Kira Posted March 5, 2000 Share Posted March 5, 2000 I am a junior in college and broke up with my last boyfriend around the new year. I met this man a little over a month ago and we spent some time together just getting to know each other. He lives about 2 hours away and he came up here to see me one weekend. We spent an almost perfect weekend together. The mistake came when we had unprotected sex one time. I am pregnant now. I am not sure if I want the baby and he told me afterwards that he would be fine if I got an abortion because he would have a hard time supporting another baby. He has a son from a previous relationship. He said he would support whatever decision I made. Then he told me yesterday that he is married. He is in the military and his wife lives in a different state. This came as a big shock and I think he should tell his wife about our relationship and evaluate his marriage. I know there is no chance of a relationship with this man and I don't want one. I am hurt by what he did and I keep having these thoughts about having the baby to spite him and make him unhappy. Someone please give me some advice on this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Shirley Posted March 5, 2000 Share Posted March 5, 2000 I am a junior in college and broke up with my last boyfriend around the new year. I met this man a little over a month ago and we spent some time together just getting to know each other. He lives about 2 hours away and he came up here to see me one weekend. We spent an almost perfect weekend together. The mistake came when we had unprotected sex one time. I am pregnant now. I am not sure if I want the baby and he told me afterwards that he would be fine if I got an abortion because he would have a hard time supporting another baby. He has a son from a previous relationship. He said he would support whatever decision I made. Then he told me yesterday that he is married. He is in the military and his wife lives in a different state. This came as a big shock and I think he should tell his wife about our relationship and evaluate his marriage. I know there is no chance of a relationship with this man and I don't want one. I am hurt by what he did and I keep having these thoughts about having the baby to spite him and make him unhappy. Someone please give me some advice on this situation. Hi This man doesn't care about his marriage. But you don't have a baby just to get back at someone. You can in no way control his happiness. So try to focus on your own feelings right now, and think about that baby inside of you. I for one, do not believe that abortion is an answer to anything. The emotional strain of an abortion will stay with you for the rest of your life. Every time you see a child, you'll be reminded of the one you killed. Pregnancy is not easy, especially when you're alone. But those nine months are a short part of your life, and you can give the baby up for adoption if you are unable to support it. It will be a lot easier to live with yourself, and you won't have the constant worry of whether or not you made the right decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Kira Posted March 5, 2000 Share Posted March 5, 2000 Thanks for your advice. I will talk to him about our different options today. I don't know how I feel about adoption and I don't think he would want that but he said it is up to me. I still feel that he should have a say in the decision I make. I know the final decision is mine but I still think he should be involved. Link to post Share on other sites
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