kimba Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 "why do women fall in love with me all the time???" Honestly lap it up while you can........... Link to post Share on other sites
blue.butterfly Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 The fact that women fall for you may be a matter of statistics. The single woman-to-man ratio in New York City is VERY high. "Unmarried women outnumber unmarried men by 770,000 in the New York City metro area, and by 400,000 in New York City proper." So take the fact that the pool of available men is quite small, coupled with the fact that you are a great catch.... You are most likely going to have women falling all over you frequently. However, good luck on finding the woman YOU like. Be choosy. You have so much opportunity to find a great woman, who is perfect for you! http://blogs.wsj.com/numbersguy/new-york-citys-gender-gap-139/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrooklynBridge Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 OK this isn't as intense as saying she's in love with me. But, I went on a 3rd date, again, 3rd date last night with a really awesome woman. And she shows up and gives me presents me with a cute gift. How sweet I think, she got me some little present. Cool. What's the present? A first edition, autographed copy of my favorite book of all time. It came up in conversation and that's the cute gift she got me! I've been wanting to buy that for myself for a long time, but I couldn't justify spending over $500 for a book. And this woman on our third date gives me that as a "small gift" Still a little stunned...... Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 OK this isn't as intense as saying she's in love with me. But, I went on a 3rd date, again, 3rd date last night with a really awesome woman. And she shows up and gives me presents me with a cute gift. How sweet I think, she got me some little present. Cool. What's the present? A first edition, autographed copy of my favorite book of all time. It came up in conversation and that's the cute gift she got me! I've been wanting to buy that for myself for a long time, but I couldn't justify spending over $500 for a book. And this woman on our third date gives me that as a "small gift" Still a little stunned...... She might as well be saying "I love you" MAAAAN there are a LOT of desperate women in NY. I mean desperated to be loved...yikes!!! That's too much, cool gift but not for a third date, not even for a first b-day together. What was your reaction? Are you still into her? post a video of your next date so that we can see you in action. Link to post Share on other sites
pandagirl Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 BB, I live in NYC. Maybe I should meet you so I can scientifically report back about your super powers! Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 BB, I live in NYC. Maybe I should meet you so I can scientifically report back about your super powers! Oooohhh the plot thickens... BB seriously, where do you take these women out on dates and what does a "date" with you and leading up to it entail meaning what are the signs you are giving off, is there a lot of feedback leading up to the date meaning a lot of compliments, a lot making contact on your part and then small gifts like flowers and extravant plans to take them to extravagant places are you doing ANYTHING that might signify to them "he is REALLY into me"? I mean some guys are brought up to be the "perfect gentleman" and they think that in the early stages of dating he should really wow the woman by buying expensive tickets to hot plays, making extravagant plans for a weekend getaway, and too many small gifts so this a woman can interpret as he is REALLY into her meanwhile he might just do this with everyone thinking he has to really go all out because that is what "gentlemen do" I've had a few guys like that and with the wrong kind, or should I say the type of girl that doesn't have much experience, she might take this as sign that he is really into her when in fact he does this on every date. You don't share much info in terms of what you do for the women and it does lead to believe it can't possibly be SO one sided, there must be something you are doing to make these women latch on so hard... Maybe I am just a bit skeptical. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I think I may understand why Mr. SpikeChick seems to have so much first-hand insight into BrooklynBridge. I have a bridge I'd like to sell everyone, too... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrooklynBridge Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 Oooohhh the plot thickens... You don't share much info in terms of what you do for the women and it does lead to believe it can't possibly be SO one sided, there must be something you are doing to make these women latch on so hard... Maybe I am just a bit skeptical. That's fair enough. I will say this. If I like somebody, or think that I will, I do consciously orchestrate what some would call a "dream date." I want the woman to have a lasting impression when they're with me. I don't want this sound manipulative or anything, but I do go out of my to make sure the details of each date are very unique a carefully planned. I never take a woman, initially that is, to a place that she's been to before. I try to take her somewhere in a completely different and unfamiliar neighborhood as well. I try to make sure that when we're together it's very romantic in relation to what she would perceive as romantic. And most importantly, I try to make her feel totally at ease and just plain wonderful, that enables me to just be myself and let my personality do all the work for me. It's pretty simple I think...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrooklynBridge Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 BB, I live in NYC. Maybe I should meet you so I can scientifically report back about your super powers! Oh yeah? I'll call your bluff: [email protected] Yes, that's my real email address! Honest...... Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 That's fair enough. I will say this. If I like somebody, or think that I will, I do consciously orchestrate what some would call a "dream date." I want the woman to have a lasting impression when they're with me. I don't want this sound manipulative or anything, but I do go out of my to make sure the details of each date are very unique a carefully planned. I never take a woman, initially that is, to a place that she's been to before. I try to take her somewhere in a completely different and unfamiliar neighborhood as well. I try to make sure that when we're together it's very romantic in relation to what she would perceive as romantic. And most importantly, I try to make her feel totally at ease and just plain wonderful, that enables me to just be myself and let my personality do all the work for me. It's pretty simple I think...... BINGO!!! Ok BB thanks for answering that honestly now we can at least get some headway here... So if you are doing all this with every single girl on a the first few dates, and there is nothing wrong with taking a girl somewhere she has not been before that's actually cool, but to carefully plan an intricate encounter and shower them in attention to make a "lasting" impression as you say, why would you do that for someone you don't even know? Why do you want to be SO appreciated before you even know if you can appreciate her? And if you do this for any girl what is left for a girl that you truly feel love towards? Everything you described is loving gestures, the types of gestures you do for someone VERY special, you know...to show your "love" for them. It now appears that the one who is making the first move to feel desperately loved is you. I am not saying DON'T be yourself, or don't get a girl flowers for a date, or don't take her to a hot new art exhibit in Brookly, but you gotta tone it down a bit, BE YOURSELF and go somewhere different or even special but don't over do it with ALL the attention. This is a time for a woman to get to know YOU not to get to see how special of a moment you can create for her. Imagine if you do fall inlove with a girl how do you up the ante if you start off with such a loud BANG? I can guarantee you that down the line and once you establish a long term relationship if you don't keep up the surprise dates, the intricate planning and the lavish attention to leave a lasting impression she will feel like you are not that into into her because the guy she fell for was "the man with a plan". So be careful how much you give in the early stages, because you want a woman to fall for YOU not for the lavish scenario you create for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrooklynBridge Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 BINGO!!! Ok BB thanks for answering that honestly now we can at least get some headway here... So if you are doing all this with every single girl on a the first few dates, and there is nothing wrong with taking a girl somewhere she has not been before that's actually cool, but to carefully plan an intricate encounter and shower them in attention to make a "lasting" impression as you say, why would you do that for someone you don't even know? Why do you want to be SO appreciated before you even know if you can appreciate her? And if you do this for any girl what is left for a girl that you truly feel love towards? Everything you described is loving gestures, the types of gestures you do for someone VERY special, you know...to show your "love" for them. It now appears that the one who is making the first move to feel desperately loved is you. I am not saying DON'T be yourself, or don't get a girl flowers for a date, or don't take her to a hot new art exhibit in Brookly, but you gotta tone it down a bit, BE YOURSELF and go somewhere different or even special but don't over do it with ALL the attention. This is a time for a woman to get to know YOU not to get to see how special of a moment you can create for her. Imagine if you do fall inlove with a girl how do you up the ante if you start off with such a loud BANG? I can guarantee you that down the line and once you establish a long term relationship if you don't keep up the surprise dates, the intricate planning and the lavish attention to leave a lasting impression she will feel like you are not that into into her because the guy she fell for was "the man with a plan". So be careful how much you give in the early stages, because you want a woman to fall for YOU not for the lavish scenario you create for them. Well, just to put things into perspective. A place she's never been to before at times could just be some low key bar. I'm not talking about flowers and waterfront walks and all that cheesy crap. Or it could be dinner at a pizza place that no one knows about. Know what I mean? Unique and different. Nothing over the top and crazy. Sometimes. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Well, just to put things into perspective. A place she's never been to before at times could just be some low key bar. I'm not talking about flowers and waterfront walks and all that cheesy crap. Or it could be dinner at a pizza place that no one knows about. Know what I mean? Unique and different. Nothing over the top and crazy. Sometimes. lol. Yeah of course I do you just described every single date I have ever had pretty much, some more some exactly that. That's what everyone does on a first, second.. 8th... date!?! :laugh: Ok so what is this lasting impression that you talk about then? back to square one again... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrooklynBridge Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 Yeah of course I do you just described every single date I have ever had pretty much, some more some exactly that. That's what everyone does on a first, second.. 8th... date!?! :laugh: Ok so what is this lasting impression that you talk about then? back to square one again... haha. I guess it's just for me to put into words. I just try to make them special and have a memorable time. It's more about the experience than the particulars of the actual date I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 TC is right with her two previous posts.. just try to make them special and have a memorable time. It's more about the experience than the particulars of the actual date I guess. Maybe doing this is abit too much, tone it down a little. It's great that you're romantic and want to show your date a good time, but ask yourself this - (and you did say you want it to be a memorable date, something she'll remember forever - Is it really about "her" or is it about you? Some say it's manipulative, but I don't think it's coming from a malicous place at all, abit of ego, yes, but so what? The thing is, you give TOO much too quickly and make her feel special, she IS going to fall for you, look at you as long term relationship and even marriage material. The book one gave you after 3 dates, well, that is ALOT to give someone after such a small amount of time, but with that being said, if you did wooed her and made her feel special like what you described in your other post, no wonder she gave you an expensive and thoughtful gift. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Do meet up with Brooklyn, pandagirl! Maybe you can help him find some middle ground. Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 BB, I'm curious, you're 27, is this a relatively new phenomenon? I do identify with your situation, but for me it started around 18 (I'm now 39), and for a few years the girls I wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship with (at all, or for less time than they'd like) would often cry and I'd feel a little guilty for a while. Then I got into a few LTRs with the right girls and it wasn't such an issue. But being single again a couple of years ago the same thing happened. There's not much you can do, if you act more callous, indifferent or set up clear boundaries you will just be more of a challenge. Being awesome is sometimes as much a curse as a blessing. But like I say I came to terms with it not being my fault years ago, and save my guilt for things I've actually done wrong. Anyway, my original question - is there something you've been doing lately that's amped up your appeal so all the women fall 'in love' with you? Or is it the steady accumulation of guilt as woman after woman cries herself to sleep over you that's prompted this question? Don't listen to the bitter haters that want to project their issues onto you, and count your blessings and enjoy yourself looking for the right girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrooklynBridge Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 Do meet up with Brooklyn, pandagirl! Maybe you can help him find some middle ground. Yes! I promise you won't fall in love with me Link to post Share on other sites
