SouthernT Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 Here's the deal, man: you keep dating women who have a higher interest in you than you have in them. You know that. But I'm wondering, are there women that you might pass up along the way? Have you ever found yourself not asking out a woman because you might think she's a challenge or a risk? If that's the case, it might be that you end up with these women because they're 'safe' but they don't necessarily turn you on. You might bang them a few times and lose interest after the fifth or sixth week. You might get annoyed when they just want to sleep over at your pad, interfering with your schedule. If, however, you find that you can't sustain the fire with anybody, then you might be a serious commitment-phobe. Maybe there's a part of you that just doesn't warm up to women at all, or takes an unusually long time to do so. I tend to think, though, that there's someone out there who occasionally gets your juices flowing, but either they're not available, or perhaps they're available but the competition for their attention is fierce and rather than taking a shot at them, you back off and settle for women who are more stable. Of course I could be way off... I don't think people really fall in love. I think people fall in love with the idea of being in love. I think people think they're 'in love' when in reality they're in lust, though we cannot be dismissive of this stage of dating. It's a powerful state, in which a lot of endorphins are released, creating a natural high. We're addicted to this feeling of being 'in love', as it is a state of euphoria. We're addicted to having sex with someone whom we find sexy, and it's a special boost to the ego when they're valued by other competitors. The combination of physical gratification and boost to the self-esteem created by a hot love affair is what we identify as being in a love state (in love). We're addicted to that. Over time, that feeling subsides and gives way to what I believe true love between lovers really is: the attachment stage. The other person becomes a part of our lives, and we become attached to them emotionally. That probably takes about 6 months, I'd say, though it can happen over a shorter period of time. I think strong relationships have to go through both stages. I think there has to be a hot sex stage, an ego stage...and then there has to be an attachment stage. Relationships between the genders are complex, which is why it's rare to find one of those relationships which goes through all of the right stages. I'm reading the book "Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic man Before He Breaks Your Heart". I'm sure alot of you have already read this book. A friend of mine suggested it and the stuff I'm reading in this book is insane. The whole idea of a man putting his best foot foward by stopping at nothing to win her over. And pursuing a woman until she responds and falls for him and THEN he says he feels trapped and needs to get out as soon as possible? HUH?!?! Link to post Share on other sites
SpikeyChick Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 I have a hot date lined up for Saturday. We're going to Hooter's for wings and drinking beer from a can..... ooooohhhhhh I can't wait. lol. 'Ha ha ! ENVY disguised with ridicule.. Miami was great and so was "himself" ..talk about stamina.. Anyone ever been dancing at Mangos Tropical Cafe.. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 'Ha ha ! ENVY disguised with ridicule.. Miami was great and so was "himself" ..talk about stamina.. Anyone ever been dancing at Mangos Tropical Cafe.. I was in Central and South Florida for a period of about six months several years ago now. Miami South Beach is great. Hit a club or two and then go to Wolfie's for some early grub and coffee. Link to post Share on other sites
pandagirl Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 Yes! I promise you won't fall in love with me I just wrote you! ha! Link to post Share on other sites
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