A sad pattern

[Serph]

Haven't you ever noticed this? This forum has an overwhelming majority of female users. On most any section they start most of the topics and have the most posts. Like in the dating section, the busiest sub-section by far, most of the topics are started by women. Typically it's something like "I have this self-esteem issue", "Do all guys behave like (insert word here)", or "Help me analyze this guy's behavior". This section is an exception. Here in spite of the female majority, most topics are started by men, and the contrast in the text's tone is pretty huge. Most posters here seem to feel incredibly bad, all out of options and helpless, or completely inexperimented sexually. There's this dire touch that most female topics do not share at all. The few topics started by women seem to talk about things that are a bit more trivial, to satisfy their curiosity. Am I the only one to have observed this? Just what's happening to the latest generations of men, a dangerous amount of them seem to be either left to themselves, ignored or treated like complete dirt.

[idratherbewithyou]

I have noticed that each gender starts topics which are important to them.

[Lunar Sonata]

Just what's happening to the latest generations of men, a dangerous amount of them seem to be either left to themselves, ignored or treated like complete dirt.

 

Funny, I'm noticing that trend for women who fall just a hair short of average beauty despite having a scintillating personality.

[Karyyk]

Funny, I'm noticing that trend for women who fall just a hair short of average beauty despite having a scintillating personality.

 

I'm fairly sure that crosses gender lines as a universal truth that's applicable to both sexes.

 

I remember my ex once upon a time telling me that I should be "glad" that she didn't adhere to society's standards for being attractive. Yeah, I'm glad that's over...a real gem that one.

[Serph]

Funny, I'm noticing that trend for women who fall just a hair short of average beauty despite having a scintillating personality.

 

It's absolutely not what I'm referring to. What I'm referring to is that even girls who appear to be doing bad on the dating scene still have a ton of options at hand. Take for example a recent topic where the female OP wonders if "nice GIRLS finish last". How is that kind of plight any comparable to that of most guys' on this section? The reversed stereotype is that nice guys have no love life at all. At the end of the day she dates frequently and enjoys many romantic encounters. She might not have the best options, but those are still options. She wants to date, she can. How many male posters in this section have you read in the last few months that try in their earnest and can't get a single date or any girl show any sign of interest in them? You'd think they wouldn't be as shallow as some guys and would definitely give a chance to the type of girls you describe. But even them don't want anything to do with them. urgh for some reason I can't type paragraphs in the forum software

[Lunar Sonata]

What I'm referring to is that even girls who appear to be doing bad on the dating scene still have a ton of options at hand.

What good are options if they're all crap? Nobody, girl or guy, should have to devalue themselves and succumb to those options.

Take for example a recent topic where the female OP wonders if "nice GIRLS finish last". How is that kind of plight any comparable to that of most guys' on this section?

Why does her plight have to be comparable to the guys'?

The reversed stereotype is that nice guys have no love life at all.

Mmm, so?

At the end of the day she dates frequently and enjoys many romantic encounters. She might not have the best options, but those are still options. She wants to date, she can.

Said girl is taking big risks. Girls are more vulnerable than guys.

How many male posters in this section have you read in the last few months that try in their earnest and can't get a single date or any girl show any sign of interest in them?

Way too many. Let's take in consideration how most of the men got to this forum in the first place: probably a Google search leading to a thread titled "She comes up for air, how do I know if she likes me?"

You'd think they wouldn't be as shallow as some guys and would definitely give a chance to the type of girls you describe. But even them don't want anything to do with them.

Okay. I agree that's pretty sad how most guys got here and contribute to the "nice guy-no love life-can't get a date or sign of interest". I think it's more sad that most girls here have more balls than the guys you described. Maybe women here have too much balls for their own good. The examples of inexperienced, clueless "men" you described isn't exactly helping either gender.

 

At first glance, with the way the sad men here lick each others wounds and how the women act so proactive, I'd have thought loveshack was a forum for gays and butch lesbos. Twilight zone style role reversal going on.

[Serph]

What good are options if they're all crap? Nobody, girl or guy, should have to devalue themselves and succumb to those options.

 

Just look at the latest topic on this forum from LikeCharlotte, it's pretty iconic. In most cases from what I observed it's not that the persons themselves are treated like crap, it's just that they can't meet the passion of their life and are thus numb and disappointed. It's far more whimsical, absolutely not the same.

Why does her plight have to be comparable to the guys'?

Uh, because guys and girls are human beings?

Mmm, so?

So because of the pickyness of modern girls it's like 40 times as hard for a caste of guys to ever go anywhere romantically-speaking than it is for a girl.

Said girl is taking big risks. Girls are more vulnerable than guys.

Is breezing passively through the mundanity of everyday life and waiting around to be approached, and then picking the best candidate of the lot really akin to taking risks?

Way too many. Let's take in consideration how most of the men got to this forum in the first place: probably a Google search leading to a thread titled "She comes up for air, how do I know if she likes me?"

 

Okay. I agree that's pretty sad how most guys got here and contribute to the "nice guy-no love life-can't get a date or sign of interest". I think it's more sad that most girls here have more balls than the guys you described. Maybe women here have too much balls for their own good. The examples of inexperienced, clueless "men" you described isn't exactly helping either gender.

