Why is it so hard to be forgiven?

[TrustInYourself]

I have been on here for a while trying to gain composure during my current separation. This has been a long and tiring road and hope that it will end sucessfully.

 

So the story goes as such. Me and my wife have been married for 5 years and together for 6.5. We have a 2.5 year old son that was planned. It seemed like we had the life from the outside looking in. We loved each other, was fun to be around, very successful. I am in the Corps and as Gunny can attest to, the Corps can be a stressful job. The PCS moves, TAD trips, Deployments and just the amount of BS that you get served each and every day creates a stressful environment that you tend to bring home in your personality. For the first 2.5 years of marriage, we were spontaneous and outgoing and was always around her family. We were affected by Hurricane Katrina in 2005 and was forced to relocate to Kansas City while she was 6 months pregnant with our son. My son was born and we moved back to New Orleans. The devestation to the city resulted in less than par medical facilities and lack of employment for my spouse. We agreed that it would be in our best intrest for her to move in with her parents for the time being and when the city was back to normal, relocate back.

 

This lasted for about 4 or 5 months and then she returned. My wife was assumed the role as a full time single parent. She desperatly wanted me to take the lead and releive her. I failed due to stupidity and our lack of communication. My son refused to be with me because his mother was all that he knew.

 

In 2007 we moved to North Carolina and purchased a house. I assumed all was well. The transition from friends and family to no one other than us was hard on both of us. She has always been a people person and just did not have that type of social network anymore. My wife also owns a home based business and does not allow for her to be in an outside workplace. During this time, she refused to put my son in daycare and chose to be a fulltime mom and business woman. This to include no social networking took its toll. I would get off of work and come home to a p***ed off woman who was extremely hard to deal with. I felt like she just wanted to offload the child on me to get a break. At this time, we started living seperate lives within the house due to our child's needs.

 

Please keep in mind that I was the one who always came home and cooked dinner, cleaned house, took the trash out, cut the grass, vehicle maintenance, made the beds....etc.... I asked for help with all of these things and got nothing. Her main priority was the business and our son..nothing else. I just got tired of it all but I never stopped loving her.

 

In Dec of 07, I was tired of the disconnect of affection, intimacy, and domestic support. We were heading into town and i reached over to caress her neck and she pulled away telling me that it hurt. I let her know that I was not happy with the disconnect and asked her what she wanted out of all this. She told me that she didnt know what she wanted and I pushed the issue about us. I threw the D word at her and she was totally about it. It blew me away when I heard this and I actually got a migrane and blurred vision. My heart sank. How could I be so unhappy but so upset when she wanted out?

 

We went thru hard times for like 2 weeks until we took vacation together. I was still pushing for her to make a decision and she would just shut me down. It was really bad. We returned to North Carolina after the new year and I started counselling. She refused to attend as she told me be prepared if it doesnt work out in my favor. She was completely unresponsive. After 4 sessions, she chose to attend one and it seemed like thing were getting positive. This was short lived as we started sleeping in different rooms. She kept telling me that I didnt have to sleep in the spare room but she would get mad if I attempted any type of touch while in the bed. We didnt sit next to each other on the couch while watching movies either.

 

In feb, I was tired of it and she was pushing for space. I left the house for a week and she was texting me telling me that she wanted to reconsider. She was devestated. I returned and things were getting better. In April, she had enough. She told me that she wanted a separation and didnt see us in a relationship anymore. I left and have been gone now for a month. She accellerated at light speed once I left.

 

No hopes of getting back together. Split the accounts, separation agreement, child custody (50/50). Completely different woman than I married. All of this was her choice. I tried everything to make this work and nothing seemed to be productive. I have questioned her on if there was another man in the picture and she continues to tell me no. I dont believe it. She continues to tell me that I was unsupportive, didnt compliment her, just down right neglected her.

