Freezing Feet

[engaged&confused]

Hello everyone,

So I have been with my partner for almost four years, engaged for about 6 months and getting married Feb 2010. The thing is, on paper were perfect for eachother. Our lives are exactly where they need to be. We both have the same religious views and life goals. I find him funny and the sex life is great. The only problem is, I am finding myself incredibly attracted to other men and I have developed a crush on one. Now I am torn between marrying the possible man of my dreams or breaking up with him. Were perfect for eachother but I'm afraid im falling out of love. I feel that if I am looking at other men I cannot be completely happy with this one.

Also, I dont know if I am emotionally ready to be married I'm only 23. I feel like I've rushed into an engagement and now I don't know how to fix it. We have two houses together, were engaged and everyone knows about the wedding. It's all coming too fast. The wedding is not for another one year and 9 months. Gosh, is this cold feet thing normal? Should I break up with my fiance? I don't know what to do! ANY advice would be appreciated.

[BiAxident]

Gosh, is this cold feet thing normal? Should I break up with my fiancé? I don't know what to do! ANY advice would be appreciated.

 

Your perfect for each other on paper, you say? Write down every positive quality your fiancé has. Write down all the reasons that you fell in love with him and all the things you love about him. Then ask yourself, how realistic would it be to find another man with the same qualities and life goals.

 

If you really think you can find another man who has everything that you want in a life partner, then you can entertain the idea of calling off or postponing the wedding. I would also discuss this situation with your pastor/priest/reverend/etc.

[Walk]

So you've been with your fiance since you were 19?

 

I don't envy the position you're in, it's a tough one. I'd normally say go with your gut, it'll tell you the honest truth even when you hate what it says. However, I also think you'll have second thoughts about whether you made the right decision if you do break up with him without anything more concrete then a gut feeling.

 

It might help if you tried to write out what concerns you regarding marrying your fiance? Sometimes writing it out helps focus the brain on the real issues.

 

Other then finding other men interesting, what do you feel could be creating the 'cold feet' syndrom? Have there been issues with time together, or time apart, or your partner being a little too needy? What about being too young scares you regarding marriage? Is it the idea of the responsibilty, or of being locked-in to just one guy the rest of your life? What would you like to see from your life? Just wondering if you could expound a bit more on why the idea of marriage is bothering you.