Author ilmw Posted June 24, 2008 Author Share Posted June 24, 2008 Gunny and CC... you guys were there ... SOOOO much for me in the early days... I'll be on here more later... just so much going on right now.... a nice distraction.... the move and my son... ( he is a huge distraction... kid never slows down... he is like a fruit fly... flies around like mad.. then just dies) l:laugh: As for moving on... Yeah.. emotionally that is going on right now... as for another woman... No interest.... I trusted her more than any human being I have ever known.... she burnt me.... So.. unfortunately... It will take me a while... to even consider someone else... Funny thing... I just don't care... I know... I could get a woman... just don't wont one.... Geeezzz I have had several dates... since the split... just.. there was NOTHING there... at all. Anyway... all is good... should head to bed.. have a lot to do tomorrow. Cheeers! ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I know about the being Burnt thing! Fact is? I should be ashes by now! Thing is? Its a Healing Fire! Once you've walked through it, your metal has been tested! You make it through this S*** ~ you can truly call yourself a Man! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted July 1, 2008 Author Share Posted July 1, 2008 I know about the being Burnt thing! Fact is? I should be ashes by now! Thing is? Its a Healing Fire! Once you've walked through it, your metal has been tested! You make it through this S*** ~ you can truly call yourself a Man! Ashes... ... I like that... Yeah... it is quite the trip... and yes... now after it is all said and done.. I do feel stronger... more of a man.... It is quite amazing... once you are on your own... and you have to make all your own decisions... and then achieve things again.. that are yours alone... it feels great. When they add metal to fire to make it stronger... to temper it? It makes it stronger... Steel! lol ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
mammax3 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Uck! That's totally sucky that she wimped out on you again! I love what you wrote about the tempering of metal into steel! That's awesome. What a great way of thinking and seeing the situation. Congrats on your *own* house! That's gotta feel good. Kids are awesome through times of trouble. My kiddos have been my anchor and my focus. I read recently in "Good parenting through your Divorce" (awesome read, btw) that it usually takes 2-3 years to get refocussed and truly positive about life after a divorce. I believe it. It's been just over a year and I too have NO desire to hop into another relationship. Working on one's self is WAY more important to just keep burying emotions in other relationships. Good for you buddy. (hugs) Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted July 2, 2008 Author Share Posted July 2, 2008 Uck! That's totally sucky that she wimped out on you again! I love what you wrote about the tempering of metal into steel! That's awesome. What a great way of thinking and seeing the situation. Congrats on your *own* house! That's gotta feel good. Kids are awesome through times of trouble. My kiddos have been my anchor and my focus. I read recently in "Good parenting through your Divorce" (awesome read, btw) that it usually takes 2-3 years to get refocussed and truly positive about life after a divorce. I believe it. It's been just over a year and I too have NO desire to hop into another relationship. Working on one's self is WAY more important to just keep burying emotions in other relationships. Good for you buddy. (hugs) Hey Mamma.... great to hear from you... Yeah well...what can I say... I tried. and yeah.. it feels great.. finally getting there mentally to be able to say... it is time to move on... Good to know about that stat... of 2-3 years... makes sense. Although I feel positive about life.. and my future... the idea of relationships... is.. so not a priority. It still shocks... and amazes me... those people... who run out and shack up with others .. so soon after a marital break up...?? Its crazy! You sound like you are in a good spot... hugs back:love: ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 Well, at the very least.... nobody can ever say you didn't make your best effort. I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out, but as usual... your attitude is absolutely remarkable. I just know you're going to do well no matter what life brings you. You've made lemonade out of life's lemons at every turn so far, so it just stands to reason that it'll continue to be so. Someday, all this is going to be far behind you and I think when it is... you're going to look around at your life and all this drama you've been through the past couple of years is gonna seem like the warm-up act leading on to the main event. Letting go of the old can be a matter of making room for the new. One day, you'll find new faces at the table, and they'll be so dear to you that you can't hardly imagine what life was before them. Believe it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Well, at the very least.... nobody can ever say you didn't make your best effort. I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out, but as usual... your attitude is absolutely remarkable. I just know you're going to do well no matter what life brings you. You've made lemonade out of life's lemons at every turn so far, so it just stands to reason that it'll continue to be so. Someday, all this is going to be far behind you and I think when it is... you're going to look around at your life and all this drama you've been through the past