We both married and made mistakes, is destiny meant for us...we still love each other

[Nevertheless]

I met him in high school and never loved anyone so deeply. Along with the younger years, we grew up together but never stopped loving each other. I met him seven months pregnant. Throughout the ups and downs that came with life and a family our love continued to grow until we made the mistake of listening to so called experienced people and began fighting and disrespecting one another.

 

Ou greatest obstacle came about when he was sent to prison for a crime he did not commit. I felt like walking into high speed traffic when the judge read "Guilty" I felt my life was over. If it were not for my son who knows where I would be. He had to do five years.

 

With all the pain I endured, I decided to hold my head high and reach for goals that seemed a life time away. I went back to college and acquired two degrees. I tried to wait but temptation prevailed. In order to assure my new boyfriend I was sincere, I stopped protecting myself and got pregnant. A few months later he left me. I told my ex about the situation although it hurt him tremendously, he told me to keep the baby, DO NOT ABORT! I went through with a life threatening preganancy thinking it meant the end for us. I kept in touch, but less frequent.

 

I met another man who knew how I felt about him and felt threatened, he moved me 10 hours away. It didn't take long for me to find myself home again and longing for him, he was out.

 

After reaching him by phone I pleaded for 6 hours to come back. He lied and told me he had began a life in order to clear his mind and thoughts. He had to love himself again. I didn't know and eventually went on. I met my husband and applauded the thought that he was career oriented, no drug past, a bible carrier and good father. We had our two sons each in common. I refused to have a child with him afraid of being abandoned. We fell in love with our adopted child. Prior to my marriage I told him how I felt for my ex. I told him I would go to my grave loving him.

 

Somehow our paths have crossed and our love is still strong. Unfortunately, I married my husband for fear of missing out on a good man with a decent back ground who is intelligent and handsome but verbally abusive and not communicable. Our marriage is failing because we have never become ONE. I feel as single now as anytime. I'm forever striving to better life for the family.

 

He married a square who doesn't have much of a life. No children, living w/ her mom and refuses to have kids. She more or less keeps him on the straight and narrow. Very little activity, kinda homey. We both realize we met good people we thought we could learn to love but we are still very much in love. This man does nothing but work and take in a beer on the weekend. His P.O. doesn't even ask to visit with him because he's so level headed. He's a supervisor on his job and real estate investor.

 

When we make love it feels as if we're doing no wrong. I want him and he wants me. We feel each other. We are both financially better than we've ever been and are both unhappy. All that we are blessed with, jobs, cars houses...no mere enjoyment or fulfillment. My life would be so complete with him.

 

When we're together we talk about the good, bad and the ugly. We talk about our feelings and prayers, the kids. It's not just sexual, although it's true love making. We want everything to be right so we talk about God's presence and letting this occur without force but flesh is weak and I miss him. We deserve to be happy.

 

The dilemna is....he has been threatened by police to stay out of this area because he's not from here. And I'm afraid to go where he is for the safety of my children. My heart longs to be with him and my children deserve to see what TRUE LOVE is it will be healthier than the daily routine that they see. I love this man, we have been through a lot together. I just want it to be right.

 

HOW DO WE MAKE TWO WRONGS ONE RIGHT???????

[Just A Girl2]

First of all, I think the obvious question people reading are going to ask is: what was he convicted of???

 

And *why* is he not allowed in your 'area' (not where he's from), according to the police? Was he charged w/ molesting a child or something? (I ask because that's one crime, at least in Canada, where when the pedophile is released from prison, law enforcement is VERY careful to know WHERE that individual is living, so they can keep very close track of him). I ask this too because you mentioned "the safety of your children."

 

It sounds like you've very much needed to have a man in your life, even going so far to keep one as allowing yourself to get pregnant by someone you're not married to:

 

 

In order to assure my new boyfriend I was sincere, I stopped protecting myself and got pregnant.

 

You were also 7 months pregnant when you originally met Mr Convict.

 

So then you marry Mr Good Guy, but now don't really feel you love him, and you still love Mr Convict......and are sneaking around, both of you, behind your respective spouses' backs, and having an affair.

 

When we're together we talk about the good, bad and the ugly. We talk about our feelings and prayers, the kids. It's not just sexual, although it's true love making. We want everything to be right so we talk about God's presence and letting this occur without force but flesh is weak and I miss him. We deserve to be happy.

 

Make no mistake, I really doubt that God wants any part of a situation (nor does he bless this situation) where 2 married individual are carrying on in an adulterous relationship. You can pray all you want for things to "work out" but God's pretty clear in the Bible on adultery...heck, it's even one of the 10 Commandments.

 

And you talk about his wife like she's just a boring, "square" home-body. How do you know this? This is only what he TELLS you...doesn't mean it's true, and who cares if she is this way, HE is the one who MARRIED HER, so she couldn't have been all that bad. I think it's the epitome of rude and disrespectful when spouses tell their "lovers" negative things about their spouses......especially it's THEM that they end up going home to, after the rendez-vous with the lover.

 

I feel very sorry for your children, who've no doubt had a tough life and both come from different fathers who it doesn't seem are even part of the picture........and for your respective spouses....who deserve much better than to be betrayed and cheated on.

 

Again, without knowing what "crime" your love was convicted of (even though you say he didn't commit this crime...how you know this for sure, I'd like to know??), it's hard to say much more.

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE: "In order to assure my new boyfriend I was sincere, I stopped protecting myself and got pregnant."

 

That's a rather novel approach. Have you copyrighted it?

 

I think you're headed for the heartache of your life. If you don't like your current marriage, get out of it and date around.

 

OK, so you want to see this love of your life. Since you already warned your husband of your undying love for your convict ex, I think you need to talk to him straight away, tell him he's back around, and that you want to be with him. Your husband needs to know the truth.

 

You have to be the judge of whether or not you want to endure, along with this guy, all the lifetime stigma that goes with being a convicted felon. You are the one who needs to live with yourself.

 

Thus far, you relationships have been pretty unhealthy and chaotic and I feel you're headed for another one. Right now, you are feeling pretty good about your old guy. He was needing a woman right out of prison and picked the wrong person. So you both at least having picking the wrong people in common.

 

You don't make two wrongs one right and you never will. You just make another wrong...maybe even a nightmare. But to get this out of your system, talk to your husband, get a divorce, and knock yourself out. It's too back you won't consider dating around and finding the right person that way. This guy's prison record will follow him all the days of his life unless he can prove he's innocent...and don't count on that.