The truth of living the single life.

[ABrokenWing]

When someone tells you that they are completly happy being single, are complete liars.

 

If you're in your 30's or above and single, people assume that either your S.O is dead, you're gay, a pervert, or a wierdo...No, I'm not a wierdo...just trying to be real with myself..

 

Being my age and single sucks, and if anyone tells you they are happy and single, they are hiding the truth that behind closed doors, they are some of the most lonely people ever to live.

 

The single life sucks, and that is the truth.

 

I truely believe some ppl are happy being single in their 30's. That being said, I will not be one of those ppl. I am approching 30 this year, and thought I'd be settled with a husband and a couple kids by now.

[lovestruck818]

When someone tells you that they are completly happy being single, are complete liars.

 

If you're in your 30's or above and single, people assume that either your S.O is dead, you're gay, a pervert, or a wierdo...No, I'm not a wierdo...just trying to be real with myself..

 

Being my age and single sucks, and if anyone tells you they are happy and single, they are hiding the truth that behind closed doors, they are some of the most lonely people ever to live.

 

The single life sucks, and that is the truth.

 

I think it is different for everyone- you can't really generalise like that. For starter, I am 26 and not single, so I really have no experience with being in my 30's and single...but I have friends and relatives who are. While alot of them do want to find someone to settle down with, some really have no desire and like the situation they are in. They work alot, they spend their money on them, they enevr have to compromise or try & please anyone else and mostly they don't have to endure the drama that relationships can cause...which is why we all post on this board...a relationship is not without it's problems. Personally for me, I like being in a relationship, but I could see how there are some single people out there who honestly do enjoy it.

[BiAxident]

If you've been single your entire life, then you lack the perspective to appreciate the advantages of being single. Admittedly, I didn't desire to regain my single status, but since I've been single, I've encountered many positive scenarios.

 

I go where I want, when I want, with who I want, for as long as I want and I come home as late as I want. I haven't been subjected to a single episode of American Idol, What Not To Wear, Project Runway, or any other reality-television. I can cook the food I want to eat, wear the clothes I wish to put on, get up when I please, play video-games all day if I see fit, I save money on groceries, I get the bed to myself, the bathroom to myself, I don't have to dodge seventeen fricken pairs of shoes, or deal with other people's cats. I am not subjected to anyone's mood swings, I never "have to talk", nor do I have to hear how someone else's day went when I don't really care in the first place. I can decorate as I see fit, I save money on presents/flowers/dinners and I am the master of my own emotions.

 

If you want to put your happiness in the hands of another fallible human being, more power to you. Frankly, I enjoy being in charge of myself, responsible for only myself, and accountable to only myself. Friends, pets, and the occasional one-night stand will take care of the rest.

 

But hey, don't let me interrupt you, after all, I'm obviously lying. Right?

[kodts]

If you've been single your entire life, then you lack the perspective to appreciate the advantages of being single. Admittedly, I didn't desire to regain my single status, but since I've been single, I've encountered many positive scenarios.

 

I go where I want, when I want, with who I want, for as long as I want and I come home as late as I want. I haven't been subjected to a single episode of American Idol, What Not To Wear, Project Runway, or any other reality-television. I can cook the food I want to eat, wear the clothes I wish to put on, get up when I please, play video-games all day if I see fit, I save money on groceries, I get the bed to myself, the bathroom to myself, I don't have to dodge seventeen fricken pairs of shoes, or deal with other people's cats. I am not subjected to anyone's mood swings, I never "have to talk", nor do I have to hear how someone else's day went when I don't really care in the first place. I can decorate as I see fit, I save money on presents/flowers/dinners and I am the master of my own emotions.

 

If you want to put your happiness in the hands of another fallible human being, more power to you. Frankly, I enjoy being in charge of myself, responsible for only myself, and accountable to only myself. Friends, pets, and the occasional one-night stand will take care of the rest.

 

But hey, don't let me interrupt you, after all, I'm obviously lying. Right?

 

Agree but you don't have to be single your entire life to not understand the benefits. You could have had relationships but haven't had one in years.

