KaraLee Posted July 17, 2003 Share Posted July 17, 2003 OK, guys I have a problem - My sister in law, Bridgett, has this friend named Lindsey. They have been friends for a long time and Bridgett is dating Lindsey's brother, so they are real close and ****. Bridgett still lives with my mother in law, and Lindsey is ALWAYS over there. She calls herself "The adopted daughter" and she calls herself "Bridgett's twin". And she wil come over there sometimes even when Bridgett isn't there just to chit chat with my mother-in-law. I mean she even comes to our family dinners and christmas and ****. Anyway, what really bothers me about her is that she always acts real flirty to my husband and always has, ever since I have known her. I mean REALLY overly flirty. When we were just dating, I just tried to look over it, because I know my husband doesn't find her attractive, and he doesn't flirt back, she is just a hoe like that. Anyway, Now that we are married, it is starting to bug me a lot. I mean she still flirts like hell and is always staring at him and ****. The other day we had a family dinner over at my mther inlaw's and of course, she was there. Towards the end of the evening, my husband went and laid down in Bridgett's room cause he was really tired and he'd only had like 3 hours of sleep the night before. I didn't know where he went, so I asked my mother-in-law if she knew where he was and before I barely got the question out LIndsey yelled "He's in Bridgett's room!". I mean damn, it's like she knows his every move and I mean it is really starting to piss me off. Other than that, she is just such a dumbass! She is always saying **** like "I love the color pink" and "I want four kids" or "I love doggies and kitties".....jsut stupid **** like that. It's like she makes a hard honest effort to be a airhead, dumbass! Anyway, i really hate her and i would feel a lot more comfortable if she wasn't at all the family functions. But I don't know what to do about this, cause her and my mother and sister in law are so close. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted July 17, 2003 Share Posted July 17, 2003 Sit down and talk to your family members that you and she are close to and come to some sort of agreement. Talk to her and tell her she has no right to flirt with your husband or for goodness sake tell your husband to say something to her. Link to post Share on other sites
karaLee Posted July 17, 2003 Share Posted July 17, 2003 Why did you even bother to respond. Don't you think I have thought about sitting down and talking to them about it? And if it were as easy as sitting down and talking to them about it, I don't think I would have even posted it as a problem, I would have just done that. But it's not like I am getting any help here either, so I guess I'll just have to figure something out on my own. Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenWonder Posted July 17, 2003 Share Posted July 17, 2003 Have you told your husband how you feel? Link to post Share on other sites
niko1999 Posted July 17, 2003 Share Posted July 17, 2003 Kara Lee, not to be rude, but you just barely posted this afternoon for one thing, sometimes it takes people some time to get around, were not all internet addicts you know. As for this girl, for one thing, how old is she? YOu say you used to not let it bother you, and you say its not that easy to talk to your husband, have you thought about talking to HER? Maybe she isnt even realizing that she is doing what she is doing, especially if she is younger. And I understand that youre pissed, but you need to chill out and relax when 8,000 people dont reply to you within a matter of hours. Lots of other people have problems too, and though yours seems very serious becuase it is your problem, there are people with bigger problems too. So not only should you talk to Bridgets freind, you also need to learn some patience and realize the world does not revolve around you. Link to post Share on other sites
beaker Posted July 18, 2003 Share Posted July 18, 2003 In the event the original post was merely a byproduct of momentary anger, I'll second Jalexy's advice. Communicating about this to someone is the only way to resolve the issue, and storming about claiming it's not that easy is ridiculous. Bring it up with one person at a time starting with your husband. When others are aware of the issue you can work together to find a solution, whether that's asking her to modify her own behaviour, excluding her from certain family functions or avoiding them yourself. This isn't rocket science. Link to post Share on other sites
karalee Posted July 18, 2003 Share Posted July 18, 2003 Yes, I have told my husband how I feel and he just says "Oh, Kara, she's just being friendly"......so he doesn't see it as flirting. But I DO! I am a girl, I know when another girl is florting with my husband. Oh - you wondered how old she is - she is frickin 17!!! And my husband is 26!!! it's crazy. The reason I have avoided saying anything to her or Bridgett or my mother-in-law is because I don't want them to cause any friction between anyone ESPECIALLY between me and my sister-in-law or my mother-in-law. I mean I am related to them, not the the little 17 year old. It's just gotten to where I dread going to family functions because I know she will be there and she gets on mynerves so bad acting like an airhead and flirting with my husband. And it would just be nice to go and see my in-laws, the ones I truly want to see, without her big mouth in the middle of every conversation I try to have. I could understand if she was part of the family, but she isn't. And I am tired of everyone acting like she is. And most of all, I am tired of her flirting with my husband. And I think she knows good and damn well what she is doing. I mean, I would like to get her out of the way, but her and my sister-in-law are very close and I don't want to cause any friction between us. I don't know......... Link to post Share on other sites