MrsHellnoFire Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Probably because the dating pool sucks in nyc. Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Are you sure you're not letting them hope for a lot more than you can give? i.e. if you give them the impression you are totally in to them, into commitment, etc, that might make the girl fall for you more...don't let it get that far as that creates a lot of drama and girls WILL 'fall in love' or want a serious commitment way quicker with a guy that promises them that stuff. If you are clearer about things - i.e. to let the girl know that you like her company but that you want to move slow/you aren't super serious, etc - you'll find they don't 'fall in love' with you so much. I kinda think you might want them to fall in love with you, which is why the situation keeps occurring...when you get older and are truly ready for commitment, you'll really like it when the right girl gets really serious with you. And yea, maybe dating in NYC just sucks and you can't meet a decent girl, lol Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 I think you are a typical twenty something kind of a guy who thinks everybody has the hots for him and you don't appreciate no one because you are arrogant and cocky and feel everybody falls in love with you. But that's just some psychology kind of thing, they want to feel they can change you because you are arrogant and appear to be impossible to everyone, you are a challenge. They are just infatuated, not in love. In love is when they already know you, and they love the person inside. Not the challenge. but if you act cocky, and arrogant and feel " everybody is in love with me very quickly " without really appreciating noone, then you are just f....ed up. Bitter, bitter, bitter.... Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Here's the deal, man: you keep dating women who have a higher interest in you than you have in them. You know that. But I'm wondering, are there women that you might pass up along the way? Have you ever found yourself not asking out a woman because you might think she's a challenge or a risk? If that's the case, it might be that you end up with these women because they're 'safe' but they don't necessarily turn you on. You might bang them a few times and lose interest after the fifth or sixth week. You might get annoyed when they just want to sleep over at your pad, interfering with your schedule. If, however, you find that you can't sustain the fire with anybody, then you might be a serious commitment-phobe. Maybe there's a part of you that just doesn't warm up to women at all, or takes an unusually long time to do so. I tend to think, though, that there's someone out there who occasionally gets your juices flowing, but either they're not available, or perhaps they're available but the competition for their attention is fierce and rather than taking a shot at them, you back off and settle for women who are more stable. Of course I could be way off... I don't think people really fall in love. I think people fall in love with the idea of being in love. I think people think they're 'in love' when in reality they're in lust, though we cannot be dismissive of this stage of dating. It's a powerful state, in which a lot of endorphins are released, creating a natural high. We're addicted to this feeling of being 'in love', as it is a state of euphoria. We're addicted to having sex with someone whom we find sexy, and it's a special boost to the ego when they're valued by other competitors. The combination of physical gratification and boost to the self-esteem created by a hot love affair is what we identify as being in a love state (in love). We're addicted to that. Over time, that feeling subsides and gives way to what I believe true love between lovers really is: the attachment stage. The other person becomes a part of our lives, and we become attached to them emotionally. That probably takes about 6 months, I'd say, though it can happen over a shorter period of time. I think strong relationships have to go through both stages. I think there has to be a hot sex stage, an ego stage...and then there has to be an attachment stage. Relationships between the genders are complex, which is why it's rare to find one of those relationships which goes through all of the right stages. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 People, please! How can you be so gullible? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t153860/ Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 People, please! How can you be so gullible? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t153860/ ... we hung out and it was amazing! just being around him felt great ive never felt this way before ... everything that I wanted from the other guy he had and more. Now I don't know what to do, Don't know what to do? Don't know what to do?? What??!! Put those extra inches to work, girl!! Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 I have a hot date lined up for Saturday. We're going to Hooter's for wings and drinking beer from a can..... ooooohhhhhh I can't wait. lol. HA HA HA! Too funny, D. I think it speaks volumes about Spikey that her wonderful "HUNK" is taking her for a special Saturday night date for shots and salsa. Charming... BB - I think you sound like you have it ALL going on! And your plight (blight?) in life is to carry this like an albatross. Don't fret - imagine life on the other side in which NO woman will pay you any attention. It could be worse... Perhaps you should try and set expectations early on a little better? Let women know you are NOT looking for anything too heavy? Even if they fall, at least you've been honest from the get-go... Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Let women know you are NOT looking for anything too heavy? He might prefer heavy. On top, I mean. Even if they fall, Gravity always has its day in the end. Thankfully medical science is doing its best to keep up, and to lift everyone's spirits. Link to post Share on other sites
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