 

You sound like you had a recent relationship so the feelings of being tied down are still there. But what if it's been 5 years? Eventually you'll get the itch again. You'll feel like playing that game alone for the 10,000th time is gettin a liiiiittle boring.

 

--

 

My take on the OP post is that if you're over 30, single, and have innate trait about you that makes you un-wantable, then heck yeah it's depressing. IOW, if you're involuntarily single. But if you're voluntarily single of couse you can still be happy. But those are two completely different situations.

[tgrgrlx]

Hi. I am a 37 year old woman, who is in a relationship with a man that i've been seeing for 6 months now. I would like to say that it is a "good " one, but I do feel like beating my head against the wall ALOT! I feel that I am a happier healthier person when i'm a part of a relationship. However, it has become increasingly apparant to me that sinle is sometimes better, especially if being involved leaves you feeling frustrated & resentful . I do NOT want to be single, but life is to short to waste it on something that will go nowhere. there is something to be said for having "piece of mind"... Please read my posts under dating & tell me what oyu think. It's titled "Hang in there or give up" Good luck finding someone worthy & special:)

[Angels&Airwaves]

Agree but you don't have to be single your entire life to not understand the benefits. You could have had relationships but haven't had one in years.

 

You sound like you had a recent relationship so the feelings of being tied down are still there. But what if it's been 5 years? Eventually you'll get the itch again. You'll feel like playing that game alone for the 10,000th time is gettin a liiiiittle boring.

 

--

 

My take on the OP post is that if you're over 30, single, and have innate trait about you that makes you un-wantable, then heck yeah it's depressing. IOW, if you're involuntarily single. But if you're voluntarily single of couse you can still be happy. But those are two completely different situations.

 

 

I was involuntarily single and then spent time doing the things I enjoyed and by fulfilling some of my ambitions and pursuing my interests, I became voluntarily single. It’s a mind over matter concept, live the life you want to live and love the life you do lead and you’ll be fine.

[spookie]

Hey,

 

The problem with having your life in the gutter is that there are SO MANY things to make you unhappy, that it's unclear where to focus. I've been there... last year, I was heartbroken over the loss of a relationship, disowned by my family, dealing with the emotional consequences of having had an abortion that I regretted, unemployed, and un-enrolled in school, where I had made a mess of my GPA. I was depressed, and it's not hard to see why. However, I attributed most of my depression to missing my ex, so while my life fell apart around me, I stayed in my room, replayed memories in my head like DVD's, and cried.

 

Everything is tied together. Having a job you are proud of, and enjoy, makes you more confident and happy. COnfidence and happiness make you more attractive to others, and enable you to have healthy relationships, which also make you happy. Same goes for having friends, being satisfied with your appearance, feeling independent, having a good relationship with your family, etc.

 

I don't think you are depressed just becuase you are single. I think the issues are bigger than that, and instead of being so hard on yourself (which accomplishes nothing) you need to tackle those issues, one by one.

 

If YOU don't like your job, look for a better one. From what you've said, it sounds like you live in a very rural area, so maybe the job prospects there aren't so good. Is there any way you can look for a job elsewhere and move? I know you can... the trick is to believe it, and get things done. Maybe that's not the right answer, though... it's just an example. YOU know what the right answers are. What kind of life do you want to live? You mentioned a wife, kids, etc. but I'm sure there's more to it than that. It's only when you have all your ducks in a row in other aspects of your life that those things really become feasible.

 

So, my advice to you, my good friend, is to look around, and get started on getting what you want.

 

And whether it's possible to be happy and single... yah, lots of people are. Not only is it possible, but it's important. I firmly believe that until you are single all-around, you'll never have a good relationship.

[jon01]

Besides' date=' when we die we're all gonna be completely alone... either completely alone facing our Maker, or completely alone alone (depending on what you believe). The same goes for those happily coupled people who think they're going to be together forever. [/quote']

 

How would you know? And what do you believe in, to tell us this?

[Suiyobi]

When someone tells you that they are completly happy being single, are complete liars.

 

If you're in your 30's or above and single, people assume that either your S.O is dead, you're gay, a pervert, or a wierdo...No, I'm not a wierdo...just trying to be real with myself..