 

I see it as yes I did neglect her to an extent but my reactions were based off of her actions. She pulled away from me and failed to reconnect or explain why. I still love her dearly and want her back down the road. I agree that we both need to self heal before we come back together but as of now she is having no thoughts of getting back together down the road. I am exhausted and tired of worrying about what she is doing, or what she is thinking. I just want my son to have a father figure in his life and hopefully she will return.

 

Any advice?

 

This hurts to read. I'm definitely pulling for you. What was your part in her decision to leave you? Why did you go through so many ups and downs? What triggered your arguments?

 

I've reflected on the problems in my marriage and how I could address the changes that concerned me. I think that as I did that, I felt the most peace that I could feel throughout this whole separation. By working on what I needed to improve in my own life, I realized that this separation didn't have to be all bad. A crisis is a great reason to make a life changing decision to be a better person. Jump on that oppurtunity.

 

I'm still struggling with the emotional portions of this separation. I feel confused by my wife's actions. I feel the strongest and most resolute when I focus my mind and energy on what I want from life. It's hard to do at times, because of course, you are going to miss and think of your wife and son. I'm just going to say that I'm with you and I'm doing my best as well. Take some strength from the fact that you're not alone. You can get through this. You deserve to be happy!

 

Life is not easy, but damn it's kinda exciting in a sick and twisted way. lol.

[Terrible Person]

My story. I am 46. My husband 48. He is also a former Marine. FORMER. I met my husband 10 years ago when he was still married. I did not want to be the reason for a divorce so we stopped seeing each other altogether so he could be sure about what he wanted. He missed his kids. . He tried a brief reconcillation with his wife and she immediately got pregnant, but did not tell him until she was past her first trimester. They already had two children, obvious marriage problems and financial problems. I warned him she would do this before he went back and he said on no, she won't, yada...for the above reasons. I have no children.

 

At that point, he decides he does not like to be manipulated and leaves her before she has the babies. Yes, I said babies....it was twins. She was already 43 then so this pregnancy was a little suspicious as there was very little sex even on the onset of the reconcillation and then it stopped altogether. This was a period of about four and half months.

 

We started seeing each other again. But now he wasn't sure about me and we both started dating others. We got back together in 2003 and married in 2004.

 

During that time there have been many changes. Perhaps I was too old to try marriage. I don't know. He was a cyclist and had an accident that kept him off his bike for a long time. He just got back on last week as his job is nearby and he is getting over his fear now. While not cycling he gained about 60 pounds. He started drinking scotch and smoking cigars. He began to scare me and talk to me when he was drunk as though I was a recruit. He never hit me though. We have not had sex in nearly two years. I am beginning to get old now, although I dont' look too bad for my age I'd say. I feel unattractive and undesireable.

 

In March one of his friends from work who worked here during the week and went home to another state on the weekends needed a place to stay. We had the room and we needed his expertise on some projects so it was working out. I really loved the guy as a friend and I believe in some ways my husband thinks of him as his best friend.

 

A couple of weeks ago, the roomie mentions to me what did I think of the sexual tension between us. I would never had mentioned it if he hadn't, but yes, there was. This guy is funny, adventurous, spontaneous, etc. But also MARRIED. He is also 36. Ten years younger than me. We talked about the tension briefly because we are NEVER alone.

 

That night I went to him in his room and had sex with him. Though it was fast (needed to be) it was FANTASTIC. I think he and I would have a great sex life. We did it one more time after that and then his guilt got to him and he said by no uncertain terms that was never going to happen again. And it didn't. We do/did all of our real communicating thru texting.

 

He believed my husband suspected something had happened between us or was going to. I don't know. Could be.

 

Then one day he texted me while away and my husband answered the text as me, thinking it was funny. I don't know what was texted, but it was enough to get my husband slightly riled.

 

I, on the other hand, am so pissed he answered my phone. We share a lot but a person is still a person and needs some modicom of freedom and privacy no matter what.

