Home made love videos but still there is ..ugh Porn

[rainfall]

Masturbation is a private thing and women should keep their noses out, just as men largely keep their noses out of their woman's masturbation.

 

Masturbation is not my probalem. Masturbation where you are thinking about someone besides your SO is my problem.

[Mr. Lucky]

Masturbation is not my probalem. Masturbation where you are thinking about someone besides your SO is my problem.

Someone else's masturbation is your problem ? Boy, the porn Taliban is taking this to a whole new level...

 

Mr. Lucky

[rainfall]

Someone else's masturbation is your problem ? Boy, the porn Taliban is taking this to a whole new level...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

 

Why should I waste my time on someone who would rather be with someone else besides me?

Someone else's masturbation is only my problem when they are my SO and they are masturbating to porn.

[Mr. Lucky]

Why should I waste my time on someone who would rather be with someone else besides me?

Someone else's masturbation is only my problem when they are my SO and they are masturbating to porn.

Would it mean that your SO would rather be with someone else if he listened to their conversation? Laughed at their jokes? Admired their painting?

 

Just are you can't meet all of your SO's social needs, nor will you, if one includes fantasizing, meet all the needs of his libido. Realizing that is part of growing up and understanding the myth of the "one true soulmate that I'll spend every minute with and we'll agree on everything and be happy ever after" is a part of that same package. Sorry, but you have to deal with the fact that the mind (and resulting sexuality) is a complex thing...

 

Mr. Lucky

[rainfall]

Would it mean that your SO would rather be with someone else if he listened to their conversation? Laughed at their jokes? Admired their painting?

 

Just are you can't meet all of your SO's social needs, nor will you, if one includes fantasizing, meet all the needs of his libido. Realizing that is part of growing up and understanding the myth of the "one true soulmate that I'll spend every minute with and we'll agree on everything and be happy ever after" is a part of that same package. Sorry, but you have to deal with the fact that the mind (and resulting sexuality) is a complex thing...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

 

Talking to someone does not even compare to wanting to sleep with someone. Talking to someone or admiring their painting is something you can and would do with friends. I have no problem with friends so I don't see how I could compare those things. The same goes for his social needs since I consider friendship a social need.

 

If he has to fantasize about being with someone else then he should. I have no need ro fantasize about others because he meets all my needs. So why should I waste my time with someone who can't show me the same kind of respect and love.

 

I have some friends that have admitted if their girlfriend lost a few pounds (a few meaning 20+ ) then they would no longer feel the need to look at porn. Comments like these just make me believe even more that my pov on the whole porn issue is correct.

[Mr. Lucky]

Talking to someone does not even compare to wanting to sleep with someone. Talking to someone or admiring their painting is something you can and would do with friends. I have no problem with friends so I don't see how I could compare those things.

Huh? I didn't compare talking to someone to wanting to sleep with them. I used conversation as an example of a social need, not all of which you can fulfill for your partner. Try less fanatacism and more reading comprehension...

 

Mr. Lucky

[rainfall]

Huh? I didn't compare talking to someone to wanting to sleep with them. I used conversation as an example of a social need, not all of which you can fulfill for your partner. Try less fanatacism and more reading comprehension...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

 

I don't expect to fulfill all his social needs. I just expect to fulfill all his sexual ones.

 

I did comprehend what you wrote.You asked if he would rather be with someone else if he talked to them. If he would rather be with someone else then that is just as bad as wanting to sleep with them.

If that is not how you meant it you should of asked it different

[LucreziaBorgia]

I have some friends that have admitted if their girlfriend lost a few pounds (a few meaning 20+ ) then they would no longer feel the need to look at porn.

 

When a girl piles on the weight, why is she surprised that her boyfriend would lose attraction and would find a relatively harmless way to look at more fit women in order to get aroused? Love may conquer all, but sexual attraction is sexual attraction. If a man is not attracted to overweight women, he will not be attracted to his SO if she gains a lot of weight. He may be attracted to the memory of how she used to look, and may still have sex with her in spite of her weight gain - but honestly, he won't be as attracted. You rarely hear a man admit that, but I would wager a lot more think it than most would imagine.

