiding ridicule) to try out certain things. Given the way you've spoken to other posters on this board, it's hard to imagine how you personally would go about creating that setting.

[Storyrider]

Who said that?? In case you're referring to me, I never said any such thing to any woman on this forum.

 

No, it wasn't you.

 

If you have zero sexual boundaries, I can see how you wouldn't be sympathetic to a person who does have them.

 

Still, I'll reiterate what I said: someone setting boundaries is taking care of their own needs, not rejecting you.

[Trialbyfire]

Who said that?? In case you're referring to me, I never said any such thing to any woman on this forum.

 

And also that is totally not cool. I would never cheat on anyone! People who cheat are just too immature to break up with the person or maybe they just have no conscience, I dunno. It's also very "high school." Really lame thing to do to someone.

Refer to below quote.

 

INteresting

Post #116.

[dpr]

You need to chill. If there's any serious message in my post it's this. I don't happen to think spunk tastes all that great. Do I think it's evil and vile? No, but - and I'm really sorry for being truthful here - it isn't delicious nectar.

 

Careful now... my fragile male ego can't take the idea of a women telling me that cum is not her favorite liquid on earth!

 

Not to be boastful or anything, but unlike some other guys on this thread, I am proud to say that I have tasted cum before. And you're right. It's not necessarily delicious. Maybe an acquired taste. Strange texture at first, egg-whitey I guess you could say but not much else you could compare it to, except for ohhh, say... vaginal secretions?

 

Oh no, no, don't worry... no it tastes good, really. And it doesn't smell fishy down there AT ALL! ... Really.

 

My point is that even women who wax lyrical about it probably wouldn't choose to sit down and eat a bowl of it.

 

I wouldn't sit down and eat a bowl of vaginal secretions either, but I love slurping it down while I'm going down on a girl, because it somehow tastes better when you're all "hot and bothered" (for lack of a better term).

 

Again, it's not about the taste. It's about pleasing my partner. I hate okre (sp?) but if my gf got off on me eating okre, I'd eat it! To put it bluntly, I don't only think about what *I* like when I'm having sex with my gf. I think about what turns her on, and I try to, well... DO THAT.

 

That's why all this talk about preferences seems very weird and bit selfish to me. Turn your partner on for god's sake!

 

On that basis, I suspect some of the "I love it so much" stuff is more about attention-seeeking than anything else. Of course I could be wrong and it could be that a lot of people do just genuinely enjoy the taste.

 

I guess that's possible, kind of like how a lot of girls "pretend" to be bisexual to turn guys on. Hopefully everybody is being honest, but who knows? Some of it may be that, but just because you can't fathom how a woman would ever like such a thing, I think it would be unfair for you or anyone else to conclude that it's impossible.

 

I didn't mention finding facials degrading - though I note that in an earlier post, you seemed to be saying that you yourself think they are, but that a certain amount of degradation is often part of the thrill of sex. By your logic, we're permitted to feel degraded about it or we're permitted to rave on about it...but under no circumstances are we allowed to laugh about it.

 

Who's really the puritan here?

 

When did I say not to laugh about it? Your story seemed more over-the-top sarcastic if anything. I didn't think it was funny at all, but okay. Go ahead and laugh (?)

[dpr]

No, it wasn't you.

 

If you have zero sexual boundaries, I can see how you wouldn't be sympathetic to a person who does have them.

 

Still, I'll reiterate what I said: someone setting boundaries is taking care of their own needs, not rejecting you.

 

True. Not rejecting me. But possibly not fulfilling my needs either. So whose needs are more important then, and how should a couple determine this?

[dpr]

Refer to below quote.

 

 

Post #116.

 

wtf??? I was being sarcastic!

 

As in... "not relevant," "who cares," etc.

 

I guess it is something to think about, but who knows why that guy broke up with her or cheated on her or whatever he did. I don't know them personally.