Home made love videos but still there is ..ugh Porn

[Ruby Slippers]

Ruby, but I feel the same way when I try to talk about this subject with men. I feel like I meet a brick wall. They always make the same excuses and justifications for porn and it seems like they rarely truly try to understand the other perspective. It's frustrating. And every time I hear another justification for porn, I also hear another vote for porn and a thumbs down for real women. It seems like guys rather stick up for it then really try to learn what it can mean to the woman in their lives.

Yeah, men want to be right, generally speaking, and are not as cooperative and peacemaking as women in general. However, if you want to change a man's mind, emotional appeals are not going to get you nearly as far as rational arguments. A lot of what you are writing does not come off as objective. I think you would advance your point of view more effectively and change a few minds if you let in some different perspectives.

[Mr. Lucky]

Yeah, men want to be right, generally speaking, and are not as cooperative and peacemaking as women in general. However, if you want to change a man's mind, emotional appeals are not going to get you nearly as far as rational arguments. A lot of what you are writing does not come off as objective. I think you would advance your point of view more effectively and change a few minds if you let in some different perspectives.

Amen. Look at this statement:

At the end of the day I have learned that women just loose out on so much because men are never happy and never think women are good enough for them compared to the idealized ideas of porn and women in porn.

Generalised and dogmatic almost to the point of being meaningless. "Men are never happy"? That fact that you keep posting this crap over and over again still doesn't make it true...

 

Mr. Lucky

[angryyoungman70]

ALL women are manipulators who only want to control men for the sake of thier own personal gain. Moreover, ALL women are slu#s who would sleep around if given the opportunity. Additionally, ALL women only marry men so they can quit work, laze around the house, eat doritos, drink wine, spend thier husband's money, and "let themselves go".

 

(I hope rational readers of this post realize that I'm just trying to make a point here.)

[Jersey Shortie]

Amen. Look at this statement:

 

Generalised and dogmatic almost to the point of being meaningless. "Men are never happy"? That fact that you keep posting this crap over and over again still doesn't make it true...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

 

I don't care if you think it's meaningless. I don't. It is something that I struggle with.

[The Collector]

At the end of the day I have learned that men just lose out on so much because women are never happy and never think men are good enough for them compared to the idealized ideas of romance novels and chick flicks.

 

 

[LucreziaBorgia]

I don't care if you think it's meaningless. I don't. It is something that I struggle with.

 

I'm not trying to be funny here and I don't think you are wrong for disliking porn and not wanting in your relationships - but I sincerely hope you get it sorted out for yourself in terms of how you see men in general. I'm not saying "learn to embrace porn" or anything like that - just that I hope you can get to the bottom of what it is that has you stuck in this emotional place you are in. Disliking porn is one thing, but it looks like you have a lot more going on underneath. Men really don't think the way you are insisting that they do - hopefully you'll get to the core of this and why you are convinced the way that you are.

[The Collector]

Ruby Slippers, how old were you when your dad left your mom, and was it because of your mothers controlling behaviour?

 

Sorry, this was question was for Jersey Shortie not Ruby Slippers.

[angie2443]

Men really don't think the way you are insisting that they do - .

 

 

Some do. My father informed of that a long time ago. So have some other men I've known.

[mental_traveller]

Maybe if men stopped focusing their attention on porn and every woman that wasn't their SO, and instead focused on him and his partner, there would be alot more happy women out there.

 

If most women weren't so uptight and boring in bed, had a healthy libido, and actually made a bit of effort to satisfy their man sexually, men wouldn't have the energy let alone the desire to look elsewhere.

 

Any man who has had a decent shag with a woman knows that it's far better than even the best porn vid.

[Sum1'sGot2RepThe530]

I'm not trying to be funny here and I don't think you are wrong for disliking porn and not wanting in your relationships - but I sincerely hope you get it sorted out for yourself in terms of how you see men in general. I'm not saying "learn to embrace porn" or anything like that - just that I hope you can get to the bottom of what it is that has you stuck in this emotional place you are in. Disliking porn is one thing, but it looks like you have a lot more going on underneath. Men really don't think the way you are insisting that they do - hopefully you'll get to the core of this and why you are convinced the way that you are.

