Villy Posted July 19, 2003 Share Posted July 19, 2003 Ok, here goes nothing. My girlfriend and I dated for quite some time. It went too perfect. Eventually, we started discussing marriage and she was all for it constantly nagging me to hurry up with the ring. I too was all for it but wanted to pay off my college loans before I went further into debt. It would also give her time to pay off her credit card debt from her habit of always needing trendy clothing. Then, one day she started to act differently. She gave me the cold shoulder for a whole day and when she finally did talk she was crying about how confused she was. I had to go to the doctor the next day and she was my ride and agreed to take me. We talked the whole way (4 hour round trip.) I told her to take her time and call me when she knows what she wants. It took a whole day and she said how much she wanted to be with me. It started to feel normal again. A week later, I ordered her ring and since we both work in the same mall where I bought the ring, the news of my purchase made it to her before I was able to ask. She stayed home the next two days complaining she was sick. When I was finally able to talk to her she wanted to stop seeing me because she was so sick of feeling confused. She reiterated numerous times that there was nothing wrong with me. I was soon to be transferred to another location and she said if she missed me so much she would be there when I did. When we talked, I asked her if she saw herself with me in a year and she said yes. She still calls every other day and the other night we talked for a few hours. So, the question is, what should I do? I've been dumped plenty of times before but it has never felt like this. I guess losing the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with makes it worse. Is she being sincere about us being together some day? She has never given me a reason to not trust her before. For informative reasons, she will be 23 in two months and I will be 26 in two months. We both make decent money for our age so finances would not be an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 19, 2003 Share Posted July 19, 2003 She found out you had bought an engagement ring and she got sick for two days??? That doesn't sound like a lady who is excited to be with you. Back off from this one...she is very confused. Let her know you just cannot allow your feelings to be jerked around and to call you when she is ready to get back together and be happy with that. Otherwise, don't contact her or put any pressure on her. Let her be alone to make her mind. I think right now, you're wasting her time. There's simply no way you should marry someone who isn't excited and wants to do that more than anything else in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
Nazima Posted July 20, 2003 Share Posted July 20, 2003 Marriage is a huge step to take. If she got so freaked out by the idea that she was sick for two days, then she's is obviously not as ready as either of you thought. Give her space and let her decide if that's what she really wants. Just don't sit around holding your breath forever waiting for her to make up her mind. Only you can decide what you feel is a reasonable amount of time to wait, just don't put your life on hold just because she doesn't know what she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
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