 

At any rate, the fellow is acting so weird and not staying here (haven't seen him in days he is at his brother in laws house - he stayed there for a long time before so that is why he moved in with us for awhile) he definitely believes my husband KNOWS we had sex. He does not know that. But he does know and I took the blame, that I did go into talk to the guy in the night (nudge) and laid near him but did not touch him. We just talked. I told my husband basically this made the other guy our roomie uncomfortable (of course!) and that I should talk these things out, our problems with my husband. So my husband knows I went in his room and was close to him (he knows he is my friend too and that always before had had a little brother affection for him and that is the truth).

 

Even though I took the fall albiet full of white lies he is still angry with the other guy, who according to the story, basically asked me to leave his room because of the relationship he has with my husband as close friends...yada. My husband is very very mad at me. These actions of my mine have ruined everything. I should not have done what I did, but after two years I just needed to be held and have I guess, a quickie, to feel I was still desireable.

 

The problems of the verbal abuse have been there for awhile. But only since we were married. It is very difficult to have a conversation with him without a whinny "I know" from him repeatedly. Counseling is not possible now as I am not working currently and we are practically living on Credit Cards. I mean groceries, gas, everything.

 

We have a second house we are trying to sell but it needs some TLC before we can even put it on the market, and God knows how long it will be there. I turned in my two 401K's to help with expenses but neither of us is good with money and little was done with the money. I put the downpayment of 10K down on this house and our little dog broke her leg and needed emergency surgery which cost 3K and I know we did spend some money on things that were needed but the remainder, I don't know where it went.

 

At any rate. Now I have nothing. No job. An unhappy marriage. Lost the one friend I did have (our roomate) and basically have screwed up any chances of the couples (there are about two other couples that we could have established relationships with). We have been very isolated. This was going to be a good thing because I was with him ALL the time when not at work. My work friends are gone. I am alone. My sister is here but we are rather estranged for many reasons.

 

I don't have any pie in the sky ideas that this guy and I would have a future (he has an unhappy marriage too) and would like to forget the incident altogether. But the bigger deal Richard (names changed of course) makes of it by staying away...avoiding...overdoing the guilt, etc. is just making matters worse. It was a mistake. Its over. Keep it to yourself and I will keep it to myself and lets just go back to the way it was. I am able to do this. He, not so much. He bought a house here and will be moving his wife and sons (two are older and I believe he has one about 8 or so. Not sure.) here at the end of June. If he continues acting this way he just makes it weirder and weirder. I have taken the fall and the onus is on me.

 

The big question is. What was the real reason I did this? I dont' like the invasion of privacy and the jealousy (which was there with all guys that would look at me before) and of course, the loud talking and pushing me around as if he were a drill sergent (?) wasnt helping, neither was the drinking nor the no sex. I am unhappy and unsure our marriage is salvageable. I am not attracted to him anymore physically (again, this is not new) and I am tired of all the stuff I mentioned above.

 

Ok guys. Any thoughts?

 

Terrible Person

[Billy Bob]

 

The big question is. What was the real reason I did this? I dont' like the invasion of privacy and the jealousy (which was there with all guys that would look at me before) and of course, the loud talking and pushing me around as if he were a drill sergent (?) wasnt helping, neither was the drinking nor the no sex. I am unhappy and unsure our marriage is salvageable. I am not attracted to him anymore physically (again, this is not new) and I am tired of all the stuff I mentioned above.

 

Ok guys. Any thoughts?

 

Terrible Person

 

There are plenty of single, horny guys out there.. why do you keep going for the married guys? Plus your friend is 36, you are 46.. trust me, you could never be more than a quick F.

 

If you are so unhappy with your husband, you ought to end the relationship, you don't have kids together.. No sex for 2 years? Why are you together? Not attracted to him? Why are you together?

 

Why no sex for 2 years? Your doing or his?

[WTFOVERMAN]

This hurts to read. I'm definitely pulling for you. What was your part in her decision to leave you? Why did you go through so many ups and downs? What triggered your arguments?