 

As for why men look at porn in general - well, that is a different issue. Some guys will look at porn when their needs aren't being met. And guess what? Some guys will look at porn even when all of their needs are being met. To say that the only reason a man looks at porn and fantasizes about other women is because his needs aren't being met is just plain wrong. A good deal of men don't consider jerking it to porn as even remotely related to the relationship he has with his SO.

[Enema]

I don't expect to fulfill all his social needs. I just expect to fulfill all his sexual ones.

 

Very unrealistic.

 

My wife can't fulfill my black girl fetish, my bondage fetish, my Latino anal fetish, or my Tranny fetish.

 

That doesn't mean I should leave!

[Mr. Lucky]

My wife can't fulfill my black girl fetish, my bondage fetish, my Latino anal fetish, or my Tranny fetish.

Given the variety of what's out there, I'm sure somewhere there's a half Black, half Latin Tranny out there willing to let you watch her(?) have anal sex for the right price. My own mundane preferences pale in comparison...

 

Mr. Lucky

[hummingbird]

Very unrealistic.

 

My wife can't fulfill my black girl fetish, my bondage fetish, my Latino anal fetish, or my Tranny fetish.

 

That doesn't mean I should leave!

 

so which came first?????

the black, bondage and anal tranny fetish----or----- the porn that fueled the fetish, that of course no one woman could ever satisfy.

-If I were to guess, the porn sparked the fetish, fueled it and until it got so boring looking at regular stuff---- the need for the variety of fetish-porn become stronger and greater..

 

sheeeesshhhh, look at what us plain 'ol boring normal women who have had babies and are no longer in their 20's have to contend with....

of course it isn't realistic, but I truly wonder if guys could HONESTLY say that they don't ever feel that porn fuels the want for more variety and more porn and more more more--

because the REAL woman in their life just can't measure up to this impossible ideal that porn provides in a very quick, easy and instant gratifying way

[soserious1]

Very unrealistic.

 

My wife can't fulfill my black girl fetish, my bondage fetish, my Latino anal fetish, or my Tranny fetish.

 

That doesn't mean I should leave!

 

of course not, she's useful to wash your soiled undies,cook your meals, whelp your brats and she can also bring in a paycheck.

[Enema]

of course not, she's useful to wash your soiled undies,cook your meals, whelp your brats and she can also bring in a paycheck.

 

We share the chores, don't want children and both earn similar salaries. Not that any of these things has to do with porn.

 

I'm not sure what your point was, but it sure did come with a healthy serve of ignorance.

[Enema]

so which came first?????

the black, bondage and anal tranny fetish----or----- the porn that fueled the fetish, that of course no one woman could ever satisfy.

 

This is just a case of the chicken or the egg.

 

There's no answer to the question, and no point dwelling on it. Rather we should focus on the result:

 

The majority of men (and women) have many different fantasies and porn helps to fulfill those where our partner can't.

 

I don't see anything wrong with it at all unless it starts to negatively affect your sex life.

[hummingbird]

This is just a case of the chicken or the egg.

 

There's no answer to the question, and no point dwelling on it. Rather we should focus on the result:

 

The majority of men (and women) have many different fantasies and porn helps to fulfill those where our partner can't.

 

I don't see anything wrong with it at all unless it starts to negatively affect your sex life.

 

 

appreciate your POV!!!!!!!!

yet, as much as one shouldn't dwell on certain things...

I am still interested in a honest response to the question..

and more importantly wonder if guys ever self-reflect about this question and the impact it may--does-- (inconspicuously might) have on their SO/R.

 

and really, if most men and ?? some measure of women have fantasies, what is the problem with letting your own mind wander and not let some Porn industry, money-monger- porn sluts do the fantasy for you???

have men -- some women--people become so lazy and incapable of creativity and using their own imagination??-- that the easiest-fastest quick fix which probably becomes less and less fast enough??

