Beatnik Posted July 18, 2003 Share Posted July 18, 2003 OK my problem is that I can't stand calling girls. I sit around forever before I call them with my finger on the send button but I usually chicken out 10 times before I actually call them, then after that I'm not nervous at all. Now this may seem just like general shyness, but I have no trouble just walking up to girls and talking to them, or even asking them out. Even when the girl makes it obvious that she wants me to call her, I'm a nervous wreck right up until the moment I press send. Any advice or opinions on this? Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted July 18, 2003 Share Posted July 18, 2003 Here's the plan: shot of tequila, 1-2-3, DIAL!!! -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Jamie31 Posted July 18, 2003 Share Posted July 18, 2003 you just need to calm down and relax. Callin someone isn't that big of a deal. Maybe you are just nervous and don't know what you are going to say. But the more you call girls, the easier it will become. The only way to overcome a fear is to face it. So call them girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 18, 2003 Share Posted July 18, 2003 You should be nervous. I take it that you are using the "send" button on your cell phone. That means that once you are connected to the girl, all this crappy electromagnetic radiation from your cell phone is escaping from your phone into your brain and eventually your penis will withdraw into your body and you will be neutered. I totally understand your fear. Link to post Share on other sites
beaker Posted July 18, 2003 Share Posted July 18, 2003 I've always been much the same. Nurse_Jamie is right: provided you're not deathly shy it will get easier the more people you call. When I was younger I used to run through mock conversations in my head with the phone in my hand to try and prepare for every possible twist the real conversation might take. Now I just pick up the phone and make the call. Like you, the conversation was fine once it started. It's not unusual for someone who is otherwise very gregarious to become shy on the telephone. It typically happens because that person takes a lot of direction in conversation from visual cues, like the expression on the other person's face, or resorts to their own visual cues (like funny faces or expressive hand gestures) when words fail them. Since visual cues are absent on the phone these people are required to learn another method of interpreting conversation before they become truly comfortable with that infernal machine. That's something which only happens with practice, and it's possible this is the case with you. Since you can carry on a phone conversation just fine once the other person is on the other end of the line, it's also possible you're simply more of a listener than a talker. Nothing strange there. I call those people "conversational counter-punchers" -- they take their own cues from what the other person previously said and go off on tangents from there. If you find phone conversations easier once the talking starts, but stress out tremendously beforehand, this could describe you, and it's nothing to worry about. Before the call is made, you have a few anxious moments wondering what you're going to say if the other person does NOT provide those cues for you to play off of... but once the real communication starts those cues are right there for you and everything is fine. I wouldn't worry too much about this. You can always keep your phone conversations short and to the point until you're more comfortable. There's no requirement for anyone to be a brilliant conversationalist on the telephone at all times. Link to post Share on other sites
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