 

I've reflected on the problems in my marriage and how I could address the changes that concerned me. I think that as I did that, I felt the most peace that I could feel throughout this whole separation. By working on what I needed to improve in my own life, I realized that this separation didn't have to be all bad. A crisis is a great reason to make a life changing decision to be a better person. Jump on that oppurtunity.

 

I'm still struggling with the emotional portions of this separation. I feel confused by my wife's actions. I feel the strongest and most resolute when I focus my mind and energy on what I want from life. It's hard to do at times, because of course, you are going to miss and think of your wife and son. I'm just going to say that I'm with you and I'm doing my best as well. Take some strength from the fact that you're not alone. You can get through this. You deserve to be happy!

 

Life is not easy, but damn it's kinda exciting in a sick and twisted way. lol.

 

I really cannot tell you why I went thru many ups and downs. I have even questioned myself as to if I am mildly depressed. I went into this marriage thinking that if I did not cheat on her and physically abuse her, all else would fall into play. I knew that I would never do any of those things. We both failed to realize that a marriage takes two to work.

 

Our main problem is that she felt she could not talk to me because I would not listen. Most arguments ended with no closure other than going to bed and waking up the next morning. I let it go and she just bottled it in. I recommended counselling and she tells me that "I wish we would have went earlier in our marriage." I didnt think we had that big of a problem due to our fast paced life. I regret not asking to go just for marriage enrichment.

 

It is easier to say what if, but I feel that it is never too late.

 

I went to the house yesterday to drop my son off and she asked me to lay in the bed with him and put him to sleep. After i put him down, we decided to talk and my emotions took the best of me. She has moved on and wishes that I would do the same. I asked her to tell me what my boundaries are within this separation and she told me to do what makes me happy. I still think she is confused to a point. Earlier this month she told me to go out and date and that she wanted a divorce. Yesterday, she told me that she never said go out and date and that I am not letting this separation work. I feel that if I move on, I will close the door only to protect my emotions. I do not want to force myself to do something that I truly do not want.

 

While we were talking, I gently picked up her leg and started rubbing her feet. She had no problem with this as far as I knew. Later on she was standing in the kitchen doing dishes and I gently rubbed her sides and lower back. I noticed that she broke out in goose bumps and then told me not to rub her on her stomach because she is trying to lose it.

Shortly after, I was told that I put her in a situation where she could not say no. She had no problem telling me no before. Why now?

 

I still think there is another man in the picture but she will not bring herself to let that cat out of the bag. Maybe I am over analysing the situation. I just dont know what to do at this point other than kill her with kindness and move on. I want her back but I know I cannot be with a woman who doesnt love me. She better have a dump truck full of apologies if she ever want back in my life. (It hurt to say the last line because I am telling myself that there is hope when there might not be.)

 

Is there hope for us to come back together is I leave her alone for good and only be there for my son?

[Terrible Person]

Yes you are terrible...

 

I started reading your post, then turned into skimming it, and then was disgusted.

 

You try and act like an inncent bystander, you are a home wrecker. You went after someone elses man, then went with someone else while you had a man.

 

Honestly, you may have pain, you caused much more. Im speechless, couldnt read the rest of your message, dont care to, not going to.

Yes I am terrible. You did not read through the thing so you would know there is no boo hooing. I have an issue and have questions about what motivated my actions. I am no home wrecker. If you had read on you see that my husband and I were not together at the time of the divorce and only got back together years later.

 

I believe you are entitled to your opinion of course. It mirrors my own of myself. But rather than name call, I was hoping that this might be a place for some insight and other perspectives. I wish I were so secure in all my actions that I knew I had the right to persecute others for theirs. That is why I sign myself, Terrible Person. I know what I did was not right. But your reaction to my story was so emotional, it makes me think something like this may have happened to you. I am sorry for that. It is hard to be on the receiving end of infidelity. I know that firsthand too. But could anyone out there be willing to give actual advice?