Pookette Posted July 18, 2003 Share Posted July 18, 2003 I'm here...didn't read your post though. You just wanted replies, right? Link to post Share on other sites
jessicakicksbut Posted July 18, 2003 Share Posted July 18, 2003 #1 why are you letting a 17 year old bother you? If you and your husbands relationship is in fact strong enough, a minor who is just gwaking over your husband will have no affect on him. #2 just as you think it is "rude" when people don't respond to your posts instantaneously, I think it is rude how excessively you used fould language in your forum. And what is with the *'s...isn't your vocabulary expansive enough that you don't need to use four letter words all the time. #3 piece of advice for next time...post an intelligent sounding post, adn you will get an intelligent response Link to post Share on other sites
turtle Posted July 19, 2003 Share Posted July 19, 2003 Why do you care so much about a 17 year old flirting with your husband? Isn't the ring on YOUR finger and not his? Link to post Share on other sites
turtle Posted July 19, 2003 Share Posted July 19, 2003 By the way, you should try and be more friendly with your sister in law's friend. Maybe all the flirting is a cry for attention. After all, if she spends so much time at your mother in law's house (even for holidays) then she must not have a very happy family life of her own. If your mother-in-law has accepted your sister in law's friend as an adopted member of the family then you should respect that. You don't have to be friends with the girl, but you should be polite and civil to her. Link to post Share on other sites
turtle Posted July 19, 2003 Share Posted July 19, 2003 You know, after thinking about it, I had a similar problem awhile back. It's actually a common problem, but it's usually with the mother in law. I had the same feelings toward my boyfriend's sister as you do your sister in law's friend. Though, my boyfriend's sister wasn't after him to date just as I don't think your sister in law's friend has any romantic interest in your husband. Since your sister-in-law's friend is almost part of the family, she may see your husband as an "adopted brother." Anyhow, my boyfriend's sister would constantly call him asking him to hang out and always gave hims lots of attention at family gatherings. (She is 12 years younger than him.) I am not going to go into specific details, but I developed a hatred towards her. When I tried to talk to my boyfriend about it, he would say things like "she just wants to be a part of it" (meaning part of his life) or she is "just happy to see me." He thought the problem was me and not her. I dealt with the problem by ignoring it completely. Talking leads to conflict with my boyfriend, so I let it go. I only see his family occasionally and when I do, I avoid getting into conversations with her. When my boyfriend talks about her or her name gets brought up, I don't say anything. If you are close to the rest of his family, you might try inviting them out to lunch more. Getting them away from their home to visit might allow you to spend quality time with them without the presence of the sister in law's friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Oxydol Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 I'm a newbie to this board and how welcome I'll be is unknown, but I did want to post something in response to this situation. Obviously, your husband sees nothing wrong with this girl's behaviour. Don't forget, he's a man and probably enjoys the attention he's receiving from her. Unfortunately, any complaints or criticism of the girl seems to only be turned back against you. You cannot fight that battle with any success. My advice is to do my best to avoid and ignore the girl, but if she really begins pushing your buttons or someone begins to discuss her with you in a manner that rankles you, the best response is silence with an icy glare. Then you might interject something along the lines of "Hasn't the weather been unusually warm this season?" Let it be said however, that Oxydol gives fantastic and spot on advice, but has great trouble following it. On one occasion, an unfortunate individual was playing far too much attention to Oxydol's then boyfriend. After about two hours of observing this behaviour, I informed the offending individual that if the actions continued, the police would eventually end up making a chalk outline on the floor of a corpse. The silly fool departed immediately in a flurry of embarassment. Meanwhile the masses turned on Oxydol for having spoken up. It's an interesting commentary on society when slutty behaviour toward's another's beau is considered acceptable, but raising an objection to it is not. Link to post Share on other sites
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