Guys: would you date a girl with herpes

[tanbark813]

Can you get purple skin from sleeping with someone purple? No.

 

That sucks. Purple skin would be sweet. I'd totally nail a purple chick.

 

[Replicant]

It actually is relevant. I'm not saying cheating is okay, however, it's one thing to knowingly pass on the disease, then to pass it on not knowing you have it.

 

This is the mindset as to why diseases are getting rampant. You advocate disclosure or the "Knowing" makes it alright to ferry over a disease onto someone else (which would make it accidental) ooops. Where as the "Not knowing" is completely opposite and makes it a completely wrongful act. Your advice is based upon modern day political correctness and nothing more, you are just being selective in which disease you apply such thinking to.

[dreamergrl]

This is the mindset as to why diseases are getting rampant. You advocate disclosure or the "Knowing" makes it alright to ferry over a disease onto someone else (which would make it accidental) ooops. Where as the "Not knowing" is completely opposite and makes it a completely wrongful act. Your advice is based upon modern day political correctness and nothing more, you are just being selective in which disease you apply such thinking to.

 

I'm talking diseases in general. I never said knowingly having a disease and passing it on is right either. Quite the opposite. I said knowingly passing something on is different then unknowingly. I'm not being selective about anything.

[Tomcat33]

How do you really know WHEN you get herpes if it can stay dormant for many years undetected?

 

The assumption is to deduce "my cheating b/f is slutting around therefore he gave it to me" but it could have very well have been from someone else from the past, no?

 

Dreamgrl I get what you are saying.

[D-Lish]

Hmmm... I think the stats are a little screwed up.. 33% or even 25% of the general population does not get HSV2 outbreaks. I think I read somewhere that 1 in 4 sexually active people have been exposed to the virus, but people actually getting HSV2 genetal outbreaks, I bet it's no more than 1 in 20. Those are the people you will catch it from.

 

I would steer clear of dating someone that had HSV2 outbreaks and definitely knew they had HSV2. Just as I wouldn't date someone with one of the nasty obvious strains of HPV or HIV.

 

Actually- your understanding is wrong... just check out the AMA or CDC website... You'll get the best up to date stats..

 

Aprrox 1 in 4... 80% of those people don't know because the symptoms they manifest are mild or nil. Check it out.

 

http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm#common

[dreamergrl]

How do you really know WHEN you get herpes if it can stay dormant for many years undetected?

 

The assumption is to deduce "my cheating b/f is slutting around therefore he gave it to me" but it could have very well have been from someone else from the past, no?

 

Dreamgrl I get what you are saying.

 

You can get a blood test, but you have to ask for it. It needs to be about 4 months after your last sack session.

 

And yes, you could have gotten it from your past, or he could have gotten it, but not know it cuz he lacked the symptoms and just didn't realize it.

[Tomcat33]

You can get a blood test, but you have to ask for it. It needs to be about 4 months after your last sack session.

 

And yes, you could have gotten it from your past, or he could have gotten it, but not know it cuz he lacked the symptoms and just didn't realize it.

 

 

Ok but how can they tell who it came from because if you are having regular sex with your partner and it's been dormant in you for 5 yrs say and suddenly you get an erruption but your b/f also happens to have gone astray then how do they pin point who gave it to you?

 

that was more my question...

[dreamergrl]

Ok but how can they tell who it came from because if you are having regular sex with your partner and it's been dormant in you for 5 yrs say and suddenly you get an erruption but your b/f also happens to have gone astray then how do they pin point who gave it to you?

 

that was more my question...

 

You really can't. Unless you get tested regular - and make sure to do it at the appropriate time frame, you'll have a hard time figuring it out.

[Tomcat33]

You really can't. Unless you get tested regular - and make sure to do it at the appropriate time frame, you'll have a hard time figuring it out.

 

 

Exactly that is precisely what my understanding was.

 

So having said that I think the discussion that seems to want to be reinforced here that her cheating b/f gave it to her, should be left at "she thinks". And going back to your earlier comment that her b/f knew or not IS relevant, if she can't prove he gave it to her she can't completely blame him either.

 

So I agree with you it is one thing to pass it on knowingly and another to do it by accident and not knowing you even have it.

 

 

Herpes is one of those things that people always say well "x" gave it to me about some "bad" ex they have, but how do you REALLY know who gave it to you?

[D-Lish]

Ok but how can they tell who it came from because if you are having regular sex with your partner and it's been dormant in you for 5 yrs say and suddenly you get an erruption but your b/f also happens to have gone astray then how do they pin point who gave it to you?

 

that was more my question...

 

Normally- and I say this just going by how the virus manifests itself via it's normal pattern... one will have their first outbreak 2-10 days following contact. It won't however show up in the blood work until after a couple months.

 

How can anyone say for sure? they cannot.

 

One can only go by the normal pattern of the virus... The first outbreak is USUALLY the worst- and it usually occurs shortly after sexual contact. So, if you are in a long term monogamous relationship, and you get a wicked outbreak of sores on your genitals... it's a good indicator that your current partner passed it on to you. Especially if you get bloodwork at the same time and the antibodies don't show up (because there hasn't been sufficient time for them to manifest).