[Terrible Person]

There are plenty of single, horny guys out there.. why do you keep going for the married guys? Plus your friend is 36, you are 46.. trust me, you could never be more than a quick F.

 

If you are so unhappy with your husband, you ought to end the relationship, you don't have kids together.. No sex for 2 years? Why are you together? Not attracted to him? Why are you together?

 

Why no sex for 2 years? Your doing or his?

 

 

Don't know why I would/have gone for married guys. Maybe because I don't, didn't, really ever want to catch one. I can't say. It is certainly not something I am proud of, as you can see by my moniker. It can't be "undone" now though, which is why I joined this forum, in the hopes that maybe somone out there might have advice I can use.

 

My husband loves me very much, even though his verbal abuse at times is difficult to take I know that if I were to leave him, he would be completely devastated. So the no physical attraction is me but I can't leave him. I'm hopeful that the verbal abuse is something that can be "fixed" so to speak.

 

The no sex is him. He made one overture in the last two years and was unable to well, complete the transaction lets say. I have also tried to initiate on my own to him and those were unsuccessful too. I think it is pretty natural to blame yourself as a woman. No one wanting you in all that time can do some real damage to already delicate self-esteem. It may not be importanat to some people, to feel desireable and wanted, but it is something that I, as a person, really do need.

 

No kids together that is correct. But his smallest children (the SURPRISE! ones) love me very much, and I have been one of the most stable people in their lives in the last few years here.

 

So yes, I guess it is yada yada, boo hoo, or whatever people are reading into my post but I truly was looking more for advice and insight.

 

[Terrible Person]

Yes by what I read you are a terrible person.

 

Other posters are right. It is so clear in your post.

 

There is no excuse to sh*g a married man. His spouse needs to know and kick his butt out so she can find a more worthy man.

 

Time and time again I hear this pathetic excuse. We couldn't help ourselves.

 

You will always get this person in the wings..be it a co worker or friend of the opposite sex who is 'there for you' as a 'confidante' blah blah and offer a tender ear and shoulder to cry on blah blah..

 

then WHAM! They are at it like rabbits! tHEN THE GUILT TRIPS IN! LOL

 

I mean they are suppose to be there for you in time of trouble and to help. But really in there mind is that they want to shag your brains out!

 

Makes me soooooo ANGRY!! They see this man or woman as there saviour. Somebody who understands blah blah..he is so differet to my hubby and he is more attentive. LOL Whatever!!!!!!

 

 

Yes. I know I am a terrible person. I got that. In fact I was the first to say it. If you knew me, and who can really "know" anyone over chats like these, you would know I am not "have a guy in the wings" type of person by any stretch of the imagination. I have not been with very many people. My marriage here is my first.

 

You are right though I suppose about the men being willing to be "the confidente" and the whole while having something else in mind. Seems this time I had something else in mind too or wouldn't have done it.

 

The excuses for bad behavior such as this do all pretty much file in the same line, don't they? I just wish I knew what to do or what was wrong with me or why I took action that way or why anything has played out the way it has. Somebody have any insight?????

[Terrible Person]

I really cannot tell you why I went thru many ups and downs. I have even questioned myself as to if I am mildly depressed. I went into this marriage thinking that if I did not cheat on her and physically abuse her, all else would fall into play. I knew that I would never do any of those things. We both failed to realize that a marriage takes two to work.

 

Our main problem is that she felt she could not talk to me because I would not listen. Most arguments ended with no closure other than going to bed and waking up the next morning. I let it go and she just bottled it in. I recommended counselling and she tells me that "I wish we would have went earlier in our marriage." I didnt think we had that big of a problem due to our fast paced life. I regret not asking to go just for marriage enrichment.

 

It is easier to say what if, but I feel that it is never too late.