couple of years is gonna seem like the warm-up act leading on to the main event. Letting go of the old can be a matter of making room for the new. One day, you'll find new faces at the table, and they'll be so dear to you that you can't hardly imagine what life was before them. Believe it. ! Couldn't have said it better if I tried Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 Well, at the very least.... nobody can ever say you didn't make your best effort. I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out, but as usual... your attitude is absolutely remarkable. I just know you're going to do well no matter what life brings you. You've made lemonade out of life's lemons at every turn so far, so it just stands to reason that it'll continue to be so. Someday, all this is going to be far behind you and I think when it is... you're going to look around at your life and all this drama you've been through the past couple of years is gonna seem like the warm-up act leading on to the main event. Letting go of the old can be a matter of making room for the new. One day, you'll find new faces at the table, and they'll be so dear to you that you can't hardly imagine what life was before them. Believe it. Hi LJ, great to hear from you:) Yeah... I will be glad when this is far behind me... most times I am good. Looking forward to the future. Other times... I feel like I am in stasis... them I feel like I am in denial... and going backwards. There have been times when I have been been in a emotional/moral dilemma. I have so wanted to destroy the OM... make him pay ... but... because of what I do... I know... the mistake this would be... seen it happen so many times... just not worth it. But it has been real conflict this time.. I don't dwell on it... and would never do anything... but I am human... and am allowed to fantasies to. I guess I am still pissed off he stole my life... kinda messed up really.... I'm tired right now... and really want to go to bed... so I guess my mind is wondering...lol As for attitude.... well I think I said this before.... what else can I do.. sulk... be moody... (sometimes...) but really what is the point.... I would rather think happy thoughts... and maintain the best mood I can be in.... kinda goes with the job as well.... for my own sanity... oh... and thanks for the words... as always.. you get me to think... even more.... ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
Shin0bi1 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Hey man just wanted to let you know that your stories and insight and sharing had really helped me in the roughest low point of my life. I wanted you to know this that even despite things going wrong right now and the tough decisions you made, something positive had happened indirectly. I feel that I owe you many thanks and found inspiration in your strengths and weaknesses. Even though I don't know you, our thoughts are the same and we experienced similar situations. It meant a lot to me knowing that I was not the only person going through hard times and that I could relate to someone's experiences. You truly live life with no regrets and very proud of what you have done. Not many people are giving a chance or have the courage to do what you did. I admire your passion and wanting to do the right thing. You are the success story, believe it or not, that many should emulate and follow. It is not about the end results at all... it is what you have accomplished as a person in your journey of life. Sounds corny but thats what i wanted to say to you lol. Anyways man wish you the best and you are truly the better half in that relationship you have now. It really is her loss and your gain. -Shin0bi1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Hey man just wanted to let you know that your stories and insight and sharing had really helped me in the roughest low point of my life. I wanted you to know this that even despite things going wrong right now and the tough decisions you made, something positive had happened indirectly. I feel that I owe you many thanks and found inspiration in your strengths and weaknesses. Even though I don't know you, our thoughts are the same and we experienced similar situations. It meant a lot to me knowing that I was not the only person going through hard times and that I could relate to someone's experiences. You truly live life with no regrets and very proud of what you have done. Not many people are giving a chance or have the courage to do what you did. I admire your passion and wanting to do the right thing. You are the success story, believe it or not, that many should emulate and follow. It is not about the end results at all... it is what you have accomplished as a person in your journey of life. Sounds corny but thats what i wanted to say to you lol. Anyways man wish you the best and you are truly the better half in that relationship you have now. It really is her loss and your gain. -Shin0bi1 Worth reading twice! ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 You wouldn't be human if you didn't occasionally indulge in revenge fantasies about the OM... the more creative the better, I say. But, once you get a little bit further down the pike, building new relationships and what-not, it likely that you're going to feel relieved that this woman put you down. I've said it a hundred times... she must be slap out of her mind. And since she can't appreciate you the way she ought, it's just best that you have the freedom to find a woman who will. These hard feelings will pass. It's a kind of comical thing that in my family, my dad and my ex-step-dad are GREAT friends. Imagine my mother's chagrin that her two ex-husbands get on better together than she does with EITHER of them. In fact, they're more likely to invite each other out for lunch or coffee than to invite her. It goes both ways too. Here recently, my dad had a major surgery. Upon waking up in recovery, he found BOTH his ex-wives looming over him. Things will get better. People grow and change and above all... mellow. You'll see. It's all gonna be okay. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted July 12, 2008 Author Share Posted July 12, 2008 Thanks SO1, Well.... I guess if my story helps someone through their own hell... it made it more worth the trip... I too read many of the sad stories on here... and learned so much... I realized that I was truly not the worst off.... There are some real nightmare stories on here. ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted July 12, 2008 Author Share Posted July 12, 2008 You wouldn't be human if you didn't occasionally indulge in revenge fantasies about the OM... the more creative the better, I say. But, once you get a little bit further down the pike, building new relationships and what-not, it likely that you're going to feel relieved that this woman put you down. I've said it a hundred times... she must be slap out of her mind. And since she can't appreciate you the way she ought, it's just best that you have the freedom to find a woman who will. These hard feelings will pass. It's a kind of comical thing that in my family, my dad and my ex-step-dad are GREAT friends. Imagine my mother's chagrin that her two ex-husbands get on better together than she does with EITHER of them. In fact, they're more likely to invite each other out for lunch or coffee than to invite her. It goes both ways too. Here recently, my dad had a major surgery. Upon waking up in recovery, he found BOTH his ex-wives looming over him. Things will get better. People grow and change and above all... mellow. You'll see. It's all gonna be okay. Thanks again Lj, You do have some interesting stories...lol Yeah... I know... it will be OK... some day....lol:o Link to post Share on other sites
TrustInYourself Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 You got this. You got this! By the way, I wanted to say that your story also inspired me. Even if things don't always turn out the way we expect, we can still be happy. You've showed me a great deal about how to be a better person. I appreciate what you have shared here and wish you the best!! Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted July 20, 2008 Author Share Posted July 20, 2008 You got this. You got this! By the way, I wanted to say that your story also inspired me. Even if things don't always turn out the way we expect, we can still be happy. You've showed me a great deal about how to be a better person. I appreciate what you have shared here and wish you the best!! Thank you! No problem TIY...the very process of writing on here was a form of therapy for me. I vented....got things of my chest, and learned again how to open up...my own closed book of a life. If my soap opera...helpes anyone...all the better... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted July 20, 2008 Author Share Posted July 20, 2008 Oh I forgot to mention... I am all moved into my new house back in my old town! Yeah!! Nice and close to my son again... and even closer to work. My ex dropped off our son the other day... and asked if I minded if she came in to have a look... me being all house proud said sure... ( i knew she would want to do this.. as she volunteered to drop son off) She had a look around.. and said she loved the place... her eyes got misty for a second.. but she caught herself. My son ran around the house and was yelling... "I love your house dad!" I showed them around... and told her all my plans... like re-flooring the down stairs... taking out a wall.... and making a games room... and bar... I was proud of my house. Had a great time with my son... he kept saying how much he loved the house... he was so settled .... he slept in each morning... which is weird for him... as he is an early riser... lol Yes... I am happy. With my house... and my decision to buy when and where I did.... It feels good to be back on track.... and feeling like my life is no longer on hold.... Life is good again... Take care all.... better get back to work... ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
TrustInYourself Posted July 20, 2008 Share Posted July 20, 2008 Oh I forgot to mention... I am all moved into my new house back in my old town! Yeah!! Nice and close to my son again... and even closer to work. My ex dropped off our son the other day... and asked if I minded if she came in to have a look... me being all house proud said sure... ( i knew she would want to do this.. as she volunteered to drop son off) She had a look around.. and said she loved the place... her eyes got misty for a second.. but she caught herself. My son ran around the house and was yelling... "I love your house dad!" I showed them around... and told her all my plans... like re-flooring the down stairs... taking out a wall.... and making a games room... and bar... I was proud of my house. Had a great time with my son... he kept saying how much he loved the house... he was so settled .... he slept in each morning... which is weird for him... as he is an early riser... lol Yes... I am happy. With my house... and my decision to buy when and where I did.... It feels good to be back on track.... and feeling like my life is no longer on hold.... Life is good again... Take care all.... better get back to work... ilmw Your house sounds like the perfect bachelor pad in the works. Invite me over and we can party it up. I'll bring the beer, haha. