What is "independence"?

[orangesean]

Well, interdependence is still dependence, on both parties in a mutual way. It doesn't change the fact that you still depend on your partner sometimes. It takes both dependence and independence. Dependence has become such a bad word to people.

 

In this book I'm reading about lasting marriages, it goes over how the new age idea that everyone must be completely self sufficient and have what they want only in life is basically what is probably the driving force between the high divorce rates.

http://www.amazon.com/Good-Marriage-How-Love-Lasts/dp/0446672483

 

It's a good read with a lot of studies to back it up.

 

I just think it's silly how people want to act like any kind of dependence is bad. No one in life is really independent unless you are Henry Thoreau and you want to be a dirty hermit in a shack in the woods. Is that happiness? We've all depended on our parents, our friends, or our lovers at one point or another whether it's for emotional or financial support. It's just inevitable.

 

Where do you turn after a break up? Friends and family. That's still dependence on comfort from another.

 

Of course people who are completely dependent are bad... but people who rely on only what they want and are so stuck in having their own life and their own rules are misguiding selfishness as independence.

 

All of that is mostly my opinion drawn from my own experiences and observations as well as that book's help. So take it with however much salt.