It's because she's got serious emotional baggage. She's been crusading for the better part of a month in at least 2 different threads. I've read them both, and she says the same things over and over again like a broken record and it's plain to see that she has issues. Apparently ALL men want to have their cake and eat it too, gawk at chicks in Starbucks when they're with their family, and torture their poor SO's daily with a porn bananza of 18 year olds with implants. And apparently ALL men betray their SO's and shouldn't be in a relationship with them if porn is involved.

 

What a load of crap. Get over yourself.

[JerseyShortie]

I'm not trying to be funny here and I don't think you are wrong for disliking porn and not wanting in your relationships - but I sincerely hope you get it sorted out for yourself in terms of how you see men in general. I'm not saying "learn to embrace porn" or anything like that - just that I hope you can get to the bottom of what it is that has you stuck in this emotional place you are in. Disliking porn is one thing, but it looks like you have a lot more going on underneath. Men really don't think the way you are insisting that they do - hopefully you'll get to the core of this and why you are convinced the way that you are.

 

Well thanks Lucrezia. I am stuck. And honesly, I don't want to feel the way I do but it is hard to overcome. I feel the way I do because of the conclusions I have come to based on men's actions. Maybe my conclusions aren't right, maybe they are...maybe they are only right part of the time..I really just don't know. But when you formed these opinions based on what guys do, that's a hard thing to flip around. It's not that I think men are evil or mean. I just find men to be self-indulgent, a little inconsiderate, and not abundant in self control. But it seems whenever you want to address negative things men do, men get so defensive they can't be honest about their own short comings. Or they are aware of their short comings and just want you to pretend they aren't there and that he is perfect.

 

 

Sorry, this was question was for Jersey Shortie not Ruby Slippers.

 

I'm not really sure what the point of your question is. My parents are still together.

 

 

If most women weren't so uptight and boring in bed, had a healthy libido, and actually made a bit of effort to satisfy their man sexually, men wouldn't have the energy let alone the desire to look elsewhere.

 

Any man who has had a decent shag with a woman knows that it's far better than even the best porn vid.

 

So a man's libido, and him looking else where, is a woman's responsibility to manage? I guess I was always under the idea that a man was in charge of his libido and that it was his responsibility. We could go back and forth all day and I could say that if a man made a woman feel special, maybe she would be giving him more sexual attention.

 

Perhaps women wouldn't be so uptight or boring in bed and would be more giving towards their man if they didn't feel that they were used in conjecture to a guy's pornography. Maybe more women would be able to feel more vunerable with a man if he wasn't getting enjoyment out of watching other women used and disrespected. Maybe more women would be confident in bed if they really felt that they were what their partner really wanted instead of having to compete with the oodles of 18 year old with implants showing their boobs.

 

It's very easy for men to sit there and roll their eyes about negative feelings women can have for porn. But men aren't the ones competing with the plentiful amount of variety found in porn, will oodles of young women with perfect bodies that their own husbands/boyfriends are lusting after. It's easy for men to say that women are just "insecure" and put them down for it but when you see/know your man is repeatidly turning to porn when you are just a normal, average women with a normal-average body, it CAN send a very clear message. How men expect women to feel like the are able to be vunerable and secure in the relationship with him, in the wake of porn, is beyond me. Women don't sit there with images of young men just out of high school with fake body parts catering to their every whim. But alot of men do do that and like that. Men with familes. Men with women that love them. It's just depressing. I don't understand why men bother.

[SunnySideUp]

I think it's important to look at this from a biological perspective, which some of the men have already brought up. Has anyone read "The Red Queen" by Matt Ridley? I gives loads and loads of evidence to support the idea that human males are generally monogamous, with instances of infidelity (polygamy). This is a common way to be wired in the animal world, and lots of examples of other animals whose males behave the same way are given. I do believe it is inherently built in to men to desire sex with many different women. According to that book, for most of the time the desire is kept in check, but given the right circumstances some men will cheat on their spouses/SOs. Personally, for this reason I'm becoming thankful for the digital age and the easy access to pornography. I much rather have my husband looking at porn for years and years and years than to have him cheat on my even once.