 

The point of the question is, maybe your partner can't satisfy your fetish/fantasies because after seeing all of that in porn of course not--

the porn then becomes the reason no one woman ever will or can satisfy--even hundreds of porn sluts won't either....

but maybe, possibly without all this stimulus --- there wouldn't need to be a need or a dissatisfaction with one's SO--because then, there isn't this

fetish/fantasy land that turns on at the push of a button..

Real women require a real effort......

 

and truthfully---- maybe the porn hasn't and doesn't affect the couples sex life, but maybe it affects some aspect of the R---- the R isn't just about SEX--it is about intimacy and connection and so much more--

it could be that sex remains good or at least status quo--

but what if could be that much better without the porn..?

 

again, so which is more important and again...I ask the guys

which came first

the fantasies or the porn that fueled and fuels that fanatsies...those that no longer can be simply satisfied by what goes on in your thoughts??

and how does porn affect the need for more ?

[soserious1]

We share the chores, don't want children and both earn similar salaries. Not that any of these things has to do with porn.

 

I'm not sure what your point was, but it sure did come with a healthy serve of ignorance.

 

 

Ignorance? I think not, I've learned from direct first hand experience that men basically "settle" for average women, we're kept around to make day to day life easier and as an added bonus our paychecks raise the household standard of living.

 

I'm here to pay the bills and make life easier and god help me if I am anything less than grateful, giving and appreciative of the chaste grandma kisses that make up my entire sexual life.

 

I've got no beef with porn... I do wish that along with all of his lust and passion that the women of porn would take in my husband's dirty laundry, clean the toliet after he uses it and pay his bills. It seems kind of unfair that porn gets all the good stuff and I get left with the dirty,unpleasant and expensive tasks.

[Mr. Lucky]

I've got no beef with porn... I do wish that along with all of his lust and passion that the women of porn would take in my husband's dirty laundry, clean the toliet after he uses it and pay his bills. It seems kind of unfair that porn gets all the good stuff and I get left with the dirty,unpleasant and expensive tasks.

Again soserious1, while porn may be a convenient target, it isn't the real issue in your marriage. If your husband stabbed you with a knife, would you be posting here that knives were the problem in your marriage ?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Mr. Lucky]

I ask the guys

which came first

the fantasies or the porn that fueled and fuels that fanatsies...those that no longer can be simply satisfied by what goes on in your thoughts??

and how does porn affect the need for more ?

Porn to me is simply a (poor) substitute for when my wife is not available or not in the mood. Why do you want to give it some enhanced status beyond that?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Enema]

I am still interested in a honest response to the question..

and more importantly wonder if guys ever self-reflect about this question and the impact it may have on their SO/R.

 

Well, imo I think that yes, some of the likes I have now I wouldn't have without porn because I didn't know such a thing existed or was possible.

 

I don't wonder about the affect of these fantasies on my relationship because they're separate... I don't expect my wife to fulfill my fantasies because that's all they are; fantasies.

 

and really, if most men and ?? some measure of women have fantasies, what is the problem with letting your own mind wander and not let some Porn industry, money-monger- porn sluts do the fantasy for you???

have men -- some women--people become so lazy and incapable of creativity and using their own imagination??-- that the easiest-fastest quick fix which probably becomes less and less fast enough??

 

Well for me, that's what masturbation is about... a quick, easy release. Porn is the quickest, easiest most visually appealing way to get that.

 

Men are very visual creatures, while women have a much easier time fantasizing using their imagination, that doesn't work so well for most guys.

 

The point of the question is, maybe your partner can't satisfy your fetish/fantasies because after seeing all of that in porn of course not--

No, the reason is because I never ask her to. My masturbatory fantasies are just that and nothing more.

 

 

and truthfully---- maybe the porn hasn't and doesn't affect the couples sex life, but maybe it affects some aspect of the R----

 

If the porn somehow caused a problem in the relationship I would expect her to bring it up with me and we would help her get over it, because porn is largely harmless imo.

