White Flower Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 You get ugly when you gain weight?? No, but thanks for highlighting that because some people would read that as quite literal. (I know you didn't;)) Some people equate thinner with prettier. And some of those people will treat you better for it. I think no matter what your size and weight, if you put out your best self and have that warm glow about you, you can attract anyone, especially if they are not predisposed to any stereotypes. I cannot tell you how many men hit on me both young and old. It's just a vibe I put out. It pisses thinner women off and I'm sure it surprises the hell out of them. Oh well! Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 She found out when I moved to be with him - until then I guess she figured I was just words on a screen, a voice on the phone - don't know. I mean she knew about me before I moved there. Before I moved she didn't seem too concerned he had moved out, or even that he was "involved" with someone else - just that he would keep supporting the family. Maybe it wasn't really "real" to her until I showed up physically that he hadn't just separated but found someone else. Of course it may also have had to do with the fact he got the best job opportunity he'd ever had and she suddenly wanted all that income to stay in her hands. This is interesting and I think your story is coming back to me. Sorry, we get involved with so many here at LS! Funny now that he makes more money she is no longer OK with him having moved out, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 I used to be skinny (cute rear end but nothing on top), then chubby, then "skinny yet volumtious" (got a lot of attention then!), then I got pregnant 3 times, and for health reasons, decided to go back to skinny. I'm very happy for the most part with my skinny body because it is light and works better for me for dancing and running, two activities I love. Still, I was at a party a couple days ago, and the other women there were kind of chubby. No one there was perfect looking. It was hot so all the women were wearing tank tops and so was I. I'm straight, but I have to say that there is something beautiful about those curves a woman has on top. I didn't really feel envious, though, because I had that once and can go back to it. I guess what I'm trying to say is, all body types are beautiful. It's important to see and enjoy the beauty in your own body type while respecting the beauty of another person's body type. I wish this were easiar for women to do. It is refreshing to hear a thin person make a statement like this. Yes, all body types are lovely and we should appreciate them all. If we were all Hollywood models, the world would be boring! Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 This is interesting and I think your story is coming back to me. Sorry, we get involved with so many here at LS! Funny now that he makes more money she is no longer OK with him having moved out, etc. the ironic thing will be (poetic justice more like) if he DOES find someone else, I'm sure they won't have the same attitude I did. I told him I really didn't care how much the W & kids got as long as he and I were on an equal financial footing they could have the rest. I remember a conversation prior to him getting this job where we discussed what the W said she "needed" as support - he was dismayed by her $ figure -after going through the figures with him I told him she was pretty much in the ballpark LOL Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 It is refreshing to hear a thin person make a statement like this. Yes, all body types are lovely and we should appreciate them all. If we were all Hollywood models, the world would be boring! .... and the plastic surgeons obscenely wealthy Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 No, but thanks for highlighting that because some people would read that as quite literal. (I know you didn't;)) Some people equate thinner with prettier. And some of those people will treat you better for it. I think no matter what your size and weight, if you put out your best self and have that warm glow about you, you can attract anyone, especially if they are not predisposed to any stereotypes. I cannot tell you how many men hit on me both young and old. It's just a vibe I put out. It pisses thinner women off and I'm sure it surprises the hell out of them. Oh well! It's all about attitude. A confident, sexy woman is hot in bed. Someone who's counting every kilojoule is going to be neurotic between the sheets too (and she'll only do it between the sheets, lest he spot any cellulite on her thighs... ) Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 and let's not forget that every man no matter how obese, bald, dishevelled etc etc still expects he rates nothing less than a 10 for an SO I don't think men think of themselves in terms of being rated - they're the ones who do the rating.... (stereotypically speaking ) Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 back on topic - I'm sure it was never sexual jealousy she felt - unless it was a decided dog in the manger attitude to me having sex with her (then s) MM he was her 'bone' and no one else was going to have it even if she no longer cared for it. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 the ironic thing will be (poetic justice more like) if he DOES find someone else, I'm sure they won't have the same attitude I did. I told him I really didn't care how much the W & kids got as long as he and I were on an equal financial footing they could have the rest. I remember a conversation prior to him getting this job where we discussed what the W said she "needed" as support - he was dismayed by her $ figure -after going through the figures with him I told him she was pretty much in the ballpark LOL So you were actually backing her up? Every BW could use a nice OW like you instead one of those raving stalkers we hear so much about. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 It's all about attitude. A confident, sexy woman is hot in bed. Someone who's counting every kilojoule is going to be neurotic between the sheets too (and she'll only do it between the sheets, lest he spot any cellulite on her thighs... ) This is so true. I know several women who are fitness fanatics who berate themselves more than anyone else would. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 So you were actually backing her up? Every BW could use a nice OW like you instead one of those raving stalkers we hear so much about. LF - if my MM ever gets an OW (since almost everyone here has been assuring me he will, as soon as we M), don't you want to take the job? Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 And I hear a few of them refuse to do it with the lights on... Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 LF - if my MM ever gets an OW (since almost everyone here has been assuring me he will, as soon as we M), don't you want to take the job? I'll sign up! I know you already like me and I hear he's very sexy. Grrrr! Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 This is so true. I know several women who are fitness fanatics who berate themselves more than anyone else would. It's pretty scary how some people hate their bodies. A woman at work used to live on laxatives to get rid of her "middle aged spread". Can you imagine? Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 And I hear a few of them refuse to do it with the lights on... And many refuse to do it at all! They "have a headache" after catching sight of a slight tremour in the thigh, or a bulge in the belly (even if it's just the pea they ate for supper!) Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 It's pretty scary how some people hate their bodies. A woman at work used to live on laxatives to get rid of her "middle aged spread". Can you imagine? No way! How sad. I don't like to share this secret, but exMM's W would die if she knew he liked softer bodies. It would kill her. I'm glad she's never seen me. I had a friends whose H remarried a larger woman. It really bothered her that he was attracted to her because my friend worked so hard at keeping herself trim 'for him'. Please, if you're going to workout, do it for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 And many refuse to do it at all! They "have a headache" after catching sight of a slight tremour in the thigh, or a bulge in the belly (even if it's just the pea they ate for supper!) Perhaps you should start a new thread to see how readily available OWs are for a roll in the hay. Seriously, I can't think of a time we weren't both instantaneously in the mood no matter the time of day. Do you think all women would find a thread like that interesting? Or do you think they might find it offensive and catty? I know for me, it would just be informational. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 No way! How sad. I don't like to share this secret, but exMM's W would die if she knew he liked softer bodies. It would kill her. I'm glad she's never seen me. I had a friends whose H remarried a larger woman. It really bothered her that he was attracted to her because my friend worked so hard at keeping herself trim 'for him'. Please, if you're going to workout, do it for yourself. There's a very big difference IMO between working out to FEEL good, and working out to LOOK good. If your body feel blah! or you need to punch a bag instead of that annoying guy in the red car, they gym can be your friend. But if you're doing it because your skinny jeans bulge when you sit down... Hello? Have another chocolate croissant! Life's too short... Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Perhaps you should start a new thread to see how readily available OWs are for a roll in the hay. Seriously, I can't think of a time we weren't both instantaneously in the mood no matter the time of day. Do you think all women would find a thread like that interesting? Or do you think they might find it offensive and catty? I know for me, it would just be informational. Maybe I should first check how many infractions I still have in force - I'd hate to push Tony's bp into danger zone... (Interesting that you way you were "instantaneously in the mood" - like you weren't before the prospect arose [so to speak]? I need to take whatever tablets you're on - I'm climbing walls most of the time!) Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 There's a very big difference IMO between working out to FEEL good, and working out to LOOK good. If your body feel blah! or you need to punch a bag instead of that annoying guy in the red car, they gym can be your friend. But if you're doing it because your skinny jeans bulge when you sit down... Hello? Have another chocolate croissant! Life's too short... Exactly. And when you feel good your whole soul lights up and you attract good vibes all around. (Not that you should become a glutton or anything:confused:) Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Maybe I should first check how many infractions I still have in force - I'd hate to push Tony's bp into danger zone... (Interesting that you say you were "instantaneously in the mood" - like you weren't before the prospect arose [so to speak]? I need to take whatever tablets you're on - I'm climbing walls most of the time!)Well, yes, when you know you're going to meet the build-up is already there. You're thinking about it the night before, you thinking about it while dressing, etc. By the time he's in your arms the clothes are being torn off. No tablets, just pure love and attraction. I think you need a tablet to suppress your energy? Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Exactly. And when you feel good your whole soul lights up and you attract good vibes all around. (Not that you should become a glutton or anything:confused:) Oh. Pity. I go through phases where I live on chocolate and ice cream and I haven't developed any deficiency diseases or morbid obesity (yet). I weigh exactly the same as I do in summer time when I live on salads and juice. I'm a firm believer that your body tells you what you need, if you just listen carefully. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Well, yes, when you know you're going to meet the build-up is already there. You're thinking about it the night before, you thinking about it while dressing, etc. By the time he's in your arms the clothes are being torn off. No tablets, just pure love and attraction. I think you need a tablet to suppress your energy? They used to give boys in the army Cu2SO4 (copper sulphate - "blue stone") to suppress their libidos but all it did for me was make my tummy run . The Pill does dampen libido but it has all kinds of horrid other side effects (including pregnancy) that don't sit well with me, so I only resort to that under extreme conditions. But yes, nothing beats that anticipation. Best kind of foreplay.... Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 So you were actually backing her up? Every BW could use a nice OW like you instead one of those raving stalkers we hear so much about. That is soooo funny, me a stalker type - considering that I knew where he lived (5 minutes away if that) plus I had the Ws cell phone number (he gave it to me "in case" anything ever happened to him). Yet this woman insisted he be accompanied by a police officer the morning he told me he was taking his stuff and leaving. Can we say projection anyone? I'm sure it was more to be sure we didn't talk, could have been worried I'd talk him out of it ? That really hurt, that I couldn't even TALK to him about it. Just stand and watch as he packed up and left. I'm also pretty sure the police officer was a friend of hers (just a hunch) Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Am I wrong?? Help me understand!! Having not been here in a while, I haven't read the responses to this thread so forgive me if my opinion has already been said. I believe that a MM has an affair for reasons that have nothing to do with his wife, the OW or sex. I think it's all about the MM and how he feels about himself. There are many BWs who say that sex with their H before and during his affair was always great. I know that in my case sex was never a problem. We have always been very sexually attracted to each other. I actually think sex is very important in a marriage. As far as focusing on the OW. Are you taking about here at LS or IRL? Because you can't take what you read here and know what is going on at home. I would guess that most BW do place most of the blame where it belongs, on the MM. But the MM isn't here and many conversations on LS occur between a BW and a OW. Because of the seriously conflicting viewpoint, it might appear that a BW is blaming a OW, but I think it's just the difference of opinion. You can't really expect a BW to agree with the OW's actions during an affair and in some cases vice versa. To answer the question about sexual jealousy. I find that it's the OW in many cases that say the affair isn't about sex. So, are you saying that it is? If so, I disagree. Again, I think affairs are all about the cheater and what they get. I believe that in many cases it's about what the MM is missing in himself and no amount of sex is going to solve that problem. Link to post Share on other sites
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