NeverKno Posted May 26, 2008 Share Posted May 26, 2008 I really appreciate the thoughtful advice. At the moment I've decided to give her, us, some space as she suggested. She felt things were getting a little intense and that maybe we should take a step back and take a breather (btw, she told me this over txt messages). I'm willing to give her all the time she needs because I really care about her and want her to feel safe and secure with us. However, I really want to see her and be with her on the day she finally gets back. Anyways, again, thanks for your input, mistieyed and wakaranai. I will tell her exactly how I feel and hope she'll understand. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted May 26, 2008 Share Posted May 26, 2008 I've never cared so much for somebody before...everything is brand new with her. I don't know' date=' I just want to be sure before I say those words. Am I wrong for feeling this way? [/quote'] Nope. You grew up in a family that wasn't demonstrative and open about feelings. Essentially, you've had no other "model" to follow, so why are you surprised you don't know how to act, especially when someone has touched your heart in a way no one else has? Should I do as she asked and forget about what she told me? Figuratively, yes. Literally, no. IOW, don't embarass her by mentioning it, but don't forget that she said it. Should I step back and give her some space? Why? Do you want her to go away? She's already feeling bad that she put her feelings on the line, and may wonder whether you feel the same since you've been to cautious to express how you feel. If you leave her alone, she will think that either: a) She scared you away; b) You're really not interested. Why not just tell her the truth? As in: "There's no need for you to be embarassed or feel bad about saying it. And, you shouldn't think that just because I didn't say the same is an indication that you don't mean a lot to me. It's just that my family was never the kind to express their feelings so freely -- so, I'm not as comfortable as you are as saying things like that. That doesn't mean that I won't learn how to feel more comfortable expressing my feelings or that you're not special to me. I just need some time. Are you willing to do that for me?" So my advice to you would be just to relax and chill a bit -- and continue to talk as much and honestly as you can. You already said you've told her things about yourself you've never wanted to share with others. Why wouldn't you want to share this information with her as well, especially since it has such a direct bearing on your relationship? If she truly cares for you, she will understand and be grateful that you cleared the air instead of leaving her twisting in the wind feeling like a fool for trusting you enough to share how she feels. Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
wakaranai Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 I agree with Tmichael on this one, if you give her too much space, she will probably make one of the two assumptions pointed out by Tmichael. Additionally, I see no good out of giving her space when it is an issue you can easily solve by talking to her and letting her know what you feel. Essentially, you ARE the root of this problem and you CAN save this relationship if you talk to her. Good luck bro. Link to post Share on other sites
mistieyed Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 i say talk to her too - not telling her how you feel might make her feel rejected by you, and being a hopeless romantic, what woman wouldn't want her man to come back and say, hey, i do care about you a lot but am scared. talk to her so there is not a wall built. fingers are crossed here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NeverKno Posted May 28, 2008 Author Share Posted May 28, 2008 Thanks for the help, all of you. TMichael, I really do appreciate your thoughtful advice. I sent her an email explaining how I felt about her. She called me back that evening and we talked. She understood my problem and she allowed me the time I need to be comfortable in expressing my feelings for her. I'm glad that we worked it out. She means so much to me and I can't wait to be with her. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 You're welcome, NeverKno. Glad things are working out for you and your girl. Be sure to come back and post and let us all know how things go. All the best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
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