White Flower Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Maybe I ought to start watching TV! I've never thought of As as glamorous - well, aside from the tragic chic of Emma Bovary flinging herself under a train, but that wasn't the kind of romance anyone I know has ever aspired to. I've always seen them as very down to earth, like brushing your teeth or washing the dishes. No billowing miles of white voile and confetti, no blushing behind veils or bouquets, no kitchen teas or gift registries or wine farm receptions. It's all very down-to-business - hard-nosed negotiations, strict adherence to terms, instant dismissal by either party should satisfaction waver. How one glamourises that I'm not sure - but I guess if Hollywood can turn Brad Pitt into a sex symbol, anything is possible... Again, the gay man inside a woman's body applies. j/k. I wish I could be all business like you. I'm just too sappy. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 I know he fell for me because of the way I made him feel, but he would tell you it was because I was beautiful, smart, warm, and caring. But you are. So how can you say it's NOT because of that?? I But I was never anything like this Shawna Nelson. I've never said a bad word about his wife and if we met we would probably hit it off. If my MM's W and I met we'd probably hit... each other! That sounds very Jerry Springer but given her propensity toward drunken violence I'm fully expecting that when we do meet (it's a small place, it's inevitable) she probably will attack me physically. And my self defence instincts will kick in and she'll be lying on the ground while I'm doing Pat Morita. OK, if you can picture Pat Morita in stilettos, which I suppose comes out a bit like Lucy Liu, which starts getting scary so perhaps I'd better halt that train of thought right there! Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Again, the gay man inside a woman's body applies. Hugo Weaving (from Priscilla Queen of the Desert, not Lord of the Rings) inside Roseanne Barr's body, now there's a thought! Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Hugo Weaving (from Priscilla Queen of the Desert, not Lord of the Rings) inside Roseanne Barr's body, now there's a thought! Do you really look like Roseanne Barr??? Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 But you are. So how can you say it's NOT because of that?? If my MM's W and I met we'd probably hit... each other! That sounds very Jerry Springer but given her propensity toward drunken violence I'm fully expecting that when we do meet (it's a small place, it's inevitable) she probably will attack me physically. And my self defence instincts will kick in and she'll be lying on the ground while I'm doing Pat Morita. OK, if you can picture Pat Morita in stilettos, which I suppose comes out a bit like Lucy Liu, which starts getting scary so perhaps I'd better halt that train of thought right there! Pat Morita in stillettos, Ha! I can see you doing the 'wax on, wax off' thing in stillettos. Thanks for the morning laugh;) And good luck with that first meeting;) Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Hugo Weaving (from Priscilla Queen of the Desert, not Lord of the Rings) inside Roseanne Barr's body, now there's a thought! I'll go rent it today so I can join you in this laugh. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Do you really look like Roseanne Barr??? Not remotely, but I channel her spirit!! Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 I'll go rent it today so I can join you in this laugh. Get some friends around - or your kids, if they're around - it's a classic! Lots of popcorn, gluhwein, and the soundtrack turned up loud! Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Not remotely, but I channel her spirit!! I wonder whose spirit I channel? Camille Claudel? *shriek* Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Not remotely, but I channel her spirit!! :lmao::lmao: Sorry, it's all that imagery has me befuddled and bewildered... gay-man-inside-woman's-body, Roseanne, Pat Morito in stilettos,... my universe is tilting. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Pat Morita in stillettos, Ha! I can see you doing the 'wax on, wax off' thing in stillettos. Thanks for the morning laugh;) And good luck with that first meeting;) Thanks! I've been taking notes from that other thread - Owl recommends woodchippers, LF & TC quicklime, and it's only a coupla hours drive from there to the nearest large body of water... Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 :lmao::lmao: Sorry, it's all that imagery has me befuddled and bewildered... gay-man-inside-woman's-body, Roseanne, Pat Morito in stilettos,... my universe is tilting. Maybe you should pull in and watch movies with WF? Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Thanks! I've been taking notes from that other thread - Owl recommends woodchippers, LF & TC quicklime, and it's only a coupla hours drive from there to the nearest large body of water... Ha ha ha ha ha!!! That is RIGHT! OWL knows how to hook us up! OWL, where are you? I'm still technically married ya know and the insurance policy is still in effect, lol... Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 I wonder whose spirit I channel? Camille Claudel? *shriek* And who would you rather channel? Dora Maar? Margaret Thatcher? Paris Hilton? Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Ha ha ha ha ha!!! That is RIGHT! OWL knows how to hook us up! OWL, where are you? I'm still technically married ya know and the insurance policy is still in effect, lol... Isn't Gunny also ex Marine, and LsD also has some military background? I reckon we can round up a whole special forces unit here, crack enough to put Mossad to shame! Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 And who would you rather channel? Dora Maar? Margaret Thatcher? Paris Hilton? No thanks! I'll take the tortured artist. At least she produced beautiful art, ispired Roding to improve on his art, and was passionately in love. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 No thanks! I'll take the tortured artist. At least she produced beautiful art, ispired Roding to improve on his art, and was passionately in love. So did Dora Maar (albeit with a different artist). But Rodin's Kiss is profound - I wouldn't mind having been involved in that... Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 So did Dora Maar (albeit with a different artist). But Rodin's Kiss is profound - I wouldn't mind having been involved in that... O, wrm... http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/pha0046l.jpg Link to post Share on other sites
