my boyfriends girl--friend...

[megn.]

I'm going to try and tell the short(er) version of the story. If you have any questions, please ask. Any advice anyone has is greatly appreciated.

 

I've been seeing my boyfriend for almost a year now, but we have been very off and on. When we met, everything was great, but a couple months in there was a lot of drama with his ex, who I found out he still lived with. Things were rocky for a while because of that, but he moved out and I thought things would get better. Instead, he needed his space. Over time, things have got better with his ex, and we started to move past it, but for a while, it created a lot of trust issues. He still talks to her, but tells me he wants to be with him. And then there is this other girl, who he claims is just a friend.

 

He is originally from the south, but moved here years ago. A friend from back home had known this girl up here for a while, and introduced them online. This girl lived only 20 mins from where I was going to school, so the 4 of us all got into a chat together and started getting to know each other. Well that was 8 months ago, and now she and my boyfriend are "great friends" It seems like when he and I arent together, hes hanging out with her, and hes always been very shady about the whole thing. He wouldnt tell me he was hanging out with her, nothing. Well back in January, he had made plans with me, when I called him, he wouldnt answer. I tried to get a hold of him for a few hours, and nothing, and decided to stop by his place. When I got there, I called again, and he answered. He told me he was a couple cities over and about to catch the train home. I could see the light was on inside, which he never has on if he isnt home, and his room window was open. Now I know his room gets warm, but you dont leave it wide open in January in MA when you arent home. He said he would be home in 30 mins and would call me then. I felt he was lying to me. Because he lived on the 3rd floor, I couldnt see in, but I walked across the street and could see him sitting at his desk in the window. I called him back and asked him why he had lied to me, and he tried to act like he didnt know what he was talking about. When I called him out on it, he hung up on me. I waited for a few mins trying to call him back, and he wouldnt answer. I saw his roommate pull up, and I asked him to let me it. When I got upstairs, he was hanging out in his room with this girl. I was pissed. He lied to my face, and if there wasnt anything going on there should be no reason to lie. He didnt want to talk about anything, and I felt like I was talking to a brick wall, so I left. For the next few days he would call me and want to hang out but when I said I wanted to talk about things he would get mad, and a couple days later broke up with me. We stopped talking for a while, and I was trying to move on. He kept calling me and texting me, and I wouldnt respond. Some messages would be simple "I want to talk to you" and some would be rude "we never should have met" This just made me more angry and hurt. After 2 and a half months, I told him we should talk. We talked about things, and decided to try and fix things, and work it out. Everything seemed to be better, but hes closer then ever with this girl now.

 

Come to find out they hooked up once while we werent talking, but he says nothing would happen now because we are back together. But I dont understand this girl, she drives an hour-hour and a half to go see him and "just hang out" and whenever he needs something, or a ride somewhere, shes there for him, before I even know he has something to do. I feel like she is always there for him, and its not that I wouldnt do anything for him. I later found out that they have slept in the same bed together on a few occasions, he says nothing happened but that she needed a place to sleep. Once even after we got back together. We had a huge argument and he said it wouldnt happen again. This girl texts him all day long, and she talks to him online alot. She knows things about him and his life before I do, and in much more detail, and I have to ask 100 questions to get things out of him. Yes I am jealous of her, because I don't understand their relationship. Its not like hes been friends with her forever, he's known me longer, and yet she calls him one of her best friends. I was going to school an hour from where he lived, and he would come spend the weekend with me. Well since she only lived 20 mins from my school, if I had something to do, like work, he would call her up and hang out while I worked. One night, I was to get off work at 8. He said he would be back around 8. At 10:30 he text'd me drunk. At 1 AM when she dropped him off, he was so drunk. They had gone to a beach and drank and hung out for a while, while I was waiting for him.

 

When I try and talk to him about things, he turns it around, saying I have guy friends. Well one, I never said he couldnt have girls as friends, its the whole relationship and everything with this girl, she has been the reason of a lot of our problems. Also, my guy friends are 15 hours away from me since I moved here to go to school. It just bothers me because Ive asked him before how he would feel if I slept in the same bed as another guy, and he said he would be mad and jealous, and I ask him what he would think if some guy was driving an hour to come hang out with me, and he said he would wonder. But then he tells me that nothing is going on with them, but I said to him, I could tell you nothing was going on, if some guy drove an hour to see me, you would think there was.

 

I get so fed up sometimes and Im about to just give up, because he doesn't even try to see where I'm coming from, or he just doesn't care. I love him, and I care for him so much, but sometimes it just doesn't seem like the drama will end. Any advice?

[theobserver]

As a guy Megn this is pretty clear cut to me. Have a read of some of the threads here. Infact scratch that, just read everything you just typed. Imagine it was someone else who just typed all that. I would call that person a sucker.

 

This guys a douchbag of the highest calibur. Yes everyone has their issues with their partner having opposite sex friends in the back of our heads but he's broken the boundry being with her so many times.

 

HE IS/HAS DISRESPECTING YOU!

Spending exclusive time with her over you, having her sleep over? yeeeeah. Then ofcourse he hooked up with her anyway during your breakup so there was obviously feelings there though I suspect he was probably banging her well before the breakup anyway. Seriously I just don't get it when you caught him in the lie of being home with the girl and straight up lying to you on where he was that should of been it. When you broke up you should of left it like that.

 

Honestly please dump him and keep it that way. Find someone that shares your views in a relationship.

 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE kick this playa to the curb.

 

Good Luck. Best of luck in life.

[sally4sara]

I don't know how you've stomached staying with this guy; what a walking nightmare he is! This isn't right and you know it so don't stick around for it.

 

I don't think there is much hope for bouncing back once the $h!t has piled this high. He has pulled so much on you he has no reason to believe you will leave if he piles some more on no matter what you say to him about how he makes you feel when he does this stuff.

 

You deserve and can definitely do better than this; anyone could and should. You won't get any better treatment by being accepting of getting walked on. You will just get walked on.

[Siphon9a]

Megn,

 

My post goes along with what the others have said. This guy is a POS of the executive order. He doesn't respect you, love you, or care about you. If he did, these things wouldn't happen. Love is about being with someone you care about and wanting them to feel good about the relationship...you know being happy. Your not happy and haven't been since you've been with him. He's only thinking about himself and doesn't care about how you feel. He's is doing what so many guys and girls do....stringing you along. Why can't people just be honest and straight-forward. It sucks that people are so hell bent on thinking only about the right now and not caring about hurting others. If he had balls and was a man, he'd tell you the truth. Sounds to me like your hanging on to a little bitch. Tell him to F off and let the girl have him. She's gonna get burned eventually with him anyway. Find someone better cause your hanging onto a loser.

 

Sorry if I sound harsh. I just have no respect and have alot of hate for people like him. If you were my friend and I found this out, I'd smash him.