Here's a Doozie for ya...

[nadiaj2727]

I no longer even wanted to be with him, it was just some crazy unhealthy obsession or momentum. It was a desperation to get what I thought I wanted even though I no longer wanted it.

This is how I feel right now. I'm not making up excuses for him anymore, I'm just perplexed at how I am still in this, when it disgusts me. Why I keep putting myself in it. Momentum..... I believe it.

 

I know I can start right this minute. Or stop right this minute. Do things different. But before I do, I really want to give him a piece of my mind.

 

Why? Do you think he's going to say "oh, you are so right, why didn't I think of that? I'm so sorry." Well sorry to say but he won't. And even if he does, it's just another crock of BS to keep you dangling on that string he's so good at holding you on.

 

Believe me please. I've been there. Giving him a piece of your mind will only give you LESS peace of mind. The only way to find peace is to walk away from him for good, forever, put the nail in that coffin. Start forgiving yourself. He can't help you with that. He's obviously got way too many of his own issues.

[kellykellykelly]

Why? Do you think he's going to say "oh, you are so right, why didn't I think of that? I'm so sorry." Well sorry to say but he won't. And even if he does, it's just another crock of BS to keep you dangling on that string he's so good at holding you on.

 

Believe me please. I've been there. Giving him a piece of your mind will only give you LESS peace of mind. The only way to find peace is to walk away from him for good, forever, put the nail in that coffin. Start forgiving yourself. He can't help you with that. He's obviously got way too many of his own issues.

 

Reading this made me cry. It's so final. I feel like I'm on the ledge and I need someone to just give me a little push. What do I do with these feelings I have for him (good and bad) Memories.... what if he calls....or texts with promises..... and I have to see him on at work on Fridays. What's my plan?

 

Thank you for talking with me today. Really helped.

[luvmy2ns]

Reading this made me cry. It's so final. I feel like I'm on the ledge and I need someone to just give me a little push. What do I do with these feelings I have for him (good and bad) Memories.... what if he calls....or texts with promises..... and I have to see him on at work on Fridays. What's my plan?

 

Thank you for talking with me today. Really helped.

 

Your plan? Ignore, ignore, ignore. And then ignore him more. Change your phone number. Do NOT respond to him. And stay busy. And do NOT dwell on what might have been or what used to be. It was a sham. Remember that. Stay PO'd. It'll keep you strong.

[nadiaj2727]

Reading this made me cry. It's so final. I feel like I'm on the ledge and I need someone to just give me a little push. What do I do with these feelings I have for him (good and bad) Memories.... what if he calls....or texts with promises..... and I have to see him on at work on Fridays. What's my plan?

 

Thank you for talking with me today. Really helped.

 

I'm glad it helped. All you can do is be strong and resist, like it's an addiction. Because at this point it is. That's all that's left, perhaps that's all it ever was, and I think you're beginning to see that. Also, you'll find that if he DOES contact you and you don't respond, you will feel strong. Like, you don't need him! And that is the best revenge-- even better than punching him or giving him a piece of your mind. When he calls or texts with promises, think about how pathetic he is. Going to the mall with his wife and then texting you with promises. You deserve someone who shows you they love you by ACTIONS. Just remember that whenever he sends you words.

 

Feel free to PM me. I will talk to you any time you feel like talking to him. Sometimes you need a support buddy to get through this. But first you have to have the strength within to know what is best for you and follow that path despite all temptations.

[nadiaj2727]

Change your phone number.

 

And do NOT dwell on what might have been or what used to be. It was a sham. Remember that. Stay PO'd. It'll keep you strong.

 

Great idea about changing your phone number. Or tell him that if he texts you you will forward it to his wife. Tell him you are done with him forever and mean it. You can do it.

 

It WAS a sham, she's so right. He's not your knight in shining armor. Be your own knight in shining armor, as hard as it may seem. That's the only way to be rescued from all of this!