mistie03 Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 I guess my thoughts regarding that are ~ How could you not internalize that line of thinking. If I am married to someone, and they are going to another woman for sex... it undoubetdly means I am not sexy enough for him. I met the OW a few years after my H and I split up- just happened to run into them in shopping over x-mas. I had always pictured that this girl would be hot and sexy... but the fact of the matter is- she was a good 10 years older then me, and my complete opposite. I am tall blonde and thin, she is short, plump and brunette. My friend was with me at the time and couldn't get over this woman and what she looked like. My ex-H is 6 years younger than me- and she is a good 16 years older than him. The bottom line is that we had been having trouble in our marriage- and she happened to be there for him and provide a sexual outlet. She got pregnant- I found out, and I left the marriage. I personally don't have sexual jealousy toward her- but she certainly gave him something I couldn't. They seem happy. I chat with him once and a while and they just had their second child. I am actually happy for him. I don't have bad feelings toward my exH... and I don't think she stole him from me or anything like that. She can't take away the first 6 years of our happy life together- and it's not her fault that him and I were having problems for a while when he slept with her on a business trip and got her pregnant. He'll hold a special place in my heart until the day I die. It's a fondness for what he was to me during those 9 years. He meant a lot to me- we loved each other honestly for a very long time. I just choose not to look back with regret... and I also choose not to blame. We have friendly conversations and heartfelt exchanges of friendship to this day- but it isn't romantic love for eother of us- it's something different. So in retrospect- I did have sexual jealousy for the ow. Since I never met her until long after we split- it was more of a notion of what I thought she was. I constructed her as a hot, sexy mess! lol.... Well he thinks that way anyway- and he is happy. Excellent post, D-Lish! I don't think that the person someone is having an affair with outside of the marriage is necessarily sexier by any means. I think it is more about the way that person makes them feel. I've seen many people have an affair with people that were not anywhere near as hot as the person they are married to. I think that it is an escape from the relationship problems that they are having with their spouse. And, if the past is the best predictor of the future behavior, it is probably likely that when the going gets tough in other relatioships, that person will do the same thing again - cheat. I worked with a girl that was having an affair with a man that was not very attractive. And, her husband was very handsome! She said that the affair was not about the sex; it was about the attention! She said in fact, the sex with her husband was much better. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 I have a friend who had an A and she was much like this. She felt that her size 6 body, implants, and other such improvements validated the idea that she was better for her MM and that must have been obviously why he sought her affections. She told me his W was short, fat, unkept, and very b****y, etc. She could not understand in her wildest dreams why this man would choose his W over her. She rationalized it with him not wanting to lose the kids, the retirement plan, the house, etc. But sometimes we forget that that for a lot of MM it is not the way a woman looks that makes him wander, but how a woman makes him feel. I've said this before and I'll share it again. I'm twice the size of exMM's wife. She being too thin and me being voluptuous, we're polar opposites. I know he fell for me because of the way I made him feel, but he would tell you it was because I was beautiful, smart, warm, and caring. He had a nice variety between the two of us and I must admit it got to me sometimes because once in a while I wondered if he enjoyed that variety. WF, you've given me a lot to think about here. I've been pondering this all morning. Nothing to say about it yet, but I've got my brooding cap on. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 I don't think that the person someone is having an affair with outside of the marriage is necessarily sexier by any means. I think it is more about the way that person makes them feel. I've seen many people have an affair with people that were not anywhere near as hot as the person they are married to. D'hup - there it is again!! I think that it is an escape from the relationship problems that they are having with their spouse. And, if the past is the best predictor of the future behavior, it is probably likely that when the going gets tough in other relatioships, that person will do the same thing again - cheat. I worked with a girl that was having an affair with a man that was not very attractive. And, her husband was very handsome! She said that the affair was not about the sex; it was about the attention! She said in fact, the sex with her husband was much better. So basically, any warm body who is THERE and paying attention to a troubled MM (or MW) - is the magic potion for big trouble. It doesn't matter what the OP looks like, who they are, or anything; their own personality is irrelevant, their raison d'etre is meaningless. The only thing that matters (to the MM/MW) is the fact that SOMEBODY (the OP could be a plastic blowup doll, for all they care) is paying them attention. It's not about the OP at all; the whole thing revolves around the MM/MW and their needs. Am I close?? Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 It doesn't matter what the OP looks like, who they are, or anything; their own personality is irrelevant, their raison d'etre is meaningless. The only thing that matters (to the MM/MW) is the fact that SOMEBODY (the OP could be a plastic blowup doll, for all they care) is paying them attention. It's not about the OP at all; the whole thing revolves around the MM/MW and their needs. Am I close?? Perhaps that's a necessary, but not sufficient, condition? My MM was hit on by many many women during his troubled M. He didn't even notice most of them (his colleagues had ot point it out to him) and those he did notice made him panic, not grab. But for some reason, when I told him I wanted to jump his bones, he went along with the idea. Your comment on the plastic blowup doll is interesting. I thought guys went for those because they didn't chirp all the way through the big game, never put on any weight and were always ready for action? Now you're saying it's because they fawn and simper? Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Your comment on the plastic blowup doll is interesting. I thought guys went for those because they didn't chirp all the way through the big game, never put on any weight and were always ready for action? Now you're saying it's because they fawn and simper? Yup, pretty much, that's what I'm saying, OW. God this whole thing is making me so depressed. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Yup, pretty much, that's what I'm saying, OW. God this whole thing is making me so depressed. You don't see yourself as a spaniel? Oh OB (((((hugs))))) I guess it's a life of knitting and cats for you, my dear! Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 WF, you've given me a lot to think about here. I've been pondering this all morning. Nothing to say about it yet, but I've got my brooding cap on. Anything I can do to bring more perspective to the boards;) Link to post Share on other sites
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