[kbah]

I've been reading all along and nothing bothered me more than the last comment of "we would help her get over it." AHHH! Selfish.

 

If men NEED porn as a visual stimulation since "biologically" they are visual creatures...well, then women are emotional by nature. I should be able to have a deep, platonic relationship with a man (preferably VERY attractive man...even more so than my partner) that I can turn to whenever I please. I would just LOVE to see how my partner would react. THEN, I could spit the insecure and jealousy one-liner. Bottom line...both sides are then going OUTSIDE the relationship-never a good sign.

 

If only the tables were turned...

[Enema]

I've been reading all along and nothing bothered me more than the last comment of "we would help her get over it." AHHH! Selfish.

 

Lol, I threw that line out there as bait to ruffle some feathers.

 

I wouldn't have married my wife if we had differing opinions about how I am allowed to handle my own sexuality.

 

I don't believe in trying to change for, or change - your partner. If you can't accept who your partner is or has become, then move on!

[electric_sheep]

have you ever really truly thought about how it may affect your R??

I am just curious if guys really think about it and how it may affect how you see women, your woman and your R with her..

 

The men posting here have been soooooo helpful-- I really appreciate that and LB too!

thanks Dnstr!

 

I've wondered about this. I bet some research may have been done regarding this, but I wonder how telling/informative it is? Wouldn't surprise me if one could find contradictory studies.

 

I think I remember reading somewhere that some younger guys, having grown up in the age of easily accessible porn, expect more sexually adventurous acts from their girlfriends. Hopefully they treat their gf's better than most of the guys in these videos.

 

Here's an interesting antidote, for what it's worth. I used to look at porn for about 30 minutes or so everyday at the end of my shift (I'm a network admin, firewall/security/encryption guy, so I pretty much have impunity. I'm the guy your company asks to filter out the "bad" sites). Anyway, I found that when I did this, I was usually much hornier when I got off work, and I think my gf and I actually had better sex. I stopped doing it mainly because I decided I wanted to spend my time in a better manner (which explains why I'm on LS, ha!). I think the 45 minutes or so of sexual stimulation right before heading home just jacked me up.

 

I mention this simply because it's possible there might be some positive effects of porn. One thing I know for sure... people have a tendency to think something is good or bad, but most things are so much more complicated than that, with many, many subtleties and permutations. Something that might be good for your brain is bad for your liver. Or maybe it's good for the brain, but only in this narrow range of doses. You get the point.

 

I'm sure the "truth" about porn, and how it effects us individually, and our society in general, is probably pretty complicated.

 

Another example... I wouldn't be surprised if a study found that men who looked at porn were less likely to commit adultery. Don't hold me to it, though! Could be that looking at all that porn makes you MORE likely to cheat... hard to say. Hard to say and hard to determine.

[electric_sheep]

When a girl piles on the weight, why is she surprised that her boyfriend would lose attraction and would find a relatively harmless way to look at more fit women in order to get aroused? Love may conquer all, but sexual attraction is sexual attraction. If a man is not attracted to overweight women, he will not be attracted to his SO if she gains a lot of weight. He may be attracted to the memory of how she used to look, and may still have sex with her in spite of her weight gain - but honestly, he won't be as attracted. You rarely hear a man admit that, but I would wager a lot more think it than most would imagine.

 

I'll fully admit it, and I can attest to it, unfortunately.

 

Some guys not only won't admit it to others, but they won't admit it to themselves. Our society condemns certain attitudes, thoughts, and opinions so successfully that not only will we not admit them to others, but we are in denial about it ourselves. It's the only thing that keeps us from feeling massive amounts of guilt.

 

One of the things we are most judgmental about is the value system we use to pick our friends and lovers. The ONLY value system that has societies stamp of approval is the one that puts personality at the top. Having intelligence be a determinant is also okay (it's still politically correct to make fun of dumb people). If you have money or looks near the top of your list though, you will be derided for being superficial. So... ironically, the people who think they are the least judgmental have guilt tripped the rest of us into accepting the superiority of THEIR value system. If we don't, we feel awful.

