dan_o_man2003 Posted July 18, 2003 Share Posted July 18, 2003 There’s been some contention between my wife and me over the way she dresses in public. The clothing she wears is far to revealing. She sometimes wears this skimpy little sundress, while wearing no bra or panties. It bothers me the way guys look her over. I’m sure more than one guy has gotten a view of what should be for my eyes only. Even when friends of mine talk about how cute or beautiful she is, I just get suspicious and wish they wouldn’t look at her. When I talk to her about this, she gets angry and says I treat her like she’s my property. What should I do? Should I threaten to leave her if she doesn’t dress more modestly? I don’t want to do that. Or should I just accept it? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 18, 2003 Share Posted July 18, 2003 1. "What should I do?" Find some skimpy clothing that shows a hint of your penis and wear it out with her and see how she like that. I'm really sorry to inform you, but your wife's reaction to your request that she dress just a bit more modestly indicates she has no respect or consideration for you and little respect for herself as well. Does she not know the fool she is making herself into before her friends? 2. "Should I threaten to leave her if she doesn’t dress more modestly?" I personally would threaten anything, I would just leave and find a more suitable partner. However, you might want to inform her that you feel so strongly about this that if she doesn't dress down a bit, you will leave. Understand, this is a power play and she'll take you to the edge. But I don't think you are seeking any power over her by making a reasonable request that she not dress like a sleezebag. Your wife is very immature and using ultimatums is not likely to work. She is not interested in pleasing you or sparing you embarassment over her appearance, she is only interested in having the power in the relationship. You do not have a two-way marriage. Bottom line, you married a child. 3. "I don’t want to do that. Or should I just accept it?" If this really bothers you, I wouldn't put up with it if I were you. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect one's partner to dress in the generally accepted way for her age and social group. If she wants to prance around like some kind of slut, send her out to the streets to earn some money to keep the family going. You married a nice, decent woman...not the town whore. Don't accept anything less than a nice, decent woman who dresses accordingly. Link to post Share on other sites
don_guyus Posted July 19, 2003 Share Posted July 19, 2003 Hmm. She sounds interesting. I'd like to see her!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 Originally posted by Tony 1. "What should I do?" Find some skimpy clothing that shows a hint of your penis and wear it out with her and see how she like that. I'm really sorry to inform you, but your wife's reaction to your request that she dress just a bit more modestly indicates she has no respect or consideration for you and little respect for herself as well. Does she not know the fool she is making herself into before her friends? Um, women like to feel sexy and attractive. It's a great boost to self-esteem to know that other men are interested. It does not mean that there is no respect or consideration for her husband. It is HER choice what to wear. My husband is flattered when other men look at me (well, he would be if they looked anymore!) It also doesn't mean low/no self respect - or that she is making a fool out of herself. Perhaps explaining your feelings and ASKING her nicely to dress more conservatively in certain situations will help you two to reach a compromise 2. "Should I threaten to leave her if she doesn’t dress more modestly?" I personally would threaten anything, I would just leave and find a more suitable partner. However, you might want to inform her that you feel so strongly about this that if she doesn't dress down a bit, you will leave. Understand, this is a power play and she'll take you to the edge. But I don't think you are seeking any power over her by making a reasonable request that she not dress like a sleezebag. You would leave a marriage over CLOTHES! If I were her and you left because of that I tell you not to let the door hit you on your way out. Your wife is very immature and using ultimatums is not likely to work. She is not interested in pleasing you or sparing you embarassment over her appearance, she is only interested in having the power in the relationship. You do not have a two-way marriage. Bottom line, you married a child. Um, Tony -- how do you know she is immature? How do you know she is not interested in pleasing her husband? How do you know she is only interested in having power in the relationship? I'm sure there is a LOT more besides what was in the original post. 3. "I don’t want to do that. Or should I just accept it?" Here I partially agree with Tony - if it bothers you, then the two of you need to discuss it and find a compromise. If this really bothers you, I wouldn't put up with it if I were you. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect one's partner to dress in the generally accepted way for her age and social group. If she wants to prance around like some kind of slut, send her out to the streets to earn some money to keep the family going. It's not unreasonable, but then again, how did she dress when you were dating? You married a nice, decent woman...not the town whore. Don't accept anything less than a nice, decent woman who dresses accordingly. Again, how do you know? Maybe she always dressed the way she does not - maybe she's going thru her own mid-life crisis and trying to find some lost self-esteem. Women go thru mid-life crisis too & some even buy sports cars! Wearing sexy clothes, changing their hair color and activities is not unheard of. It feels great at any age to know that men still fine one attractive. Maybe THAT is what she is going through. Is this a sudden change? How old is she? You? This is something you two need to discuss - how it makes you feel, how it makes her feel, and reach a compromise. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 Perhaps explaining your feelings and ASKING her nicely to dress more conservatively in certain situations will help you two to reach a compromise What's this? Communicate? Discuss? What a radical idea!!! [YES this is dripping with sarcasm]. Funny, Tony, how you claim you're a great communicator but your first solution to every problem is not discuss the issue and try to come to an agreement but just run away and dump people. This, people, is NOT how to conduct a mature relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Bruno6301 Posted August 7, 2003 Share Posted August 7, 2003 Try this....Tell her that you love her so much that you don't want other men leering at her...You would like to enjoy her in private...Tell her it's sexy to leave something to the imagination, and when she is covered, you like to sit and think what is underneath....Hmm...may work... I am a 36 year old mother of 2 kids...ages 18 months, and 7 months. I like to look good for my husband, BUT there is a difference in looking good, and looking like a slut. My husband's ex WAS the town tramp, and man did she look it! Whew... I dress like a mother and a wife....but I leave something to the imagination. lol... Just try it, it may work....Tell her you are jealous! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted August 7, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 7, 2003 C.D., I like the way ya think. LOL Curt Link to post Share on other sites
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