 

At first glance, with the way the sad men here lick each others wounds and how the women act so proactive, I'd have thought loveshack was a forum for gays and butch lesbos. Twilight zone style role reversal going on.

Their behavior is simply a byproduct of the way life treated them, and of how on average people of the opposite sex are receptive to them. It's not that the guys here are all wimps. They're just a symptom of something wrong going on in society. It's also not like every one of them stays at home and weeps about his situation, most do frequently go out, try their best to get over their predicaments but the bar is so incredibly high that they continuously bite the dust. I consider myself very lucky to have met someone.

[Admiral Thrawn]

Yeah, I guess so. There are lots of sad things to reflect on if you want.

But, what can you do about it?

 

For me, I look at this 'sad element' as a drive for experimentation that I may not normally do if things are always going well:

 

For example, I'm going to try giving out tracts (the I'm sharing the Gospel and doing a good deed at the same time where I'm too shy to approach or ask for a number -- tend to get great connections on that anyway), self-hypnosis to see if that makes me more confident, and perhaps pheneromes at some point in the future as my thread indicates, so despite the lack of options or 'sad state', there is always some sort of pet project that is always in the works. So, in that sence there is always some a sence of control or direction, which doesn't make it seem so bad. If I hit the jackpot and anything really works phonominally, then it came because the way was tried.

 

The involuntary celibacy forum also has lots of female members who claim they cant find a man -- but I also agree -- I think allot of them cant find the RIGHT guy rather than being unable to find A guy, while guys posting on that site may complain more that they cant get A girl. The irony is, you may have more success if you have an idea of what you want rather than just going for anyone. I know I couldn't be excited that I just have 'a' woman for the sake of having 'a' woman, since I'll just see my money and time being wasted while eying other women around more than if I were by myself -- but I guess it gets to you after a while and anything is better than nothing mentality kicks in.

 

But, you get a few people or posts, where gals complain they cant date because they are really too fat, or don't seem approachable, and those are far and few in between.

[Lunar Sonata]

Is breezing passively through the mundanity of everyday life and waiting around to be approached, and then picking the best candidate of the lot really akin to taking risks?

Not really. You got me there.

Their behavior is simply a byproduct of the way life treated them, and of how on average people of the opposite sex are receptive to them. It's not that the guys here are all wimps. They're just a symptom of something wrong going on in society. It's also not like every one of them stays at home and weeps about his situation, most do frequently go out, try their best to get over their predicaments but the bar is so incredibly high that they continuously bite the dust. I consider myself very lucky to have met someone.

This right here clarified your whole point for me. Hell yeah there's something wrong going on in society.

 

I could complain about that high bar all day. But the mistake I think most gu.. no, most everybody makes is that they set that bar as high as what they perceive the opposite sex expects it to be raised. I hate that. People should set their own bar at the height they themselves choose. Strive for their personal best, whether they think it meets "society's" bar or not. Personally, I don't really care about how f*ed up women might set the bar. Hell, I don't care what most women think. I care about what my woman thinks. Should that come... whenever, if ever, whatever.

[Serph]

Also another thing I forgot to say is that, even on this forum I can't believe the double standard that there is when dealing with posters depending on whether their gender is male or female. I've really read a whole, whole lot of older topics i this forum, mostly for my own amusement/curiosity, and honestly I've yet to see even ONE instance of a female OP being replied to any severely or viciously. Absolutely all the replies that she'll get will be supportive/compassionate, or at worst lukewarm. No one will become even faintly hostile and say stuff like "What the hell are you doing? You're wrong, and here's why!" It's as if there was an unwritten rule saying that they shall not be judged or criticized under any circumstance. Whereas I remember countless threads with male OPs that quickly devolved into mockery, severe criticism, condescension, outright meanness and character assassination, this from guys and girls alike.

[stillafool]

Also another thing I forgot to say is that, even on this forum I can't believe the double standard that there is when dealing with posters depending on whether their gender is male or female. I've really read a whole, whole lot of older topics i this forum, mostly for my own amusement/curiosity, and honestly I've yet to see even ONE instance of a female OP being replied to any severely or viciously. Absolutely all the replies that she'll get will be supportive/compassionate, or at worst lukewarm. No one will become even faintly hostile and say stuff like "What the hell are you doing? You're wrong, and here's why!" It's as if there was an unwritten rule saying that they shall not be judged or criticized under any circumstance. Whereas I remember countless threads with male OPs that quickly devolved into mockery, severe criticism, condescension, outright meanness and character assassination, this from guys and girls alike.

 

 

Obviously you have never read the OW/OM Forum. There is nothing but females fighting other females over there. Not just there but all over this forum. You haven't been here long enough or you'd know this.

 

Women are not the only ones who set the bar high. Men do the same thing. They could date if they wanted to also, but the majority of them want a cute girl who is educated and has something going for herself. There's nothing wrong with this but don't get angry because women want the same things.

[Serph]

Show me links of females and males going out of their way to put other LS females down.

 

They could date if they wanted to also, but the majority of them want a cute girl who is educated and has something going for herself. There's nothing wrong with this but don't get angry because women want the same things.

Please. It's far from being the only support board I've read, and the pattern is ALWAYS the same: female saying that she's too shy, feeling too bad or is too picky to be part of a couple although she's approached every now and then, and guys full of dread who can't get a single date or a single sign of interest from the opposite sex for the life of them. It's bat**** insane.