She Just Called!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tealeafbud]

This will all be over soon.

 

Then maybe you could help other people that are in your situation, or post what you've learned from your experience.

 

midnight is the deadline, right? which time zone?

[justaman99]

It's kinda like watching a car burn on the side of the road. There's no hope, but people stop and look anyway

 

I just saw a car fully engulfed about an hour ago on the side of the road. It's not something you see everyday and it's one of those things where you're curious about the chaos.

[underpants]

Turn your phone off.

 

I dare you.

[justaman99]

I am gonna call this bitch if I don't hear from her.

 

You call her a bitch and you want her back? why do I even bother reading this garbage anymore.

[Far Behind]

You call her a bitch and you want her back? why do I even bother reading this garbage anymore.

 

Back to the car wreck analogy...it's so grotesque, yet somehow we just can't stop staring...

[justaman99]

Back to the car wreck analogy...it's so grotesque, yet somehow we just can't stop staring...

 

You're right. It really is something totally abnormal and twisted. I'm trying to feel for the guy but he brings it all on himself.

[underpants]

YYY,

 

Just stop for a minute.

 

Relax, take a clean breath and let it out.

 

How did you two meet and what is the story? What led up to the split?

 

From what I understand you have known her for 10ish years and dated each other for 2.

 

Any prior breaking up and getting back together? Any other big fights or problems? Any other instances of cheating?

[justaman99]

So I call back and leave her this voicemail saying, "So this is how you're going to leave things? You call me and tease me all week? You think that's funny? I just wanted to say goodbye to you in person, etc".

 

 

I've uploaded her voicemails as MP3s, and I'm sending them to Mr. Wonderful.

 

You're f'n nuts. If you took even half of this crazy negative energy you got, you could probably figure out how the universe was created.

[underpants]

I am glad I asked and I am glad you took the time to post it.

 

I hope you read it until you can see the information given objectively.

 

This relationship of yours seems to be really unstable. It seems to have been unstable for so long that that instability defines your attraction to each other. On some level you have to know that it is not heathy. Do you like how you are feeling now?

 

You had doubts from the beginning. You returned home and got involved with her during her marriage. Then she gets a jealous reaction because of an ex of yours and to counteract that (instead of talking to you about it) she talks to her ex (and others). You react with a controlling type jealousy. It is so dysfunctional YYY. There is a better way.

 

Her issues are not your fault and really you two seem to bring out the worst in each other. Gosh, she said she wouldn't have cheated on you if she wasn't "bored". Lordy.

 

I know it is hard to lose someone you care for. Sometimes it really is for the best. She sounds like a train wreck.

 

What type of girl would be your ideal?

 

Would you be willing to take some time away from Miss. Not Wonderful to explore how you could gain some more positive benefits from an ending to what reads to be a not so happy story?

 

Lets think about that.

[wowIlose]

oh god.. get a grip dude... you want her to get a restraining order against you? You want her to drag you to court for intruding her privacy and trying to ruin her life? Your making this so much worse dude.. your coming of a whacko. STOP AND THINK, thinkkkkkk or just try to. Can you not see how your becoming more and more irrational and self destructive?

 

You need to stop this now, ITS DONE MAN. She will not want you back, your not acheiving anything by doing this, absolutely nothing. Any chance at reconciliation has been killed, squashed, smothered and sent to hell and sealed by Satan himself because of your irrational and impulsive actions.

 

Come on guy, at least TRY to be rational for two seconds.

[GodofNietzsche]

You are heading down a path of self-destruction. Nothing good can come from vengeful behavior.

[serendip]

I just sent Mr. Wonderful a nice, friendly e-mail for his birthday. I attached my ex's incriminating voicemails as an MP3. heh

 

 

you say you love her...dude you don't love anyone...your behaviour is selfish and reeks of desperation

[tkgirl]

You call her a bitch and you want her back? why do I even bother reading this garbage anymore.

 

word! that's why I'm NOT going to look at this guys ranting BS anymore.. he needs more help than anyone here can give him... maybe if we ALL stop responding he will do just that.. I'm not trying to sound cold.. I really hope he does pull out of this and soon...

going to unsubscribe to this thread now...

[serendip]

Love her? Uh, no. MY behavior is selfish? **** HER!

 

Dude,

 

You are doing this to yourself. You know she uses you just like you used her in the past. You keep blaming her for your own actions...look she doesn't want to be with you. She doesn't mind using you when it is convenient for her....but you knew that already...and yet you continue with your f**k co-dependant behaviour.

 

Take responsibility for your own actions dude. You are stalking her and reading her emails...then you keep on harassing her with your constant text messages and phone calls asking why she does what she does(when you already know) and getting angry with her when her actions are not to your liking. Now you are sending psychotic emails to her boyfriend...like that doesn't make you look f**k up in her eyes. Because of your actions...your ex is probably thanking god she didn't give you another chance. You are validating her decision and she's probably happy that she walk away from you.

 

You should have the courage to do the same thing...but knowing you(without therapy) you are going to continue to stalk her every move...continue to read her personal emails and continue to get angrier and angrier...the woah is me syndrome.