 

I went to the house yesterday to drop my son off and she asked me to lay in the bed with him and put him to sleep. After i put him down, we decided to talk and my emotions took the best of me. She has moved on and wishes that I would do the same. I asked her to tell me what my boundaries are within this separation and she told me to do what makes me happy. I still think she is confused to a point. Earlier this month she told me to go out and date and that she wanted a divorce. Yesterday, she told me that she never said go out and date and that I am not letting this separation work. I feel that if I move on, I will close the door only to protect my emotions. I do not want to force myself to do something that I truly do not want.

 

While we were talking, I gently picked up her leg and started rubbing her feet. She had no problem with this as far as I knew. Later on she was standing in the kitchen doing dishes and I gently rubbed her sides and lower back. I noticed that she broke out in goose bumps and then told me not to rub her on her stomach because she is trying to lose it.

Shortly after, I was told that I put her in a situation where she could not say no. She had no problem telling me no before. Why now?

 

I still think there is another man in the picture but she will not bring herself to let that cat out of the bag. Maybe I am over analysing the situation. I just dont know what to do at this point other than kill her with kindness and move on. I want her back but I know I cannot be with a woman who doesnt love me. She better have a dump truck full of apologies if she ever want back in my life. (It hurt to say the last line because I am telling myself that there is hope when there might not be.)

 

Is there hope for us to come back together is I leave her alone for good and only be there for my son?

 

The things that people go through with their marriages and relationships are far too similiar to be anomolies. I understand everything you are saying and perhaps when you read my story that I posted here on your thread (grab a cup of coffee, its long!), something can be learned from another perspective. It sounds to me as if your wife is not sure about what she wants either. I don't know what she means by "your not making this seperation work". that would confuse me too, in addition to the mixed physical signals. No wonder you are having such a time making head from tail! So to speak.

 

My husband and I have a hard time talking too. I have severe depression and a mild form of bipolar so much of time I'm just treading water as it is. So I understand this. We also both have AADD so I might say something I think is really important and profound about "us" and he answers it with something completely off the wall so you know there was no contemplation on the real conversation at all. I mean, at least I try. Though you may not have those psychic ailments it still may have been difficult for you to listen then, with too much happening in your lives.

 

Seems as though many here feel we would benefit from counseling but my husband is a little sour on it. Especially through a church, since it seems to be the concensus among men anyway, that everything is always their fault and it doesn't really help. He wanted to save his last marriage but it wasn't possible. It does take two.

 

Maybe if we tried a "real" therapist but again....with me not working, two mortgages, in debt to our eyeballs,.....you know. Can't go there financially just yet. Although I think it is interesting that your wife said she wished the two of you had gone earlier in your marriage. That is important I think.

 

If she did stray and you think there is someone in the wings and she is not admitting it, I am sure it is because of her indecision and fear. Does she want this other person? Really? What if she finds she doesn't and knows she made a mistake? What if that guy decides he doesn't want her and she's up and left you? Now your gone and so is HE! Is it worth her admitting about the other person when she herself doesn't know how she feels. Maybe its plain old fear of being alone. If she could stray, then you could stray, trust is broken, it goes around and around. I don't think anyone wants to be out in the dating world again, which is why I think there are so many extramaritial affairs. The thought of being ALONE and having no one there, maybe ever again, is completely frightening. Its a weird insurance policy, but as with most insurance, it usually doesn't pay out.

 

I have a hard time believing those e-harmony commercials. Those can really kick a person in the shins if you let them get to you. Makes a person feel inferior about their relationship cause who can live up to all that giggling and dancing and laughing and googly eye crap the couples do on those? I think its great work if you can get it, but to me marriage mostly seems to be an "in the trenches" kind of endeavor.

 

It is also very disempowering for you I'm sure to feel as if you have no real say in the matter. If she makes the decision to stay, you will accept that, if she makes the decision to go, you will accept that too, but truthfully, what else is there for you to do? It must be very frustrating.