 

Blood tests should be a request of everyone along with the regular screening.

[Tomcat33]

Normally- and I say this just going by how the virus manifests itself via it's normal pattern... one will have their first outbreak 2-10 days following contact. It won't however show up in the blood work until after a couple months.

 

How can anyone say for sure? they cannot.

 

One can only go by the normal pattern of the virus... The first outbreak is USUALLY the worst- and it usually occurs shortly after sexual contact. So, if you are in a long term monogamous relationship, and you get a wicked outbreak of sores on your genitals... it's a good indicator that your current partner passed it on to you. Especially if you get bloodwork at the same time and the antibodies don't show up (because there hasn't been sufficient time for them to manifest).

 

Blood tests should be a request of everyone along with the regular screening.

 

 

Ohh interesting so THAT'S how it works...hmmm I did not know that. Thanks for explaining that!

 

Ok so then when I have read that it can be dormant and undetected for many years it is taking into account one outbreak that has already happened? Because it that is the case then I suppose it is not undetectable it was just neglect? I mean but how could you neglect if you break out?

 

sorry no offence to anyone I've been scarred from those pics they showed us in sex ed class back in highschool

[Star Gazer]

How many people ask for an STD test report on a quarterly basis for the past year before kissing? 80-90% of the population has HSV-1 (the cold sore virus), which can easily be transmitted to the genitals.

[Star Gazer]

Have you had an STD test that included TYPING for HSV? MOST STD tests do NOT include HSV.

 

I have never had a cold sore in my life and I have never kissed a guy with a visible cold sore.

 

Assuming that one has to have to have a visible outbreak in order to pass the virus is a contributing factor in why so many people have contracted HSV (1 and 2).

 

Think about this next time you receive oral sex: If the person lapping at your genitals has HSV-1 (which there is a 80-90% chance that they do!), you've been exposed to herpes.

[SouthernT]

Yeah, what I think is funny is that the ex who they got herpes from is condemned and "bad" yet these people who have it are trying to convince us that they are "good" "not promiscuous" and "dateable." Whatever.

 

Dude, it's bad because he didnt tell her. You can't even pass it along UNLESS you have had an INITIAL outbreak. That's the only way he could have passed it to her. So in other words, since she got it from him, then he KNEW that he had because he would have already had an outbreak.

 

What we are talking about here is giving people the option and the oppurtunity UPFRONT to make informed decisions and take extra precautions before bumpin your ugly with someone elses ugly.

[Krytie TV]

How many people ask for an STD test report on a quarterly basis for the past year before kissing? 80-90% of the population has HSV-1 (the cold sore virus), which can easily be transmitted to the genitals.

 

No, SG, it's not so easy. The two types prefer their natural environment. The virus can cross over from oral to vaginal, but it is not as likely. So the term easily is very convenient and misleading.

 

Also, and this is what a doctor told me six years ago when I asked... I haven't researched it myself, but if you have HSV-1, you are less likely to be infected with HSV-II because the virus already exists in your body.

[Star Gazer]

No, SG, it's not so easy. The two types prefer their natural environment. The virus can cross over from oral to vaginal, but it is not as likely. So the term easily is very convenient and misleading.

 

Also, and this is what a doctor told me six years ago when I asked... I haven't researched it myself, but if you have HSV-1, you are less likely to be infected with HSV-II because the virus already exists in your body.

 

Okay, well it's so good to know you're so well educated and informed on this issue.

 

You're wrong on both counts.

 

(1) HSV-1 and HSV-2 are two completely different viruses. Having one makes you no more or less susceptible to the other. If you get one, you can get the other.

 

(2) While historically HSV-1 was more likely to be found on the mouth, HSV-1 really doesn't "prefer" either environment. It really, really likes BOTH. Of those dudes and GF's who have advised me that they have it, ALL of them have HSV-1... and guess where? On their genitals. One guy got his first outbreak 3 days after a blowjob from a virgin when he was 18 (and he was also a virgin).

 

Thoughts like yours are part of the problem. You can get tested for HSV, come back with a positive result for HSV-1 (like 80-90% of people will!), and think what you have is limited to your mouth/lips, when in reality it very well could also be in your genital region. If you're of the 50-80% of people that don't know they have herpes, it's likely because you've (a) never had an outbreak, or (b) your outbreaks are so minor that you thought you only had an itch for a day. So, you go about life thinking you're "genital" herpes free and only suffer from a cold sore every winter or every 4 years, when you're really not in the clear at all. Next thing you know, you're having unprotected sex with a new GF who you love and adore thinking you're A-okay (and she does too because she's also uninformed), who then comes down with an outbreak on her genitals, thinks you've cheated on her, and all hell breaks loose.

 

That said, HSV-2 does greatly prefer the genital region though, I'll give ya that much.

[D-Lish]

No, SG, it's not so easy. The two types prefer their natural environment. The virus can cross over from oral to vaginal, but it is not as likely. So the term easily is very convenient and misleading.