 

Being my age and single sucks, and if anyone tells you they are happy and single, they are hiding the truth that behind closed doors, they are some of the most lonely people ever to live.

 

The single life sucks, and that is the truth.

 

Truer words have never been spoken...

[Karyyk]

I just arrived at the big 3-0 this year, and while I will admit that I'd rather be in a good relationship with a caring, loving woman, the fact is that I'm not. One thing I'll also say, is that after seeing enough people get married to the wrong person (settling and jumping at the first available person that came along...this applies to men and women), I'd also rather do without the heartache that goes along with that.

 

If you're not totally content with being single (and honestly, despite the exceptions, most people really aren't, even if they're otherwise happy), just remember that it's far better than being trapped in a bad relationship, withdrawn, alienated from other people you care about, and in some cases, regretting you're still on this earth. I've seen it happen, to more people close to me than I'd like to think about. At least when you're single, there's still some sense of hope...a lot of people feel completely trapped in loveless relationships, even when they're not. Taking that into account, 30 and single isn't so bad. Hell, 60 and single isn't so bad. Like someone already said, the loneliness of being single is better than the loneliness of being in a bad relationship and feeling like there's nothing you can do to escape from it.

[LonelyVocalist]

When someone tells you that they are completly happy being single, are complete liars.

 

If you're in your 30's or above and single, people assume that either your S.O is dead, you're gay, a pervert, or a wierdo...No, I'm not a wierdo...just trying to be real with myself..

 

Being my age and single sucks, and if anyone tells you they are happy and single, they are hiding the truth that behind closed doors, they are some of the most lonely people ever to live.

 

The single life sucks, and that is the truth.

 

I'm glad I'm not alone in this respect...

 

Well, to me, it's not that the single life sucks... but it's the fact that it's old. After dealing with it for 20 years, it's the same thing every day. It's gotten to the point where it feels like it's some sort of omen... that the only purpose in my life is to show others how NOT to live your life.

 

But yeah, the single life definately has it's downsides.

 

How about having a female friend and all your guy friends telling you "Why don't you get with her!?!?"

[KidEternity]

When someone tells you that they are completly happy being single, are complete liars.

 

If you're in your 30's or above and single, people assume that either your S.O is dead, you're gay, a pervert, or a wierdo...No, I'm not a wierdo...just trying to be real with myself..

 

Being my age and single sucks, and if anyone tells you they are happy and single, they are hiding the truth that behind closed doors, they are some of the most lonely people ever to live.

 

The single life sucks, and that is the truth.

 

Single life doesn't suck for me, well I'm 20. Yeah sometimes I'd kinda like someone to talk to but I certainly don't miss all the crap that comes with a relationship.

 

Being treated like a child, being talked down to, the "where have you been" always have to answer to significant other, the scary confined feeling of being in a relationship.

 

When you're single you're free, no one to answer to, no one to call you up moaning at night, no one to annoy you etc. You've got free time, do whatever you want, see whoever you want.

 

If I'm honest the only thing I miss about relationships is the initial chase and finding about about someone/connecting with them and I can get that being single meeting people too! Maybe when I'm older I'll find a proper relationship but hell hopefully that ain't for a good 10 years...

 

You don't have to be in a relationship to be happy, that is what people want you to think. Don't define your life by being with someone, define it by the things you do and who you are as a person.

 

As soon as you see that is no big deal being single then you can start getting into relationships

[JohnnyBlaze]

Single life doesn't suck for me, well I'm 20. Yeah sometimes I'd kinda like someone to talk to but I certainly don't miss all the crap that comes with a relationship.

 

When I was your age, I would've said the same thing (well, one year older - at 20 I was engaged), but when you hit 30, something really creepy happens. Instead of looking around and seeing your single friends partying until dawn and saying "yeah, that's the life for me", you start looking at the friends who are married and have a kid starting second grade and you say "you know? That doesn't look so bad". It sounds weird, but it happens. Even to us guys.

[Fritz The Cat]

Being in a relationship with someone who is totally wrong for you is far worst than loneliness. Those who have been in such a relationship will tell you that loneliness can be a tremendous relief.