 

Of course, as usually is the case in our society... we say we value personality, humor, intelligence, and wisdom, but a lot of people end up hooking up with some hot looking women. Coincidentally, a lot of times the guys who do happen to make a pretty good size paycheck, too. Words and actions seldom match. We condemn something and simultaneously celebrate it. No wonder most of us will either end up fat or with an eating disorder, sooner or later. Or alcoholic.

 

We simply can't be honest with ourselves. And all conversation gets shut down. We hide our true thoughts to avoid condemnation.

 

Maybe we should just all be a little more accepting.

[Jersey Shortie]

sheeeesshhhh, look at what us plain 'ol boring normal women who have had babies and are no longer in their 20's have to contend with....

of course it isn't realistic, but I truly wonder if guys could HONESTLY say that they don't ever feel that porn fuels the want for more variety and more porn and more more more--

because the REAL woman in their life just can't measure up to this impossible ideal that porn provides in a very quick, easy and instant gratifying way

 

 

I think there is alot of truth in that statement for alot of women in relationships with men who view porn. A real woman, with a real body, who has had real life experiences just isn't what men are looking for anymore. They want the fantasy and a real woman can't compare/compete with the feminine fantasy men wish was true. Making real women, appearing less feminine and beautiful and exciting. You can't expect to be looking at the circus everyday and expecting the kitten at home to be more exciting.

 

 

Porn to me is simply a (poor) substitute for when my wife is not available or not in the mood. Why do you want to give it some enhanced status beyond that?

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Because many men give it an enhanced status by defending it and using it.

 

 

If men NEED porn as a visual stimulation since "biologically" they are visual creatures...well, then women are emotional by nature. I should be able to have a deep, platonic relationship with a man (preferably VERY attractive man...even more so than my partner) that I can turn to whenever I please. I would just LOVE to see how my partner would react. THEN, I could spit the insecure and jealousy one-liner. Bottom line...both sides are then going OUTSIDE the relationship-never a good sign.

 

If only the tables were turned...

 

It would be interesting. Women are more verbal more emotional. Perhaps we should start having more verbal and emotional relationships with other men just as men seem to want more sexual relationships with other women and see how men feel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I remember reading somewhere that some younger guys, having grown up in the age of easily accessible porn, expect more sexually adventurous acts from their girlfriends. Hopefully they treat their gf's better than most of the guys in these videos.

 

It's a valid question. You have to wonder about what guys who grew up with porn and how porn has shapped their standards considering women and sex. Add in the fact that alot of women really don't get treated very nicely in porn we are doing a huge disservice to our sons and daughters by perpuating porn.

 

Here's an interesting antidote, for what it's worth. I used to look at porn for about 30 minutes or so everyday at the end of my shift..... I found that when I did this, I was usually much hornier when I got off work, and I think my gf and I actually had better sex........ I think the 45 minutes or so of sexual stimulation right before heading home just jacked me up.

 

I mention this simply because it's possible there might be some positive effects of porn.

 

But was it all that positive? It's positive in the sense that it made you more sexually stimulated. But you were more sexually stimulated because of the porn, making you somewhat dependent on the porn for this outstanding sexal stimulation. It had nothing to do with your partner that you were going home to. Sure, you were reved up to want to have sex with her, but it wasn't because of her that you were reved up. One could argue that it created a false sense of intimacy.

 

 

 

I'm sure the "truth" about porn, and how it effects us individually, and our society in general, is probably pretty complicated.

 

I do agree with this.

[Mr. Lucky]

I

Because many men give it an enhanced status by defending it and using it.

I also use ExLax when the need arises and would defend my right to do so. Does that qualify it for "enhanced status" ?

 

My point was simply that you seem determined to award porn a life-altering, transcendental status that isn't valid for most men. For me at least, and much like the lube and kleenex used to clean up afterwards, it's just a tool that provides the visual stimulation I need to get off. Romance novels and Barry White songs don't do it for me.

 

I guess I don't see how that makes me a bad partner or person...

 

Mr. Lucky