 

I think concentrating on letting the overflow of all that love you still have for her and giving it to your son is the best thing until you can get a handle on how this is all going to unfold. Your relationship with your son will always be enriched by that@!

[WTFOVERMAN]

More news that upsets me. I got an email yesterday asking that I come to dinner with her and my son. I did not want to go and I already had an appointment for counsel. I was told by my therapist to go and have dinner with her. Just show her that you are willing to be there. In return, let her know that you are seeking help and that he wanted to know if she would consider going as well. I knew this question would blow the roof off of the restraunt but stupid me decided to go with the pro.

 

After dessert, I told her that I was getting help and that my therapist wanted me to see if she would attend. Bang---atom bomb---destruction. She told me that she has considered getting help but refused to see anyone that I am seeing. Not really sure why she would say this. One thing led to another and she was p---ed. Got nowhere. I was told that she only asked me to dinner for our son and that I needed to continue counsel because i obviously have the problem. She also followed with, I am her problem.

 

She will see my therapist if he thinks that it is a good thing for her to be there. Why would she want to go if he request her presence? I expect nothing but I am tired of taking all of the blame for the failure in our marriage.

 

This is a constant reminder of how simple it is for someone to give up in a fight for their life. Why do people become so resistant?

 

Why do I take this abuse from this woman. I have tried everything except time. I really feel that she is determined at this point but it is still early in the game. If there is a OM, i just hope that she understands the severity of the situation. Infatuation, obsession and love will always feel good in the beginning. In the end, issues will rise and past experiences will serve as the only guidance. If you bail once, you will bail again. If your relationship is built on lies, you will have to continue telling yourself that it was okay (personal interest only). In the end it is all lies!

 

I want to be mean and violent as I did not ask for this but what will that do? Push her away further if she is still hanging on the ropes. I need to take the control from her. I want to put my foot down. I need to put my foot down. Emotions are not something that you can play with regardless of how the other person feels. I am human and you are human. We are equal in those aspects. Live by your vows and work thru the issues at hand.

 

The whole I am not in love with you shrit is for the birds. You wasnt in love with me when you met me but it seemed to work out that way. Bear down and rekindle. Once love is gone, it is your choice to bring it back. If she wants it, she needs to come and get it.

 

On a ramble but I am down right tired! This is BS! What happened to society? Where did it go wrong?

[Chrome Barracuda]

You on the path, get your mind right she'll either follow suit or let aqll that anger consume her.

 

I think you still got a shot.

 

Dont argue with her and just detach, protect yourself and let her know ytou still love her but the marriage wont get better if we're not on the same page as far as loving each other, recommiting and honesty.

 

I think she is still in love with you, she just got anager issues. lol.

[WTFOVERMAN]

You on the path, get your mind right she'll either follow suit or let aqll that anger consume her.

 

I think you still got a shot.

 

Dont argue with her and just detach, protect yourself and let her know ytou still love her but the marriage wont get better if we're not on the same page as far as loving each other, recommiting and honesty.

 

I think she is still in love with you, she just got anager issues. lol.

 

I think she is forcing herself to act the way she is. I happen to catch up with her today and she is very emotionally detached at this point. After some conversation, I asked her to really consider not leaning on the road to divorce. She responded with " I am not leaning towards a divorce, I only want a separation right now." Very much confusing right now to me. We must live separate lifes and I must make her feel like I have moved on. Hopefully she can work thru the anger. I want to be sympathic to her needs but it is really hard. She doesnt care that she hurt my feelings, why should I really care about hers? I think she knows that I am hurt and is trying to repay me in the process. Its amazing what a man will do for a woman that he loves. God help me thru this. This pain sucks and I really do not wish this upon anyone (male or female). Well gotta run. Gonna trade the truck in for an infinity G35 coupe. Polish the ride, get new clothes-dress and drive to impress!

 

Thanks for the kind words Chrome!