 

Hope you get some serious help.

[ioncebelieved]

Dude,

 

You are doing this to yourself. You know she uses you just like you used her in the past. You keep blaming her for your own actions...look she doesn't want to be with you. She doesn't mind using you when it is convenient for her....but you knew that already...and yet you continue with your f**k co-dependant behaviour.

 

Serendip, this is so true!!!! You know early on the blame would go to her, but after awhile it is YOU that are to blame because you keep allowing it. For so long I blamed another and the blame resided in me. Great advice, hopefully he will listen.

[serendip]

Great advice, hopefully he will listen.

 

I hope so too...but he hasn't listen to one piece of advice from any of the people on LS...so I doubt it.

 

YYY is feeling too sorry for himself to listen to sound and rational advice. He's going to continue to blame his ex for the hollowness that he feels...when he should be taking responsibility for it. After all it's his life.

[frd150]

I couldn't take it anymore. I texted her. She texted back, "Still at the airport, can I call you tomorrow?". I knew she wasn't at the airport. I called. She answered. I told her I knew she was home. I told her I know it's Mr. Wonderful's birthday. I asked her why she had called me and said that she wanted me back. She says she does want me back, but we didn't get along, so it's not going to work. So I ask her why didn't she think about that before she called me telling me she wanted me back. She says because she misses me every second of every day. I tell her this is ridiculous. I miss her too. Stop doing this. I ask her if she loves him. She says, "I guess, but it's not the same". Of course, her phone is going to die, and she is very busy tonight. I asked if she would just come over to say goodbye. Stay outside. That's all I seriously want from this person anymore. I just want a hug goodbye, and then I will never call or answer again. She's not going to let it happen though, and that leaves me knowing how much she really cares. She mentioned that she wanted to be "at least friends", but I told her I can't just sit by and watch her live with this guy. She said she is going to call me back, so here I am again - waiting.

 

This whole thing has completely SUCKED. I seriously thank all of you of this message board for putting up with my ****. I know I come off as a loony in my posts, but I am just a regular guy with a broken heart. I've known and loved this person for 11 years, and now I can never talk to them again. We all can call her all the names in the book, and realize what a rotten person she is, but it still hurts to lose someone that has been so important in your life. Time to wallow in my tears I guess.

 

Yx3

 

You know ,I give you props for doing something I was never able to do and that is give her a $hit or get off the pot ultimatum. But to everyone here your other actions seem a bit desperate and scary. You know there are alot of ways to skin a cat (sorry Trial:)) and your current way is never going to work.

 

Yes, she may care but she also may be a bit scared of you.

 

 

If you truly want her back then the best thing to do is to get busy livin and show her that you are someone worth being with cuz dude right now she has to be very turned off by your actions.

[ioncebelieved]

Yx3

 

 

 

Yes, she may care but she also may be a bit scared of you.

 

 

I

 

Funny thing is Y Y Y, hasn't even thought about that. I did the same thing and when you hurt and are in some serious pain you are not even thinking about scaring the other person off. Since I am still recovering, I am really ashamed of how I acted/ reacted at times and I am positive I scared her too. The things you do because of hurt!!! ONLY thing left is to disappear from her and maybe one day she will realize that she really wants you. That revenge crap, GUILTY here too... I did that and have always regretted doing so. I was surprised she even wanted talking with me after doing it! I did something way worse than YYY did. Never resort to revenge! Living a better life after you healed is definitely the answer. Only if I could tell Y Y Y my story. He may rethink things!

[serendip]

Funny thing is Y Y Y, hasn't even thought about that. I did the same thing and when you hurt and are in some serious pain you are not even thinking about scaring the other person off. Since I am still recovering, I am really ashamed of how I acted/ reacted at times and I am positive I scared her too. The things you do because of hurt!!! ONLY thing left is to disappear from her and maybe one day she will realize that she really wants you. That revenge crap, GUILTY here too... I did that and have always regretted doing so. I was surprised she even wanted talking with me after doing it! I did something way worse than YYY did. Never resort to revenge! Living a better life after you healed is definitely the answer. Only if I could tell Y Y Y my story. He may rethink things!

 

do it then...post what you did and what you have learned from it

 

so it can help other people not to make the same mistakes

[Nevermind]

I did check my ex's e-mail and I did call him for 5 days, but I didn't do it out of revenge or hatred. I was just so scared, and sad, and disbelieving that I wanted him to tell me why, just why. He kept on lieing and I finally through a suicide attempt, got the strength to pull out of it.

Did I scare him? Yes. Did I kill all the love he had for me? Maybe. How much can you love somebody whom you cheat on and lie to? I think I ruined every tender feeling of affection he might have had. But honestly, if he can't forgive this than how can I forgive him? He doesn't even want my forgiveness. So I can't ask for his.

 

I understand why Why³ couldn't pull out of it, his words were angry, but I think it was desperation that drove him. You should work on your anger, Why³, for the future.

