Do guys always have to call first after sex?

[me1013]

I met a guy and we were really attracted to each other and always joked around in a flirty way and even about booty calls. He's a lot younger than me (in the just wanting to have fun stage) has very different viewpoints on things, and we're just too different to date I think.

 

But we have a ton of fun hanging out and like I said, there is the physical chemistry. I had joked about having a booty call and he got all mad about it, saying he didn't want to hear about my booty calls. (this is before we ever went on a date)

 

I wouldn't let him meet me somewhere alone, or just "hang out." Made him take me out on a real date, etc.

 

Well, he just hugged me after our first date and I thought ok,maybe he doesn't like me.

 

He IM'd me right away that night, and asked if I got home ok and we chatted a bit. I thought he wasn't attracted to me, plus after talking to him that night in person I realized we were really different and said I had a great time but think we're just kinda different.

 

I didn't hear from him again after a few days, and I contacted him and said do you still want to be friends and he said yes.

 

Hee asked me to hang out on Friday and of course I had plans. Anyways, he asked again on Saturday and I said I had plans but I did want to hang out with him.

 

Went to his house because I figured we were just friends, since we had discussed that. He didn't try anything physical and we just talked, although he did keep trying to give me alcohol (lol) and was a LITTLE touchy feeling, but nothing inappropriate. Then he suggested we go to the movies. He paid. But I thought he was just being nice.

 

Anyways, while we were watching the movie, I said something to him and then he rubbed the inside of my leg a little and I looked at him and he looked at me and it was definitely more than just friends...and I don't even know how it happened but we were holding hands, started messing around and....long story short we left the movie early and slept together!!

 

I didn't even think he liked me like that, and then suddenly we were sleeping together.

 

He didn't call me after that, but he did IM me two days later, and when I said something about him not calling, he said well you didn't call me either!

 

What is that supposed to mean? I told him guys are supposed to call, that I don't want to be too needy.

 

Anyways, we didn't really discuss more after that. He mentioned about me coming over this weekend and I said I don't know now.

 

I guess, I just feel weird about the whole situation and I'm guessing he might be confused too.

 

I know everyone says if he doesn't call after sex, he just used you-but if it's kind of a mutual using...does he HAVE to call? Maybe he's just as confused as to what I want??

 

I just wish he'd be a man and call so we could discuss what this is...a booty call, a mistake, just something that happened and we'll figure it out later...because I enjoyed hanging out with him as a FRIEND and a friend wouldn't just act like this didn't happen would they??

 

I don't want some crazy uncomfortable talk and I am ok with a booty call but I just want to know what it is!!!

 

I don't really want a relationship with him, not right now, we are just in different places in our life.

 

 

But I really liked hanging out with him, and I don't want it to be a one night stand or to lose the friendship now but I don't want to be friends with someone if I'm doing all the work either!

 

I'm afraid if it IS a booty call, if I try and talk about it, then it will be uncomfortable if I try to talk about it and ruin things. I've never really had a booty call or one night stand, so I don't know how this works...is it normal to sleep with someone and just not talk about it?

[dirty diana]

I suggest you call him. If he doesn't answer or doesn't return the call, or if he does answer but is short with you, then you will have the answer to your question. Men can be real jerks in the sense that if they don't want to be with you anymore they just stop calling instead of just letting you know.

 

I recently had something similar to your situation happen to me, but my situation is a little more complicated. Basically, we got together with full agreement that it was just for fun. He was the one who said if he didn't want to have fun anymore he would tell me. After the second time we were together he just stopped calling. It was perplexing to me because the time we spent together was good, full of sparks.

 

I tried calling him and he didn't return the call until three days later. He seemed rushed to get off the phone so I don't think he really wanted to call me back but did so because we work together and he was afraid of running into me at work.

 

His disappearing act bugged me a lot since all I wanted was him to tell me he didn't want to get together anymore. I had made up my mind to never call him again but it bugged me too much so I called him again. I finally got the answers I was looking for, but if I hadn't called him I'm afraid he would have written me off and avoided me forever... even though he was the one who said he would tell me if he didn't want to do it anymore. So I say call him and if you get him on the phone just flat out ask what's going on. Good luck!

[xpaperxcutx]

What? No, don't call him. You don't need a explanation. You said so yourself that you just want to be friends and would not expect a relationship to come of it. So if anything, just take it as a one night stand with no strings attach.