[stillafool]

Well apparently alot more people like being single these days. It was reported today that marriage is down 20% since the 1970's. The biggest drop ever.

[jimbo101]

I'm single and happy cos I can do whatever I want, any time, any where...! When I need to talk to someone, I'm always have a good confidante by my side...

[OpenBook]

If you want to put your happiness in the hands of another fallible human being, more power to you. Frankly, I enjoy being in charge of myself, responsible for only myself, and accountable to only myself. Friends, pets, and the occasional one-night stand will take care of the rest.

 

BiAx, I love the way you put this. I feel exactly the same way. Ah, sweet, precious freedom.:love:

[Pluto]

Well apparently alot more people like being single these days. It was reported today that marriage is down 20% since the 1970's. The biggest drop ever.

 

Does the statistic take into account the amount of couples in LTR who do not wish to marry?

 

I am comfortable being single and I am happily single; though if a nice woman walked into my life I could contemplate getting to a relationship.

 

A Relationship with the right person means you do not have to resort to sacrificing every whim for your partners happiness. Relationships do not have to be oppressive, they are because we humans choose incompatiable mates.

[Lizzie60]

I am a happy single..

 

I only rely on MYSELF to make ME happy... it's ME, ME, ME.. from now on...

 

I just can't see myself with a man full time .. it would drive me insane.

 

I love my space.. I DON'T want to share my 'bulle" for now..

[Suiyobi]

I've been single throughout my entire life. My LDR and any infatuations I've had in the past don't count (although that's not to say my experiences were meaningless). And honestly, I'm kinda jealous of those who've been in physically-close relationships before. So much so that I actually want to experience all the joy and hardships that many of you have gone through. I want to know what it feels like. I want to grow mentally and emotionally. But that hasn't happened yet. And no amount of reading or living "vicariously" through others is going to help me. I need to experience the "non-single" life myself.

 

Don't get me wrong though, I may sound desperate but I'm not. It's not like I'm just gonna throw myself out there to everyone. But if opportunity knocks, I'll go for it.

[Pluto]

Suiyobi - I understand what you are saying! I've never had a girlfriend before and I am curious to know what it is like, but I am in no rush to enter a relationship like you are, too.

 

Though jealousy is a negative trait in this context, you shouldn't become jealous because you'll meet someone whether you want to or not.

[Suiyobi]

You're right, I shouldn't have said "jealous". Now that I look back at it, it's a very harsh word to describe how I actually feel. I'm more curious than anything, like you said.

[carhill]

Guys, I was single for a lot of years and didn't get married until after 40. The one positive thing I will say about marriage is that it helped me grow as a person. Sometimes, growth is painful

 

See, I remained positive

 

One piece of advice I could pass on.... when single and contemplating a relationship, be sure to have a sizable chunk of discretionary time to fill up, because a R/M will suck a lot of your time. I'm not saying that's bad, but, if you have a lot of existing responsibilities, a relationship can really cause some stress in that area, depending on your psychology. Being a "get it done" kind of guy, I get frustrated from not being able to get it done (to my satisfaction) anymore due to time constraints. That's my own fault, for having too much on my plate prior to getting M.

 

If I was being brutally honest, I'd say I'm wiser and more complete being married but I was happier being single.

[Lizzie60]

Carhill.. I looove your honesty..

 

It was the opposite for me.. I became single in my early 50s... I am waaay happier now, being single, than all the relationships I've had..

[monkey00]

I've always been single up until I hit college where I actually started dating and being in various types of relationships. To be perfectly honest I didn't care about dating or relationships when I was a teenager. Though I'm back to being single again...after having been through what I have, I think exclusive relationships and yes even sex can be highly overrated.

 

But it's also what you call wishful thinking. A lot of times we want what we can't have, and when we do have it we may not want it anymore...it goes to show how human we really are.

 

I'm not really speaking on a pessimistic perspective, but I'm just saying there will always be ups and downs in any stage of your life whether you're single or with someone. But the truth of the matter is you lose a lot of your 'you' time when you wind up being exclusive with someone.