 

Also, and this is what a doctor told me six years ago when I asked... I haven't researched it myself, but if you have HSV-1, you are less likely to be infected with HSV-II because the virus already exists in your body.

 

Again, that's a misconception. They do "prefer" their natural environment- but can still be transferred. Percentages are lowered. I have done the research... I dated someone with H... So I did do the research.

 

It's perhaps not "easily" done, but still very possible. Hsv 1 & 2 live in both the oral and genital regions. It's just something to be aware of, ya know?

 

Less likely, yes- but never exempt... We're human beings...we carry and transfer ****.

 

It's just always important to be diligent and protect yourself... that should start with education.

 

Am I going to abstain from kissing someone that has had a coldsore?

No- I am not that shallow. Is it a risk to my genitals? Always! It's always a risk. Kissing, sex, etc, it's a risk. It's good to be educated.

[Krytie TV]

Again, that's a misconception. They do "prefer" their natural environment- but can still be transferred. Percentages are lowered. I have done the research... I dated someone with H... So I did do the research.

 

Ummm... that's exactly what I said.

[macon]

"Imagine if people went and got themselves tested regularly and people didn't spread it knowingly or unknowingly. It could limit the spread so that people like pandagirl wouldn't have contracted it."

 

Trialbyfire - go and do some reading! It is not possible to know with 100% certainty that you are virus free. I always find it sad when on TV someone says "I had a blood test and I'm clear" as if that is a magic ticket to sexual health - this is not black and white.

 

The vast majority of the population play host to the Herpes Simplex Virus somewhere on their bodies - that's a fact. We should stop talking about it as some scary incurable disease, and realise that the majority of us host it. For some people it's a big problem, for most it isn't. Safe sex is great - but won't protect you 100% - disclosure and honesty is great too. Let's stop stigmatising each other and realise that all sexual interaction carries risk, including kissing. You need to educate yourself, practice safe sex, and make decisions on that basis, not on the basis of ignorance and fear.

 

I disclose my HSV status to new partners - but none of them have ever disclosed the fact of oral herpes to me - which they absolutely should by the same logic. They just don't realise it's important - because they aren't educated - so they could be happily passing the virus on and not knowing it. In my opinion it is the people who don't know they have it, and the people who have it orally who don't think to mention it, who are most likely to spread the virus - not someone who is aware and is educated about their HSV status.

 

Although all herpes transference is unlikely unless symptons are present (so if you know you have it you can avoid sexual contact at that time), someone who has had oral herpes at some point in their lives is just as much of a sexual risk as someone who already has genital herpes.

[dreamergrl]

Dude, it's bad because he didnt tell her. You can't even pass it along UNLESS you have had an INITIAL outbreak. That's the only way he could have passed it to her. So in other words, since she got it from him, then he KNEW that he had because he would have already had an outbreak.

 

What we are talking about here is giving people the option and the oppurtunity UPFRONT to make informed decisions and take extra precautions before bumpin your ugly with someone elses ugly.

 

The bolded is incorrect.

[dreamergrl]

No, SG, it's not so easy. The two types prefer their natural environment. The virus can cross over from oral to vaginal, but it is not as likely. So the term easily is very convenient and misleading.

 

Also, and this is what a doctor told me six years ago when I asked... I haven't researched it myself, but if you have HSV-1, you are less likely to be infected with HSV-II because the virus already exists in your body.

 

This is also incorrect because they are two completely different strains

[dreamergrl]

I have never had a cold sore in my life and I have never kissed a guy with a visible cold sore.

 

Visible is the keyword keyword - did you have a guy open his mouth wide open and inspect?

[dreamergrl]

You can have an initial outbreak and not fully realize it's herpes because the initial outbreak isn't always as severe as it is for some people. There are some cases where the "bump" can be mistaken for an ingrown hair. Some people don't break out with tons of blisters, just one in one spot. If it's not a spot you can see or feel up on a normal basis, you may never know it's there.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Okay, well it's so good to know you're so well educated and informed on this issue.

 

You're wrong on both counts.

 

(1) HSV-1 and HSV-2 are two completely different viruses. Having one makes you no more or less susceptible to the other. If you get one, you can get the other.

 

(2) While historically HSV-1 was more likely to be found on the mouth, HSV-1 really doesn't "prefer" either environment. It really, really likes BOTH. Of those dudes and GF's who have advised me that they have it, ALL of them have HSV-1... and guess where? On their genitals. One guy got his first outbreak 3 days after a blowjob from a virgin when he was 18 (and he was also a virgin).

 

Without looking at the molecular structure I can't say for certain how dissimilar the two viruses are, however I can say that they manifest themselves in VERY similar ways.

 

If you know how our immune system works, it detects viruses using... glycoproteins if I remember correctly. That's why one virus such as cowpox can provide you immunity to smallpox as well... even though the viruses are different.

 

So, in my opinion Krytie's physician has a very good chance of being correct in his statement.

[dreamergrl]

 

So, in my opinion Krytie's physician has a very good chance of being correct in his statement.

 

Krytie's physician told him this 6 years ago, do you realize how much progress has been made since then?? New things have came into play.