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted July 20, 2008 Share Posted July 20, 2008 I might take me a while to get to the party but at least send me an invite!!! It is always good to have "your" place, just make sure & tell the little one that it is also his house & maybe let him help out on some of the decorating. The little tear in the X's eye is her knowing she just might have made the worst decision in her life. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 If it were me I turn the place into one part bachelor pad, (complete with mirro reflecting disc ball ) and part Chunkie Cheese Video Arcade (for the little guy). The wife tearing up ~ she knows she's screwed the pooch. There's zero chance of her and "Clown-boy" making it. (Ref: CTA's link to such on another thread) It sounds as though your doing well and "imprvisng, adpating and over-coming" You've fought the good fight, my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 Hi guys, Yah... my place will look even better when it is done... I think I will make my games room/bar area look like an English Pub...with darkened beams on the roof and all... with brass stuff on the walls... and Pint glasses hanging over the bar....lol As for the arcade....lol... my son can suffice with playing xbox with his Pop!...lol Things are coming together.... and it feels good. It was always a burden... when I was renting... that I had to save for a house... Just felt wrong renting... ?? Had my own house before.. and it felt like a step back...?? Now... I am realy back on my feet... and looking and smelling good. Hey when some of the bills are payed down.. I might be able to go out my front door... and get a burger at Wendy's...lol But just the burger... have to watch my pennies... As for invites... lol... have a while to wait..before the place is party ready... maybe a few brewskies... on the back deck...but bring your own chairs...only have 2 at the moment....lol ilmw..... Link to post Share on other sites
CryingCanuck Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Your writting is so nice to read often, brightens up a gloomy day. Take care bro and keep the updates a comin ! ! ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted July 30, 2008 Author Share Posted July 30, 2008 I just read this... This quote kinda summed up.... how I have felt all along.. "There's nothing better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve." OG MANDINO, author of inspirational and self-help books Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted September 11, 2008 Author Share Posted September 11, 2008 Hey all, I guess an update is in order.... yes.. I am alive... and still kicking and screaming.. Been a busy summer... and Im not talking about work... Had my boy a lot this summer.. we have done a bunch of visiting.. here there ... and there again... hung out... just had a blast! ... and I finally let go!.. I really realised... it was going...but.. I know it is gone... I don't think about it anymore... and when I think of EW.. it is because I have something to discuss about our son.... it is weird... I actually had to think about her... to realise... I was not... and no longer cared... I gave up caring. She made her own bed... all I am worried about is my son. Which brings me to my next topic. I am meeting a lady for coffee tonight.... this will be are first face to face... and... I am very excited. I have not felt this excited about meeting someone in a VERY long time. Yeah... its an intenet dating thing... but.. I have seen a bunch of recent photos of her.... and we have talked on the phone... She sounds and laughs how she looks... and that is lovely. So... I will see how it goes tonight.. (yeah.. a little nervious too) It will be fine... I have confidence that, I am all that and a bag of chips ....... ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
GettingThere Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Hey all, It will be fine... I have confidence that, I am all that and a bag of chips ....... ilmw Hee hee a bag of chips!!! Good luck matey!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Billy Bob Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Hey all, I guess an update is in order.... yes.. I am alive... and still kicking and screaming.. Been a busy summer... and Im not talking about work... Had my boy a lot this summer.. we have done a bunch of visiting.. here there ... and there again... hung out... just had a blast! ... and I finally let go!.. I really realised... it was going...but.. I know it is gone... I don't think about it anymore... and when I think of EW.. it is because I have something to discuss about our son.... it is weird... I actually had to think about her... to realise... I was not... and no longer cared... I gave up caring. She made her own bed... all I am worried about is my son. Which brings me to my next topic. I am meeting a lady for coffee tonight.... this will be are first face to face... and... I am very excited. I have not felt this excited about meeting someone in a VERY long time. Yeah... its an intenet dating thing... but.. I have seen a bunch of recent photos of her.... and we have talked on the phone... She sounds and laughs how she looks... and that is lovely. So... I will see how it goes tonight.. (yeah.. a little nervious too) It will be fine... I have confidence that, I am all that and a bag of chips ....... ilmw Make sure you take a rubber in your wallet! Link to post Share on other sites
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