Selfish

[TMichaels]

hi to all of you this is my first post,

am in a ldr relationshp and have know my gf for the past 4 yrs now she's doing her degree and is far away.

In 2 month she's coming back to country.. the thing is that everythg she's telling wat she's gonna buy for her mum dad or sis.. but little consideration 4 me.. am i selfish??

 

Hey mind you! i dnt want any gift but just she's thking bout me..

and for those who gonna say am sure there's a surprise.. lol ur wrong she never hides anythg frm me and if she buys somethg she's gonna tel me anyway:p

 

Am i selfish for being jealous?

 

Maybe.

 

What's your mutual "gift-giving style?" If you two historically haven't the type to get and give each other gifts, why would you expect her to suddenly turn over a new leaf, now?

 

Have you said or intimated in the past that gifts are no big deal to you? If so, she's just heeding your wishes, so no reason for you to feel left out.

 

Is it a tradition in her family to bring back gifts fpr family members when one is on vacation or been traveling/staying in a far-away place? Sometimes bringing gifts back after a trip is a way of sharing the experience with others, especially if it's unlikely they won't have a chance to experience the same.

 

You think the two of you have no secrets, but that doesn't mean she might not want to surprise you. Half the fun of giving a gift is choosing something special you think a significant other will enjoy and seeing the look on their face when they receive it -- especially when the other person prides themselves on knowing everything.

 

Without knowing more about you and your g/f's history/personalities it's hard to say for sure what's going on. However, there are lots of reasons for her behavior -- many which cause as you can see, cause no reason for you to be envious at all.

 

HTH,

TMichaels

[simply_me]

thanks loads for your reply, i appreciate it.

She bought an expensive shoes for her mom, though she is a student and said nothing is too expensive for her mom..

I never reply those comments cause i feel am not important.

I dnt fancy expensive gift.

My point is that she can buy things for her family but not for me.

[TMichaels]

She bought an expensive shoes for her mom, though she is a student and said nothing is too expensive for her mom..

 

Even if you've known this girl for several years, she only has one mother, does she not? "Blood is always thicker than water," as they say.

 

I never reply those comments cause i feel am not important.

 

If you feel you're not important, why should any one else think you are?

 

If *this girl* makes you feel like you're not important, why on earth are you in a relationship with her?

 

I dnt fancy expensive gift. My point is that she can buy things for her family but not for me.

 

I think the problem here goes deeper than whether your friend is capable or thoughtful enough to buy you a gift.

 

It sounds like you feel like you're not worthy of this girl's time or attention for some reason. Instead of wasting more time envying the attention she pays to her family, why not spend it determining why you persist in staying in a relationship with someone who makes you feel like a second-class citizen, even if you say you don't fancy an expensive gift?

 

Best,

TMichaels