[frd150]

Funny thing is Y Y Y, hasn't even thought about that. I did the same thing and when you hurt and are in some serious pain you are not even thinking about scaring the other person off. Since I am still recovering, I am really ashamed of how I acted/ reacted at times and I am positive I scared her too. The things you do because of hurt!!! ONLY thing left is to disappear from her and maybe one day she will realize that she really wants you. That revenge crap, GUILTY here too... I did that and have always regretted doing so. I was surprised she even wanted talking with me after doing it! I did something way worse than YYY did. Never resort to revenge! Living a better life after you healed is definitely the answer. Only if I could tell Y Y Y my story. He may rethink things!

 

Oh yes,

 

I clawed and clawed like a guy sliding off a cliff. I had no concept of what I was doing my mind was so clouded. I thought of revenge but I could never go thru with it, I at least realized that it would only make things worse.

 

I did back off,wayyyy off and now she calls and not just here and there but almost daily. But in my mind its all for nothing until she says "frd Im sorry can we talk" or something of that nature;).

 

Yx3 ,let me tell you that I wish that I had had this attitude along time ago. It sucks to know that I missed out on so much due to how depressed I was.

[serendip]

Oh yes,

 

I clawed and clawed like a guy sliding off a cliff. I had no concept of what I was doing my mind was so clouded. I thought of revenge but I could never go thru with it, I at least realized that it would only make things worse.

 

Hey freddy,

 

We all been there. Not sure if you read what happen to me...but I was a crazy mofo.

 

-the ex cheated on me

 

-I forgave her for it

 

-Things were great again...then she went behind my back by going out on date with guy she cheated on me with

 

-I found this out by reading her email(she gave me her password but I never use it until I became suspicious)

 

-I told her good riddance

 

-I wanted her back b/c I did not love myself enough to walk away

 

-Then she starts dating the guy while at the same time telling she made a big mistake and wants me back

 

-This made me so angry...I seek revenge by manipulating her

 

-I felt sick to my stomach afterwards and told her what I did

 

-We finally met up in March(after a year of not seeing each other) and I told her how abusive and manipulative she was for cheating on me and getting angry with me b/c she felt guilty. She cried and said I did nothing to deserved what she did and that she understands it's her issue and not mine

 

-Now I'm still dealing with the hurt and pain but I am doing complete NC(I didn't respond to her last attempt at contact)

[ioncebelieved]

She cried and said I did nothing to deserved what she did and that she understands it's her issue and not mine

 

-Now I'm still dealing with the hurt and pain but I am doing complete NC(I didn't respond to her last attempt at contact)

 

 

Honestly, thats exactly just it!!! It is her issues now. After you get tired of being used, abused, crapped on or whatever you want to call it, if that person cares a damn about you it is their issue. That's what I am telling myself as I cope. If the person loves you at all, it would and should bother them for quite a while. The way YYY is right now... He is nowhere near moving on. I say this not being a wise ass, but from being right where he is in the past. I feel his pain and it sucks!!!

[vivrantflo]

Yes, I hope I ruined her new relationship, or at least put some doubt in the guy's head, or at least he can know what kind of person she is. I wish her previous ex would have let ME know what she was telling HIM all the time, leading him on, since he NEVER disappeared.

 

Try not to concern yourself with that man.. even if it doesnt work out with this guy, she can always get another guy after that. So don't even think about what she's doing, or whom she is with.

 

 

No, I'm not "stalking" her anymore, or anything. If she calls, I won't answer. I'm done. Her decision is CLEAR. She's made it twice. I'm actually doing a lot BETTER today. It was one thing, when I missed her, but she came back and treated me like total CRAP! What's there to miss? I'm DONE.

 

 

Dude, you don't sound like such a horrible guy.. your posts are waaaaaay out in left field, but you don't seem bad. You got screwed over... there are tons of people on this site that have gone through what you have. And they are all in the midst of surviving, or they have pulled through it. You can too, but you need to relax man, accept that she screwed you over, and move on so you can be with another woman that will be all about you.

 

And yes, she WILL call you again. She's gonna want to see if you're still around... thats only if you disappear. Just be strong enough to remind yourself that SHE screwed YOU over.. and YOU deserve better.. cause you do. And continue to ignore her.

 

Good luck man, and please, stay cool.. Be the man you were when you two first met. You were able to walk away more than once, and she came running after you. Be strong, show your strength.. and you'll get over this.

[AGENT 99]

Triple Y, I can totally understand the need to be psycho for a while...but you need

to start looking out for YOU otherwise it becomes a crazy endless cycle of revenge

and bitterness. Put it out there ONCE and be done with her.

 

You will get through the fog, just stop doing things to KEEP you there. STOP calling her, STOP reacting to her, just sit still with the pain and DO NOTHING.It will subside.

When you have a headache or are in pain all you can do is take something for

it, and ride it out till it doesn't hurt. You don't sit there and beat your head against the wall or aggravate the already hurting area. Why would you do this to your HEART???LET IT HEAL!!!! Only time, time and MORE time will do that.

 

We all want you to get over this but you are working against that goal!!!