[JerseyShortie]

I don't think anyone is arguing that men like variety. But we aren't animals. Women are wired to want a good provider. It doesn't mean women should use and exploit men for this. And I think most men would agree.

 

Don't get into a committed relationship, making the aware choice to be monogmous and then tell your SO you need variety. If you can't be monogomous, then don't tell your partner you can be and make a commitment. Otherwise, you are hurting someone else.

 

And if the only two options women have is:A) He actually cheats... or B) Only thinks about cheating and satisfies that urge anyway he can so he doesn't acutally cheat..what the heck are me ndoing pretending they can have committed relationships to one woman.

[The Collector]

JS, women cheat as much as men, and fantasize about men their partner can't compete with. An insecure, plain Average Joe is surrounded by images of Brad Pitt, male models, chick flick perfect alpha males etc, they are everywhere and women seek them out in their own way. Sure, the difference with porn is that women aren't choosing so much to watch these alphas having graphic sex, but you are painting a picture of long-suffering loyal good women being neglected by immature, selfish men and that's not how the world is.

 

You couch your arguments in constant derogative language about men, and broad insulting generalisations and that's what draws the responses, not the fierce 'loyalty' to porn you infer.

[JerseyShortie]

Yes, women do cheat almost as much as men do now. No argument there. As for women seeking out images of "hunky" men, I don't agree that women are as swayed by these images as men appear to be.

 

I do think women suffer alot in this area. Period. I sometimes do think men are immature and selfish. And of course there are times when men are mature, loyal, noble, and loving. But in the case and subject matter of porn, there really is a very high school mentality that seems to be among men.

 

I am not trying to be derogative towards men. But I do find that you and other men would be sensitive to this since you don't seem very understanding about the derogative nature of porn towards women.

 

And even without the comments I made/make, men still seem to defend porn. I think porn is a stronger force in men's lives then men care to admit to themselves.

[The Collector]

I didn't say 'hunky.' But alpha males, bad boys, authority figures, high status guys, pirates, whatever - yup, women are fantasizing about them, and masturbating over them. It's perfectly natural.

[Mr. Lucky]

And even without the comments I made/make, men still seem to defend porn. I think porn is a stronger force in men's lives then men care to admit to themselves.

I look at porn 2-3 times a year. How strong of a force is that?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Jersey Shortie]

Not as strong as I thought since you are an advocate of porn Mr. Lucky. I could probably deal with that and not be overly bitter.

 

Mr. Lucky, how many men do you think look at it 2-3 times a year compared to weekly? I tend to think that more look at weekly then 2-3 times a year.

[Enema]

Daily here, what do I win?

[Jersey Shortie]

Carpel tunnel and a satisfying sex life with your computer?

[Enema]

The trick is to alternate hands each day.

 

I have a healthy sex life with my wife. I have a useful masturbatory tool in the computer.

[Jersey Shortie]

Between your computer and your wife, your sexual life sounds complete. As is the case for most men today. Most men seem to need to use their computer in conjecture with their SO. That's just the sad reality unfortunetly and it's women that are the ones that get short circuted. Pun intended

[Enema]

...it's women that are the ones that get short circuted. Pun intended

 

Not all women.

 

My wife doesn't have the same insecurities as you, and could care less if I look at / use porn... A lot of women in this thread are the same way.

 

There are plenty of women out there, you may have to go through one or two until you find a balanced one though!

[Mr. Lucky]

Not as strong as I thought since you are an advocate of porn Mr. Lucky.

Actually, I'm an advocate of allowing both people in the relationship a non-judgemental space in which they can express their sexuality. The terms are negotiable by couple...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Jersey Shortie]

There are plenty of women out there, you may have to go through one or two until you find a balanced one though!

 

Acceptance of porn doesn't make one balanced.