[kellykellykelly]

Feel free to PM me. I will talk to you any time you feel like talking to him. Sometimes you need a support buddy to get through this. But first you have to have the strength within to know what is best for you and follow that path despite all temptations.

 

I would love to PM you, if I knew what that was.

How do I do that?

 

I quit smoking cigarettes 9 days ago. It is what is best for my health and I have hung in there for 9 days straight, despite all temptations.

 

I'm going to the grocery store now. Oh joy!

I'll check back later. Thanks again.

[pelicanpreacher]

He showed up on your doorstep and pulled a "Franklin Close" on you by asserting his will over yours. You need to perform a self-evaluation on why you acquiece to his demands whenever calls or physically presents himself. Until you can master your own will and emotions you will always fall sway to his lies and actions resulting in you making yourself miserable after-the-fact! As far as my opinions goes regarding his character...talk to NES!

[SerenityX2]

Reading this made me cry. It's so final. I feel like I'm on the ledge and I need someone to just give me a little push. What do I do with these feelings I have for him (good and bad) Memories.... what if he calls....or texts with promises..... and I have to see him on at work on Fridays. What's my plan?

 

Thank you for talking with me today. Really helped.

 

If you're really tired of the drama, you put a stop to it. Hard?, yes, impossible? no.

 

You start taking care of you, pamper you, most importantly take time out to figure out what YOU want and what you will not accept. Your list is a great start, but you'll need to enforce it.

 

I'd advise you to step out of dating for a while. Until you heal, and you do have to heal to become emotioinally healthy for someone else. Right now even if you met someone, they'd be your rebound person and you may cling to them for the wrong reasons. You need to realize you can be strong for you and be okay completely on your own.

 

Something that struck me was the way that you said you stopped "needing" him and being clingy..and things were more or less free and easy. It's easy to fool yourself of that thinking. That you can have a r'ship sort of casually including sex, but that they're going to want you more than you will them. Problem is, even if they do, if that's not how you really are by nature, you'll feel cheapend by the whole experience and in the end not like who you see in the mirror...I've been there.

 

When you are ready to meet someone you have your list and your non negotiables and you stick to them.

 

If anyone EVER makes you doubt something they said, or if you have to think "what did they mean by this or that?" or "I wonder what really thinking?" Or don't do what they say immediately...have you second guess or any other bulls*t mind f'cks you WALK AWAY. Immediately.

 

You realize your self worth and you realize you have no time for drama, you don't have band aids or glue to fix someone (the person that you eventually find needs to have been on their own for a while too, so they're whole) Most of all you don't put up with lying, or mind games, both are equally deal breakers.

 

You'll spot the liars easier now, you'll trust your instincts but most of all you'll find happiness from within...true happiness...the stuff NO ONE can give you, but if and when a relationship does cross your path...you'll be enhanced by each other...not complete each other.

 

A healthy r'ship never has to have drama in it. That was a lesson that took me a loooong time to learn. Although I am remarried now, the point I want to stress is that I was TRULY happy on my own, before I met him, difference is I knew what I would and wouldn't put up with. I didn't settle, I didn't and won't excuse lying ever.

 

I've been bashed here before b/c I'm not a OW but I really am just trying to help.

 

Take care and best to you.

[nadiaj2727]

I would love to PM you, if I knew what that was.

How do I do that?

 

I quit smoking cigarettes 9 days ago. It is what is best for my health and I have hung in there for 9 days straight, despite all temptations.

 

I'm going to the grocery store now. Oh joy!

I'll check back later. Thanks again.

 

To PM me you just click on my name up there in the corner of this post and choose the option to send me a Private Message.

 

Congrats on quitting your bad smoking habit. Good luck on quitting your bad MM habit! You can do it!

[nadiaj2727]

I've been bashed here before b/c I'm not a OW but I really am just trying to help.

 

And how very helpful you are. (Here come the bashers to tell me to stop sucking up to BS's... ... or accusing me of being YOU again LOL)

 

My new motto is ignore the haters. It's their loss! You should try it, it's fun. Much better than trying to reason with people who have no reasoning skils...