Soulburn Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 Whey, it sounds like you're wrong (according to her) if you do the right thing which is leave a toxic situation but if you do what she says the right thing is, which is stay, you have to keep hearing how you're a ****up, right? I'd like to bring up something about this situation I've experienced with my own mother. The constant stress at home with this toxic, codependent relationship goes with you to work and went with you when you were with your fiance. It doesn't leave your head. So, you can't deal normally with your job like people who have a better home life and you can't deal normally with your fiance because you're so stressed from mom. You end up in a vicious circle of failing at other things in life because of the constant stress and end up stuck with her! I have personally been so messed up for days from my mother calling me to tell me I'm sick, twisted, sadistic and whatever else that I couldn't function normally at work. I ended up crying in the bathroom instead of working. And I don't even live with this woman! Whey, do whatever you can to get away from her. On a permanent basis. You'll find that you start doing better when you're calmer without the abuse. For anybody who said or is thinking that his reaction to his mother was just plain wrong no matter what...he was backed into a corner and felt the need to defend himself because she doesn't stop or let up. As a matter of fact, over time she escalates and it gets WORSE. Just because this is his mother, that does NOT give her a license to abuse him mentally. Why doesn't she kick his a** out? This is a codependent relationship. SHE WANTS HIM THERE. She knows putting him down is the greatest thing since sliced bread for her. He goes to work stressed and upset, takes this stress to his relationship with his fiance and keeps failing at things and is stuck with her. She has very low self esteem and her way of "dealing" with it is to constantly put him down to feel as if she's at least better than SOMEBODY. Whey, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. He felt he couldn't defend himself and maybe felt that nobody else would take care of his needs so he stayed? I wish your mother would've never brought your father to tears once. You say you just don't care anymore? Good! So, when you leave this toxic situation, you won't turn back! The first step is getting out. Your father didn't feel that he could. You...CAN. After getting away from her for a while, it's going to take a little time to start feeling more calm on a consistent basis. But, with the influence of your mothers abuse out of your life for a while, you will start to feel a huge weight lifted from your shoulders. You won't feel stress, you won't feel angry and defensive when you're spending all of your time around healthier, happier people who know how to cope with life. You need a bunch of great influences around you. There's one thing everybody who has responded feels is the right thing here. For you to get out of this. This is excellent advice. When you do, your mother is most likely going to try to chase you down to tell you how wrong you are. KEEP GOING! If you really don't care anymore, shut out anything she says and just GO. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
bamaguy20 Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 your mother sounds like a real pain in the ass..and a bad mother... but you are lower than scum. i really have nothing to say to you. you are human filth. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 your mother sounds like a real pain in the ass..and a bad mother... but you are lower than scum. i really have nothing to say to you. you are human filth. That is harsh. I would think that a parent who pushes children in this diraction is the one lower than filth. You don't provoke your child to rage. That is lower than pond scum. Link to post Share on other sites
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